The end part of the last chapter didn't fit because I guess I reached the limit for the chapter!
So, I'll be taking it where I left off from there and pasting the end of which couldn't fit right here.
Thank you for your support! Enjoy. :)
He shakes his head and faces his back towards me while walking towards the blank wall and leaning his hand against it, as I watch him as quietly as possible. Finally, he breaks the silence and sharply exhales a deep breath before very slightly shaking his head.
"Go take a shower while I finish eating." Jaxon sternly
directs me and I walk past him and over to the doorway, doing
exactly what I am told to do and obeying his order.
And I immediately leave the playroom completely naked and I head for the shower. After I have finished showering and I change into a silky white nightgown I make my way back downstairs and can't seem to find Jaxon anywhere, until I notice that the back door is wide open and at first it strikes me as odd. I walk towards the doorway and step outside into the darkness and I spot Mr. Edwards standing out in the near distance maybe ten feet away from me, and whether or not he senses my unexpected presence I just don't know.
Finally, I can't take being quiet and invisible any longer. "Excuse me," I carefully say, and within a simple nanosecond he has turned around and locked his gaze right on me, taking in my image for a moment before he answers.
"Yes?" Is all he lets out, sounding flat and monotone.
"I was wondering if you need me for anything or if I can go to sleep now, Master."
"Jaxon," He instantly rushes out, running his fingers through his messy wet hair and the glorious sight of him shirtless in frotn of me makes all of the hair on my body rise. "Just call me Jaxon right now. No, you know what, call me whatever you want, I don't care, whatever you want to call me is fine but only if we're not in my playroom. In there it's Master."
Once that statement is released from his mouth I can't help but stand here in shock, entirely confused with everything he has just said because it came out so fast and unexpectedly. But I allow it to process in my brain and eventually I nod in response, swallowing hard.
"Master makes me more comfortable," I dare to say, silencing myself once his eyes widen and he looks at me as if I have completely lost my mind.
"What are you talking about? Calling me master makes you feel more comfortable all of the sudden?" He sharply exhales, demanding for me to answer him as he darts towards me and stops once his face is only inches away from mine. "Where is this coming from?"
"I'm giving you honesty-"
"No, what you're giving me is complete shit!" He shouts, snapping at me and becoming filled with rage but all I can do is stand here helplessly in silence. "You know what, fine. Master is good. Call me whatever you want, do whatever you want. No, just go to bed. Okay? There's your answer. You can go to sleep. I don't need anything more from you tonight. That is what you wanted to have, right? My permission to fucking sleep?"
I stare deep into his eyes before gasping for a desperate breath, "Yes."
He gazes down at my face now in what looks like disgust, and it tears at my heart in a way until I push it to the side. Jaxon bites his lucisous bottom lip before pressing his mouth in a firm straight line, and as soon as he shakes his head is when he swiftly turns on his heel and he begins to walk away from where I happen to still be standing.
"What do you want from me?" I get the courage to ask him, and he takes me by surprise the second he halts himself to a dead stop.
All I am able to hear at this very moment is the sound of the wind, crickets chirping, and the sound of my uneven breathing. I feel like time has stopped and nothing around us matters anymore, and I'm consumed with pure confusion and guilt, because in all honesty here, I don't feel anything for him anymore. I don't feel anything at all. All I am inside is empty, and it's hard for me to admit it to myself that I'm perfectly okay with that. In reality I know for a fact that I am much better off this way and all I want to do is stay blocked like this forever.
Jaxon immediately turns around, locks his eyes with mine even though we're so far away from each other, and he says something that leaves me speechless. "I don't know," Is all he says to me before he turns away from me once more.
He remains motionless and silent and with that I make my way back into the house. As soon as I'm in my room and ready to go to sleep, I turn off the light and make myself as comfortable as I can while I snuggle up in the soft satin covers. My mind is finally shut down and I'm finally at peace with myself when suddenly a gentle knock on my door unexpectedly pulls me out of it. I sit up and wait to hear something else, but there's just another small knock as I rush to my feet. After I walk to the wall and turn on the light nothing but suspense is rushing through my body, and the moment I open the door and glance up is when I see Jaxon stands before me.
