Never in a million years would I have ever thought this would actually happen. After all this time of no longer having a single care in the world, no emotions to push me over the edge and down to rock bottom, at this very second I know for a fact that I am in trouble. My best friend is standing in the one room out of this whole mansion that is completely off limits to her, the one room that she can't dare to explore because of what it holds. And here she is standing before my eyes. Just by the fearful and curious look on her pale face I'm instantly able to tell that she is in nothing but shock. Natalie is glaring at me full on, her hands balled up into tight fists down by her side before she turns away and sets her gaze back to my Master's playroom.
Unthinkingly I step forward and walk through the doorway, making sure to keep my every ounce of my attention on her movements. She roams around the room with only her eyes looking over every piece of sketchy and unique furniture, and I don't have the slightest idea on what to tell her. The black walls and ceiling and blood red colored carpet draws anyone in simply from the ery but yet seductive feeling it has to it. They're in all different shapes and sizes surrounding everywhere around us and it seems like an eternity until our eyes are locked in a mysterious silence.
It's me that decides to break how quiet we both are, but I have no possible backup story or excuse in my mind for me to say at once. I'm at loss for words and I know that in order for me to be safe I have to come up with something fast. As soon as possible, before it's too late.
"Natalie," Is all that leaves my parted lips, shaking my head in a new state of pure fear due to the fact that I have broken the number one rule Jaxon has given me before he left today. He hasn't called me on the cell phone at all, not once, and I'm sure he will be calling very soon to check in on me and I will have to confess to him what has taken place. Her seeing Jaxon's playroom can ruin everything. It can make my entire world fall apart if I don't come up with something soon.
Natalie's eyes widen from the suspense she must be feeling just like I am before she releases a deep breath and folds her arms across her chest. "What the hell is this place?"
Her voice coats nothing but fear at this point which most definitely is far from a good sign. It's more than obvious that a part of her is frightened and upset about being in here. The smell of the leather and one of the very dim lights giving his sex room a creepy lustful glow must be messing with her head just like it did to me the first night he brought me in here.
My lips part as if I'm about to speak, but it's like I have somehow gone on mute.
"This is beyond confusing, shocking, really. I was only trying to figure out where the bathroom was and I open this door. And then this," She suddeny becomes quiet, lifting her hand and gesturing around the room. ". . .Is what I walk into. Sash, do you know about this place? I honestly don't even know what to label it is."
Without my permission, my head nods.
"You've been in here before?" Gasping and staring at me completely stunned, she covers her mouth with her hand. "Oh, for the love of God, please don't tell me that you've had sex in here. This looks like it's from out of a horror movie, like a dungeon. A place to rape and torture someone or something wild and insane like that. Woah... Fuck," She curses under her breath, until something rushes to my mind and immediately I come out with an answer.
"It's a movie set, actually." Once this strange statement escapes from my lips she seems to change her frightened expression to a puzzled one, narrowing her eyes in response.
"A movie set?"
"Yeah," I swiftly rush out over her quiet voice, hating myself for lying to her but it's almost as if it's a survivial instinct. It's like I have been trained to do this in order to protect myself and stay safe, a certain feeling I'm not used to. But I know I have to make something up, a great excuse, or else or I am done. "Mr. Edwards is a millionaire and since he really never stays in this house unless he's just here to visit his family, he has a special contract with an adult movie production studio. They come here to make sex films. He allows them to use this room and in return he gets paid for it, a lot of money. He showed me it the first day I got here to get a laugh out of me."
Watching her face intently and with caution, Natalie surprisingly seems to have believed every word I've said. "Woah! That's crazy. Kind of sexy... In a kinky way. I can honestly say I have never been near a movie set before. Especially inside the actual room they film in."
"Um, yeah, same here."
The excuse I have just pulled out of nowhere has worked successfully. This causes a long and relieved breath to come from my lungs, my heart rate slowing down as a slight grin overtakes her face which really happens to catch me off guard. "They shoot porn in here. Oh my god, this is so weird. Pornstars have been in here and screwed on that bed! Can you believe it? What would you do if Jaxon ever tried to take you in here? That would be nuts!"
I force a smile before letting out a fake chuckle. "Yeah, it would be. He would never," I firmly state, her nodding in response then starting to walk further inside until I'm snapped back into reality. "We really shouldn't be in here though."
"Aw, come on! Have a little fun. I wonder what all of this shit is used for."
"We shouldn't snoop around, Natalie. You can just google it and I'm sure you can figure out what all of this furniture is used for by doing it that way. It just doesn't feel right being in here without Jaxon being home. I mean he technically isn't even supposed to tell anyone else about this and if he knew you were in here with me, without his guidence, he'd probably freak."
"Oh! Right," She carefully says, facing me once again before standing only a few feet away from where I'm patiently waiting. "Well I'm actually pretty touched that you'd tell me something you really weren't supposed to. You could probably get sued for it, especially if there's a contract he signed with them. I mean I obviously know nothing about law so you can't listen to me for sure but it's clear that being in a room that's used for film-making without the owner of the house or producer isn't allowed. You know, that's common sense right there."
