Only a couple days to the damn midsummer's gala and I already wanted it over. Mom is trying me and Dad frigging crazy with all these meetings and complaining all the time about some of the other women not pulling their weight.
Honestly I don't know why she hangs out with some of these hags so much. I grew up with some of their daughters and so I know more about them than I'd ever want to know. That included how they gossiped about my mom, making up these lies about her because she didn't play around like they did. Angela, Sonia and the others married to men who ran this town and yet…if half of what I heard was true then marriage didn't mean a hell of a lot in this town.
I mean look at my dad. I'd caught him red handed with that tramp and I didn't want to hurt my mom so I didn't tell her. But part of me wondered if it'd been the first time he'd cheated on her. Were there other times that I had missed, after all it's not like I paid attention to what my parents were doing. Life was complicated enough.
Ruby and I had scheduled appointments at the hair salon and spa to get fixed up for the gala. She'd be taking Brock of course and me, Lars. He had grumbled about it a bit but had agreed to wear a tux after I reminded him that we could cut out at any time and head up to the suite. My belly did flops as I thought about that. Lars was so damn hot, much more so than Chad and the others. Even better than…but I had put that chapter of my life out of my mind forever. I'd been young and stupid and it'd taken me a while to figure out.
Sometimes I'd wonder if I'd ever see them again but it'd been over a year with no sign that they existed anywhere besides my memory.
Mom stuck her head in the room where I sat watching TV or pretending to because I was hoping that Lars would call me soon to hook up tonight. How pathetic was that? But anyway, my body hummed because all I could think about was how much I wanted to fuck him. Seriously if he walked into the room right now, I'd shoo my mom out and I'd be on him so fast.
"You are going out later this afternoon?"
"No Ruby's coming on over," I said, "She's working now."
My mom just nodded and went back into the kitchen looking less stressed out than she had earlier. I know she fantasized about killing Angela and Sonia even though she'd never say it let alone do it. I knew enough about her past to know that when she'd been in high school, she'd been the prettiest girl and even before my dad was in the picture; she'd been popular with guys…so much so that harpies like Angela and Sonia made her life miserable.
They still tried to do that but my mom just let it'd slide. I wish she'd just slap them down at least once but I knew it'd never happen. I knew what that'd been like because I lied to everyone about breaking my cherry a year or so before I'd even done it. But I hadn't wanted to be the last girl in my class stuck with her V card. No, that didn't work for me and it hadn't been that hard to make it all off. And then when it happened…I couldn't tell anyone about it because they'd never believe the truth. It made my face flush to remember what had happened one week when I'd been done with high school and feeling restless in more ways than one. I knew how Ruby felt when she'd wanted to get it on this summer and thank god, she found Brock to fill her bed. Not the guy I'd pick out for her because he's like my dad's age but it kept her from driving me crazy this summer.
Mom stuck her head in again.
I smiled and soon enough Ruby walked in wearing her faded jeans and tee-shirt that she'd worn at work. She plopped down on the other sofa.
"How'd your day go?"
She made a face.
"Huge crowd because everything was on sale," she said, "before the autumn plants come in."
A reminder that not much of summer remained, less than a month before the seasons changed and we'd be heading back to school. Back to life away from town and the two men we'd fucked to keep busy.
"He's in his office…driving his receptionist crazy because he's hardly there."
Not like my dad who was there right now, being such a workaholic. The two men who had once been best friends seemed so different from one another.
"My dad says he's thinking about quitting."
"I don't know about that…he's thinking about doing other things," she said, "He thinks about family a lot and maybe when Caroline returns…"
"Yeah well, you knew that'd happen and you'll be back at school anyway. Plenty of guys to fuck there you know."
"Yeah but it's been great being with him this summer," she said, "And not just because he's so damn hot but I like hanging with him just to talk."
I didn't know much about that because Lars and I didn't talk that much. I liked the silent type and all we did when we saw each other was either fuck or suck each other off. I didn't want more than that because hey, summer's only three months and then it's over. But Ruby's eyes changed when she mentioned talking with Brock and I thought…she's just setting herself up for a world of pain if she thinks that Brock is serious about anything but nailing her young body.
"You know he's got that girlfriend."
"Yeah…but she might be staying in London longer."
I put my feet up on the coffee table to get ready to explain to her a few facts of life.
"You know he's not serious about his women," I said, "Guys like him are fun and sexy as hell but that's all you can expect from them."
"I know that," she said sounding a tad defensive, "but Brock's looking for family I think…"
"He tell you that?"
"He told me something that happened in the past," she said, "that he thought he might have a kid but he's not sure about it."
My eyes widened slightly but was it a big surprise? A guy who got around like Brock did with an assortment of women all eager to get their hands on him and his cock inside of them? When I saw him about town, women always looked at him as they wanted him more than anything during that instant but it always faded when reality clocked back in again. Caroline was fooling herself if she thought she could hold onto him. After all he'd been fucking Ruby all summer behind her back, not seeming worried she'd find out about it.
Ruby couldn't depend on a guy like that who'd hurt anyone who thought they could get close enough to figure him out and try to change him. Guys like that couldn't be changed; all they could do was break a woman's heart if she had one.
But if he did have a kid, that would be pretty wild if it turned up suddenly? Might liven up this town a bit if that turned out to be true…
"So is he going to try to find out if it's true?"
"I don't know. He seemed torn about it. You know disrupting someone's life who might be better off not knowing."
"Would it be better to be living a lie," I said, "I mean doesn't a child have a right to know? I mean my parents…well they'd always be that to me but I'd want to know where I came from."
"I always knew at least part of it," she said, "I still don't know who my daddy is and my mom won't tell me. I don't much to even start looking…I don't know maybe he's a horrible person who did bad things…maybe he's someone too normal for my mom…"
I knew that Ruby had a bitch of a time growing up with her loser mama who picked her way through most of the town's losers. But the one now…he'd been in and out of her life and Ruby's and he hadn't been from here like the others. He'd probably be a loser like the rest of her mom's lovers. No, likely she was better off not knowing him.
"He's just gone Ruby," I said instead, "Maybe he had another family somewhere he couldn't leave."
"I figure that…I wish it'd just be my mom and me now," she said, "God, I hate it when there's a man in the house…Dirk…"
But her voice faded though I knew her memories didn't, because I knew back when she'd come to stay with me because of him. That time, it'd been a while before she went back home.
"Brock would be a good father," she said, "I knew that when I thought I was pregnant. He was great about it. Said he'd be there no matter what…"
"Maybe he meant it but I'm sure he was relieved when it was all nothing."
"Perhaps…but I know that he'd been in love before…and something happened," she said, "Got his heart broken."
"Happens to all of us," I said, "I'm not letting it ever happen again to me."
I meant that and that's why I kept it all casual with men. Nothing serious, no way to get hurt. Ruby would have to learn that too and if she wasn't careful, Brock would teach it to her.
But as it turned out I had my own lessons to learn.