He's staring down and studying at something in his hand, and immediately I happen to glance down at it to try to figure out what it is but it's difficult because he's moving it around in his palm. Finally he gazes at my innocent and confused expression that has entirely crossed my face, and without saying anything he holds the object out between us.
"Here," Jaxon breathes out, looking over every inch of my face. "I got this today when I was out and I didn't get a chance to show it to you. I'm a man and I tried my best to pick out something I thought you'd want. I hope you like it." He becomes silent and the second I hold out my hand and he places it onto my palm is when I realize it's a small velvet box, and I can't hold back the reaction of my dramatic gasp that escapes from my parted lips. Before I can say a single word he stops me by staring emotionally into my eyes. "Goodnight, Sasha."
And in a split second, he walks away and heads down the hall, leaving me standing silently in my doorway in a state of pure awe. I've never been so terrified to open a gift in my life and the moment I close my door and sit down on my bed is when fear overtakes me almost entirely. Finally I unthinkingly open the box and inside rests the most beautiful ring I have ever seen.
The engagement ring my eyes are locked on is one of the most amazing and beautiful rings I have ever seen in my entire life. The amount of shock I have just been thrown into is an unbeilevable amount and it's almost impossible for me to make one single movement. This has to be one of the biggest diamonds I've ever seen in real life and up close before, and this fact just pushes me into another wave of complete shock and awe. It's ovel shaped with one corner shaped into a point, so it is such a unique design that I didn't even know exists. There's small sparkly diamonds outlining the edges of the huge diamond in the center and instead of it being a regular color one, it happens to be a gorgeous pink color. An amazing pink diamond.
Without even hesitating for another second I reach in and ever so slowly take it out of the placement in the small velvet box, while I hold the ring gently between my fingers to get a better view of it. It's so shiny and bright, and there's so many small diamonds surrounding the big one in the center and they even happen to be on the band as well. All that I can really think about at a time like this is how expensive this much have been. From how huge and heavy it is I can easily tell that this engagement ring must have costed him a fortune.
But this man has it all, doesn't he? He can have anything he wants in life while other people struggle to make it through each and every day. Gulping and releasing a long and anxious breath, I turn it around in my fingers and examine every inch of it and the more I stare at it's beauty is the more I become filled with confusion. The truth of the matter is, Jaxon didn't have to go all out and buy me such a pricey and huge ring. This is all just one big lie and yet he happens to put so much into it just so I have something to show his family? I can't wrap my head around this.
I've never been so puzzled and at loss for words in my life, and I hate the fact that he has just given me this right before I was about to go to sleep. We had such a long day and he just beat me senseless with a belt, and then he has the nerve to knock on my door and hand me this box? What can possibly be going on between us right now? Nothing... nothing at all.
There is the answer to my question. He's given me the fake engagement ring and that's basically all there is to it in reality here. Jaxon Edwards has made it clear he wanted the perfect Submissive and I've come to terms with it, and I'm trying to be want he wants as best as I can. I want to please him the time I am here and I never want to go through another one of those cruel and tormenting punishments ever again, so it's actually a great thing that my emotions cease to exist.
Without thinking it through, I push the ring back into the slit in the box and I firmly snap the lid closed before I hold it in my hand and staring down at it in nothing but serenity. Jaxon went out today and purchased this ring and has given it to me when I least expected it, but I can not let this mess with my head any longer. It shouldn't mean anything to me that he has done this. It shouldn't mean anything that he came to my door before knocking without invading my privacy. It shouldn't matter that he has given me this ring as soon as I was about to fall asleep.
But the truth of the matter is. . . I think it does.
It does matter somewhere deep down but accessing those thoughts and feelings would just make everything so much worse than it already is so I have to fight through it and push my emotions and further away into the back of my head. I immediately rush to my feet and walk to the wall, turning off the light before crawling back into bed and snuggling up under the covers. My eyes close and it isn't long before I clear my mind and I'm finally relaxed, before I drift off into a deep sleep with the small black velvet box tightly squeezed in the palm of my hand.