With everything she has just said in the matter of a few seconds in one long breath, I nod in reassurance and decide it would be best to go along with it. "Yeah, I could get in trouble for it." Gazing long and hard into her caring green eyes and at her emotional new expression that has corssed her face, I know it would be best for me to say something supportive. "But you're my best friend, Nat, and I trust you."
"Aw, Sash. I love you!" Without any warning she pulls me into a tight hug, squeezing me with every ounce of strength her body holds before drawing back her head to smile. "I trust you, too."
The moment those precious words come from her I suddenly feel my heart slow down, an ache consuming my chest for a few seconds because it really hurt me mentally to hear her say that. Here I am, looking her straight in the face and telling her something that is a complete and utter lie, and she tells me she trusts me? Nothing about this feels right and I know I'm doing the right thing, but it feels so extremely wrong. Lying to her is terrible of me but I signed a contract with this man and I gave him my word I would not reveal to her about his BDSM secret lifestyle, and I can't dismiss that. I have to keep my promise to him and remain as loyal as possible.
As much as I know somewhere deep down inside of me it makes me feel like a horrible friend and a bad person, pushing those emotions away is exactly what I chose to do in this case. Not feeling anything is much better than feeling sorrow and guilt. In all honesty here I have no other choice but to be a good Submissive to my Dominant. He owns me until our contract comes to an end and then I can get back to my normal life, because all I look forward to is the deal we have both made with each other. Once our time is up I know I have to go back to New York to my apartment and in the pit of my stomach, I know for a fact that part of me is going to miss this.
Miss being with him.
But he doesn't want me. . . Nobody does. Especially not now since I'm broken. Even though Jaxon Edwards is making it as obvious as he can that he is trying to change and get the old me back, I know that it's not going to work. I have built up a wall inside my mind that I do not plan on breaking down and this is simply from him destroying me at the cabin. Jaxon might not think it was a big deal what he did, but to me it was. Besides, he would never want anything more from me other than me being his Submissive. And that is something I am perfectly willing to accept considering after what he has done to me, I want nothing more either.
Finally I realize my thoughts are distracting me and the silence breaks.
"Ugh, you know what... I'm wicked sorry about earlier." She huffs out in a hushed tone, pouting out her bottom lip momentarily before hugging her arms around her stomach. "I just thought something must have been wrong with you because you're just acting so different, really not yourself at all today, but maybe I was overreacting. I know you care about me and I care abut you too. I'm being such a mega bitch, aren't I? Don't even answer that. I know that I am. And you are too just a little bit but at least we have a reason for it so we can't be mad at each other. Being a girl blows."
My world comes halting to a dead stop in the matter of seconds. I stare at Natalie in an ery silence while swallowing hard as my heart accelerates and my breathing becomes shallow. I've never been so nervous in my entire twenty-one years of living on this earth. "Being a girl..." I anxiously respond while staring straight into her eyes. "What?"
"Well, obviously. It's not like having your period is a joyful time of the month." She sarcastically mumbles under her breath. Natalie begins rolling her eyes at me in slight frustration until she notices all of the color has just drained from my face. Now, she frowns. "Oh, no."
"Sasha... You do have your period, right?"
"What?" I softly repeat myself although this time in a whisper and there's barely any sound to my shaky voice. Time has stopped along with my whole world. The room begins to spin. Goosebumps rise on every surface of my skin from the burst of fear that has taken over me. I rest my back against the doorframe so I keep myself from falling over if I were to unexpectedly faint from the shock of this terrifying realization. "No," I whisper.
"Sasha. We get our period the same exact day, every single month, barely not even off by an hour. It's been this way ever since we started living together three years ago. Are you not paying attention to the date? Sash... I got it yesterday. I have my period right now. You're not-"
Before she can finish her sentence, I speak over her. "No, I can't be."
Everything makes its way into my mind at once, every single thought flooding through my head at such an intense pace that it literally knocks the wind out of me. I find it a struggle to breathe. I'm the kind of girl who gets her period on the third of every month, the same exact day Natalie gets hers, and it's been this way ever since I have known her.
Not once have I ever been late because I used a condom with every client I've ever been with, no chance of me ever getting knocked up. Not once have I ever not used protection. But suddenly, I think back to one specific moment that I want desperately to push away at a time like this, a memory I'd rather block out and not think about. The first time Jaxon and I had sex, on his jet, without a condom. Without protection.
And reality hits me hard like an out of control speeding freight train once I truly understand what is happing right now, the world falling apart and time stopping situation I'm now in. There's only one thing I'm able to wrap my head around. There's only one thought that is on my mind. There's only one thing that I am absolutely positive about right at this very second.
My period is late and I could be pregnant... With my Dominant's baby.