Well, the last three chapters. They will pack a punch! Chapter 10 is short, but it's the most intense. I relate to 10 because I been down that road. Well, enjoy and hope you like it. I will start the next story probably tomorrow since I am off work.
It's Too Much
I knew this would happen. Nothing got better for me or Donovan. Mainly me. It's been four days since Caroline exposed our relationship and it got worse. Donovan went to work and he said even his partner Jack is giving him crap. He is lecturing him on dating me, his step-daughter. He is ready to come home, but he needs to work.
Brielle has been walking around town with me because the people are horrible. I am meeting her at the grocery store and as I sat in my car, a woman around my age knocked on my window. I rolled it down and looked at her. "Yes?" I said and she spit on me.
"You are nothing but a whore. For real, your step-father!" She said and I wiped the spit from my face and Brielle is behind her and she pulled her shirt and pulled her closer.
"You better fucking apologize to her right now. She did not do anything wrong!" Brielle said and the woman laughed.
"Or what?" she asked her.
"You will regret it if you don't!" The woman pushed herself off and dusted he shirt. She glared at me and walked on into the grocery store.
"Let's do some shopping, hope for no more interruptions." I nodded and we went on inside and it seems like everybody stopped what they are doing and stared at me. I feel so self-conscious and I cleared my throat. Bri pulled on my sleeve and we went down the aisles. No one said anything to me, just stared at me and whispered to themselves. I heard what they said, and it hurts me.
"What is she doing here?"
"Why is she showing her face in town?"
"She should be ashamed of herself!"
"She is nothing but a whore!" That last one got me. I hear that one a lot. People call me a whore. Tears brim my eyes and I wipe them and Bri glared at the people and told them to buzz off. "Why are you friends with her? Are you even ashamed of what she done?" A elderly woman asked Bri.
"No, I am not ashamed of her. She is an adult woman, and a great one. You all are just jealous of what she has, a wonderful relationship with the love of her life!" Brielle said and I smiled a little.
"Who so happens to be her step-father!"
"So what? He is not her real father!"
"She is a whore, whore's will fuck anything in sight!" A man said and that is Bri's last straw. She dropped the pasta noodles in her hands and she made a run for him. She tackled him and punched him and everybody is pulling her off. I just stood there, crying. Not because my friend is fighting and getting hurt, the words are hurting me. What if I am a whore? My mother was a drug whore, Donovan told me that. I am just like my mom, I would have fucked anyone just to have sex. Donovan doesn't deserve me. I deserve nobody.
After I finished shopping, Brielle got banned from the store or she would have gotten arrested, I went to my car. Bri came to my car and I just stared out my windshield. "Lucy, what's wrong?" Brielle said and I sighed.
"Nothing, I-I just want to go home okay?" I mumbled.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I love you. I will call you later." She nodded and I drove on home. At a stop light about two blocks from the house, someone honked at me and I turned and it's Ryan. My heart sunk to the ground and he demanded me to roll my window down. When I did he laughed at me. "So, how do you like the attention bitch? You are nothing but an attention and sex whore!" Ryan said and he sped away and I sat there, staring out the window. I can hear the people honking behind me. I feel so stiff and numb.
When I got to the house, nobody is home. I heard the answering machine beep and I went to it. "Hey baby, it's Don. I am having a late night at the station, so order you something to eat for supper. See you when I get home!" Donovan said and I sighed. All alone. I am so alone.
I went down to the wine cellar and grabbed two bottles of wine, a red and a white. I grabbed two glasses and headed to the kitchen. I poured me a glass of each and I turned on the stereo. The first song I heard is Ozzy Osbourne's Suicide Solution. I remember my mom listening to that song before she met Donovan. Mom. Where we're you when I needed you most? You are dead, I remember now. You we're nothing but a drug whore. I am nothing but a whore.
I am a whore, I fucked an older man. I fell in love with an older man. He doesn't deserve me. Yes, I think I take that wine now. I drink the red one first, very fruity. I drank the white one next and I shook my head, a little stronger. I pour me two more glasses and I began to move with the music.
Wine is fine, but whiskey's quicker. Suicide is slow with liquor. Take a bottle and drown your sorrows. Then it floods away tomorrows... Ozzy, I love you man, you understand me!
I drank both bottles empty and my head is dizzy. The song is on repeat and it's been over an hour since I opened the wine. I am laughing and walking loopy to the bedroom. I stood in the mirror in the bedroom and I see a picture of myself and Donovan. We took it a week ago, before this mess stared. I scoffed at it and tossed it to the ground. "Lucille Hogan, you don't deserve Donovan Nichols. You are nothing but a fucking whore!" I said to my reflection and Ozzy began to say "Get the gun. Shoot, shoot, shoot!" and then laughs. I looked down and there is a gun in the floor. Don's .44 pistol. No. I want to feel it. If I want to die, I want to feel pain. I want to feel the pain as I waste away.
I went to the bathroom, grabbing at the walls and I seen the razor by the sink. Yes, hello friend! I lifted the razor and then looked at myself again. My blonde waves are disheveled and I laugh at myself. "Nobody wants you now, you dirty whore. I am a whore, the biggest one of them all! Donovan doesn't love you. He would have said it by now!" I said to myself which it's true. If he loves me, he would have told me by now. It's been almost a month now since we dated. I love him, but I don't want to be unloved. I am already unloved by all. Brielle is disgusted with me, I know she is!
I took in a deep breath and the song started over. I closed my eyes and I pressed the razor against my wrist, then let go. I can't do this! I need to do this. The world does not need Lucille Hogan anymore.
I dug the razor into my wrist deeper and I slit it across my wrist. I see blood oozing from my wrist and do the same with the other wrist. I slid down against the wall and panted. My chest is heavy. I began to feel lightheaded as more blood pours out of my wrist.
I looked up and I hear something in the background, a voice. Cannot tell if it's a man or a woman. I don't care. I closed my eyes and my body began to get colder and colder then weaker...