A loud and frightening boom sound awakens me from my peaceful dream, causing a terrified gasp to come from my lips as I shoot my gaze onto my door, thinking that's must be here it has come from. But seconds pass by and the longer I wait, the more I know that this isn't the case. I glance over to the alarm clock and realize it is past three o'clock in the morning, so I've been sleeping for the past few hours. The bang was so loud and scary that all I want to do is go and figure out what it was, because what if someone has broken into this house?
I glance to the side on the pillow beside mine only to spot the box to the ring resting motionlessly against it but I don't give it anymore thought before I quickly rush over to the door. Once I've opened it and stuck my head out of the doorway to stare into the hallway is when I notice it's empty, so I make my way to the staircase and slowly walk down all the stairs.
Immediately I'm able to hear sounds coming from the living room so I walk towards the doorway and the second I stand between it and look into the room is when my gaze sets right onto Jaxon. He's standing near the fireplace as the flames wildly form in an erotic dance before he turns around as fast as ever and notices my appearence, and I hold my breath in suspense.
"Oh, look who it is." His voice sends a wave of confusion through my head from the playful but yet sarcastic tone he is using, and once he wobbles to the side on his feet is the moment I come to understand that he must have been drinking. "Little slave girl. I like that name, huh? It has a nice ring to it. Slave girl, you know, like you're a female superhero or something."
"You're drunk." I anxiously tell him, although it sounds much more like a question than a statement. Shaking my head and slowly walking into the room is when he picks up his glass from the table and takes a long sip of his drink, which happens to be whiskey.
"Drunk? Me, intoxicated?" He questions, pointing to himself with his thumb and giving me a very serious stare before a quiet chuckle comes from his mouth and he shrugs. "Okay okay, fuck. You got me there. Maybe just a little drunk. Although tipsey is more like it."
"Alright... What was that loud sound?" I softly question, glancing around the room and not seeing anything out of the ordinary so I'm nothing but very lost and puzzled. Our eyes meet as he takes another sip from the glass, placing it hard on the table as some manages to pour out in a small splash on the area around it, before he cautiously approaches me.
"I got angry," He blankly answers, shrugging afterwards.
"Does it even matter to you anymore?" He turns our decent conversation around entirely and I find it almost impossible to answer him. Jaxon stares over at me and his gaze does not leave my face with confusion written all over it, because none of this is making sense to me. "And the answer is, no. Clearly," He mumbles, rolling his eyes before sharply exhaling.
"You must have broken something. The boom was really loud..."
"What happened to calling me Master, Sasha?" He suddenly asks, cutting me off from speaking and narrowing his eyes but there's not one ounce of danger or threat behind them which leaves me speechless. "You know, even though I'm surely wasted, that does not give you permission to not act like the adorable little Sub of mine... that you're truly becoming quite good at, by the way. Master this, master that. Can I brush my teeth, Master, brush my hair? Can I go to the bathroom? Master, can I go to sleep? You actually asked me to fucking sleep. Ha! Unbelievable."
He's only feet away from me as he stumbles to the side for a moment, thankfully catching his fall by holding onto the back of the couch and keeping him upright before shooting a blank stare over to my worried face. I release the deep breath I've been holding in for a while now and I shake my head, no longer wanting to drag this confrontation out anymore.
"I think it's time for you to get to bed." I quietly suggest, before he pushes himself away from the couch and comes at me, causing me to jump back in reaction before he cocks his head to the side and gives me a strange new look on his drunken face.
"Now you're telling me what to do?" Jaxon sharply asks, letting out another chuckle with no humor intended before his smirk disappears and a frown overtakes every inch of his face. Very slowly he shakes his head from side to side, glaring at me before a slight smirk plays at his full lips, and I find myself holding in a deep breath from being so anxious. "That, my little slave girl, I mean Sasha, of course, is not such a great idea. You know, that's kind of my job in this Dom and Sub relationship thing we have going on here. I give you orders and you obey them. Got me, baby girl?"
"Baby girl?" I question, barely any sound to my voice.
"Oh, oh that's right. You'd probably rather slave girl considering you just so happen to feel better addressing me as Master," He rudely mumbles, obviously trying to be funny but it's not.
