Fear and Love
Three days has passed since Brent and I left Blake’s place. Blake has not shown up to do anything to me. Every time he shown up, I hid in my upstairs bedroom and painted while listening to my iPod Brent bought me. Today, Brent is testing me, Dette is not over. My cell phone rang and I grabbed it and it’s Brent. “I am still home, Brent. I am finishing up my sunset picture over the Olympia Peninsula,” I said and I can hear him smile.
“Are you going to show me?” He asked and I grinned.
“Of course, and if you pay me enough, I will let you buy it.” For some reason, I began to flirt with Brent for the past two days. Since I don’t have to be around Blake, I am more comfortable. I am still terrified of Brent because I know he wants to fuck me soon, but I am not on edge.
“Hmmm, I know a way I can pay you,” Brent said seductively and I blushed.
“Not that kind of payment, money!” I squeaked and he chuckled.
“I’ll be home around one, major meeting with Alec’s company today. Blake is not here, this is highly unusual of him!” I said my goodbye and got off the phone. Hm, Blake is usually up and ready to go to work. I shrugged my shoulder and dipped my paint brush into the dark orange palette. I heard something bang in the hallway and looked behind me, and nothing is there, my door is open. I shrugged my shoulders and continued my work. All of the sudden, a hand covered my mouth and I screamed into it. “Shhh,” the man said and I kept screaming. The other hand of the man slapped my thigh and I screamed in pain. “Claire, I told you I wouldn’t be far,” the man said and he turned around and it’s Blake. His blonde hair is disheveled and his suit is untidy. “I’ve been thinking about you and I’ve been quite lonely.”
“Go away, I’ll call Dette or Brent!” I said and I grabbed my cell phone and before I dialed anybody’s number, Blake grabbed it and tossed it onto the floor. He pushed my body onto the floor and began to pull down my pajama pants. “You are still my toy, my pet. We just won’t let Brent know…right my pet?” Blake said and I shook my head, agreeing with him. “Good girl, now open your legs and take your panties off.” I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears, and opened my legs and pulled my panties off. He snorted in disgust, I knew its because I am not wearing sexy underwear. “Brent lets you get a way with anything you want,” Blake said and I became angry.
“Because he loves me, he wants me to feel wanted, unlike you!” I smarted off and he slapped me. I turned to my side and spit out some blood.
“Bitch, you don’t back mouth me! I am going to make this as painful and quick, it will be worse than when I took your virginity!” He said and shoved himself inside and I screamed in pain. He is not giving me anytime to adjust, just fucking raping me again. He didn’t even fuck me long, he lasted for about two minutes. He came inside his condom he put on and jerked out. I finally opened my eyes and the condom is covered in blood. “Go away, I’m going to call…”
“You ain’t going to call anybody, Claire baby. If you call either Dette or Brent, I will come back over and rape you in front of Brent and beat you until you want to die! I will be here, same time, every two days and you better be fucking ready for me!” I nodded and he walked out the door and when I heard the door closed, I put my clothes back on and got back into my bed, and fell into a emotionally exhausted sleep. I want to sleep this all away, but I know that is impossible.
“Baby, I am home…Claire?” Brent yelled and I still didn’t get up. I pulled the covers over my head and I can hear him climb the stairs and open my door. “Why your painting not done? Claire, what’s wrong?” Brent said and finally, twelve years of pinned up cries, I finally released it. I wailed loud, louder than I can even imagine. Tears flowed out of my eyes like a waterfall. All the pain I’ve had since I was seven, and the pain I felt the pass week from being taken away. I felt the pain of Blake taking my innocence and raping me this morning. Brent ran to my side and threw the covers off of me. He cradled me in his arms and rocked me. “Shhh, baby, just cry it out, I hate to see you cry,” Brent said and I cried even harder. Fred is wrong, so wrong, somebody DID hear my cries!
“Blake…this morning…” I said through my tears and Brent pulled me back and wiped my tears.
“What about Blake?” He asked, looking very angry.
“He came here…raped me. I wanted…to call…you or Dette, but he threatened…m-me.”
“Threatened you, how?”
“H-he said…that if I called…you or Dette, he would…come over and r-rape me in front of you and beat me…until I wanted to die.” Brent stood up and ran his fingers through his dark hair and paced around the room. I know he is furious with his brother, he raped me again.
“I told him to leave you alone, yesterday to be precise. He asked me if he can fuck you again, but I told him no. I told him the deal is off, you are now mine, only mine. He got pissed and ran out the door. I think he is doing this to make me mad…listen baby, you have to do something to me.” I sniffed and nodded as I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “Hate to say this, but you will let him have sex with you, but pretend to like it, so it won’t hurt you. I hate to see you hurt.” My eyes grow, continue to let Blake fuck me? HELL NO!
“I cannot do that, Brent. I don’t want him sexually. I cannot let him have sex with me and I pretend to like it!”
“I know, baby, but remember, whenever he gets bored of you…”
“Then he will stop!” I remember Brent telling me that. “Okay, I will do it.” He leaned in and he kissed me on my lips. His lips are so soft, compared to Blake’s rough kiss. His hand went to cup my cheek, and I didn’t jerk away. Huh, why didn’t I jerk away? Maybe because I am getting comfortable with Brent. His tongue bathed my bottom lip and I opened my mouth freely and I can feel his smile against my lips. “Liking this?” he mumbled.
“Mmmhmm,” I moaned and his tongue sank into my mouth and my hands found their way to his neck and I held him. My body responded to his tongue and my pussy began to throb. Oh fuck, I want him! He pulled me away and kissed me again, but gently. “I love you, I hope someday you will love me too,” He said and I shook my head.
“Don’t pressure me into it, let me take my time, okay?” I whispered and he smiled.
“At least I got a chance. I am not forcing you to do anything as well, but I really want to make love to you, soon.” I nodded and bit my bottom lip. Mentally, I gave Brent and Blake nicknames. Brent is Love, since he loves me. Blake is fear, since he is a fear giver and I am so afraid of him and my life.