"What did you break, Master?" I nervously breathe out.
"Ugh, fuck, there it is again." He sarcastically mumbles in a sharp breath.
Then he turns around and motions his hand over to the side of the room where a tall bookshelf has been pushed over and is lying on its side. How on earth did I not notice this the moment I stepped into the living room? It's very noticeable. Clearly, my head is in the clouds. Novels are spread out everywhere around the wooden bookshelf. some lying closed and some wide opened on the floor. The moment I begin to walk over towards the spot is when he wraps his fingers around my wrist and stops me, causing a hissing sound to come from my mouth in response.
"Nah, just leave it alone." He calmly states to me and I swallow hard while biting anxiously on my bottom lip. "Tell me, Sasha, why did you come down here again? To chat or..."
I softly sigh and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear before he losens his grip on my wrists, although still not letting me go. "I came down here to see what the loud bang was. It woke me up from my sleep and I was worried about--" Immediately, I stop myself and become silent.
His eyes light up with amusement before he crookedly grins, giving me a playful smirk before finally letting go of my hand as I rub my wrist afterwards. "Hm, so you were worried about me, ay? That's pretty strange... considering you have no emotions. It looks like deep down in that fucked up little heart of yours you do happen to care about someone. Me, that is."
My heart fucked up? Wow, he clearly shouldn't be talking considering there's not one loving and caring bone in his body. "I thought someone broke into the house and that's what I was worried about, Master." I try my best to sound confident before his grin changes over to a cold grimace, and within a simple second his hands are on my waist and he's pulling me against him, leaving me as clueless as ever. "What're you doing?"
"Tell me that you care. Tell, just tell me that you still care." He drunkenly slurs his words, throwing back his head and widening his big blue eyes as I anxiously keep mine locked with his. "Do it, Sasha! Tell me that you care, now. Right this instant."
"Tell you that I care about what?" I question in a hushed mutter.
Now he scowls at me before setting his jaw and clenching it hard, giving me a very bold glare and even though he's intoxicated it really happens to strike me with some fear. Until he releases me when I least expect it and takes his time backing up, not daring to break our intense but confusing eye contact before he becomes as still as a statue.
"You know what? Nevermind. Forget it," He cautiously states, actually scaring me once I see the look of pure anger spread across every inch of his face. "Yeah, just forget it."
Jaxon slightly stumbles on his feet as he takes his cup and chugs the rest of the liquor in it with one sip, before out of nowhere he turns sideways and throws his glass into the fireplace. Instantly it shatters and almost all of the pieces fall into the scorching hot flames, the few drips of the whiskey sizzling for a few seconds while my heart pounds hard and fast inside my chest. I couldn't help but cover my mouth with my now shaking hand just because of this sudden outburst of rage he has just shown me, and the moment he turns his head and his eyes lock with mine is when I have absolutely no clue on what I should possibly do right now.
Once I'm able to get the words out I whisper, "Are you alright?"
He carelessly shrugs and nods his head. "Yeah yeah," Jaxon answers me in a snort.
"Master... Are you sure you don't want to just go to sleep? Maybe sleeping it off will help." I instantly rush out to him, sounding as obedient as I can and he walks over to me, leaving me gasping for air until the second he manages to walk past me.
"I'm going to my room, Sasha. I'll be fine. Go, you can just go back to sleep."
The moment I turn around to watch him making his way towards the doorway is when he takes me by complete surprise and falls to the side, and I race over to him as I gently grab his upper arm. I pull it up around my shoulder and firmly hold onto his wide wrist in the tightest grasp that my muscles allow, and once I glance up is when our eyes meet and he doesn't say a word.
"I'll help you," I softly offer to him, but he immediately shakes his head in protest.
"No, I'm fine. I'm a big boy, I'm perfectly capable of walking by myself." Jaxon mumbles under his breath to me, as we begin to walk forward and he loses his balence and puts nearly all of his weight onto me. I crash into the wall and fortunately it doesn't hurt too much, and now is when I can smell the strong scent of alcohol in his breath so I know he must have been drinking for an extremely long time.
I softly say to him, "Just let me help you."
"Fine..." He grunts out, deeply exhaling once again. "Sorry."
I stare at his face in a moment of stunned awe simply because he has just apologized to me and I am obviously not used to him acting this way and having manors. Nodding my head but unable to speak anymore at this point we slowly take our time walking through the long hallway before we reach his door and as soon as I open it my mouth drops wide open. It's so large and roomy in here and everything about it is absolutely insaine.
The ceiling is very high and all he really has in here is his dressers, nightstands, and bed, which makes it seem very plain. I get a sense of lonliness and sadness in here and it's a very overwhelming feeling which confuses me, but I let it go so I can get Jaxon across the room without him falling. Finally we reach his bed and I lift his arm from off of my shoulder and I guide him to the bed while he falls down onto the covers and rests motionless on his back.
"Ah, fuck. I can already feel a migraine coming on..." He groans, rubbing his eyes with his fists before slightly opening them to look into mine.
I softly assure him, "I'll be here with advil in the morning when you wake up, Master."
"Now that would be awesome. You could even make me breakfast while you're at it, and coffee. I expect for all of these to be done by the time I wake up, my little slave girl. Understood?"
"Yes," I carefully say in a light whisper. "Understood. Goodnight, Master."
Right before I can even get the chance to turn around to walk away from him is when he gently grabs hold of my hand and yanks me to a dead stop. Our eyes connect and even though it's silent I feel like our gazes are communcating for us and like so much is being said. Jaxon's face softens and he seems to be so vulnerable looking right now. This man is so entirely wasted right now and he most definitely needs sleep. His scorching sky blue eyes are gazing so deeply into mine that I feel as if I'm floating on nothing but air, and there's something really unique and foreign about the new looks hes giving me that doesn't make much a sense to me.
What he says next makes my heart nearly skip a beat. "Where, where are you going?" He breathes, slurring his words a bit but his tone sounds so innocent and child-like that it immediately pushes me into a state of shock.
"To my room, Master." I sterly inform him, anxiously staring down at him lying on his bed as he slowly and cautiously shakes his head in response to my answer. "To fall back to sleep. Where would you like for me to go? I don't understand..."
"I want you to lie down with me." He says so fast and with so much assurance that it makes me breathless and at loss for words, because I've never been this confused before. He's so all over the place and him being drunk seems to make it so much worse. "Lay next to me, Sasha. Do not fall asleep. I want you to stay here, stay until I'm sleeping. And, I want you to leave once I'm asleep. I just want you here with me right now."
He tightens his fingers on my arm and tugs on me as I nod in return, doing exactly what he says so I will not get in trouble for disobeying him. I crawl onto his bed and lie beside him while not moving a single muscle in my body, before Jaxon takes my wrists and moves me much closer to him so the side of my body is pressing against his. I happen to momentarily glance at his face only to notice that his eyes are closed and he looks very rested now, and as soon as my mind begins to wonder is when I feel him gently take hold of my hand.
His long lean fingers push through mine and our fingers are linked together, his thumb lightly tracing patters into my skin as my breathing picks up. Before I can even make sense of it in the simple blink of an eye my Master has rolled onto his side and is now suddenly holding me against his warm and bare chest, his muscular arms wrapped around my body. I find myself no longer breathing the second he brushes his hand through my hair and comforts me in a way I didn't think he even knew how to, and it stuns me because I actually feel warmth right now.
Jaxon stays silent, letting out a small breath before he says something that stops my whole world. "I love you." These three words leave his mouth and my heart drops deep into my stomach, my heart pounding rapidly in my chest, and I can't breathe due to the crazy and unwanted emotions that are now suddenly beginnings to make their way through me. He loves me. Jaxon Edwards loves me. Jaxon is in love with me? How can this be? How am I supposed to feel about this? Until the unexpected happens and everything changes in the blink of an eye. "...Marnie."
Time stops as his last word registers in my brain and finally I come crashing back into reality at full speed. So many uncontrollable and confusing thoughts flow through and overtake my mind. All I can focus on is the fact that Jaxon has just called me another woman's name.