I hate it…I hate the waiting."
Tiffany and I had sat by the pool on the hot afternoon, waiting for that doctor to call me with my test results.
"Shouldn't be much longer," she said, "Test doesn't take that long."
"It went to a lab and I guess they have to wait until they send them the results."
It seemed like forever already, definitely the longest time that I could remember. I'd run through everything in my head. All the scenarios….they just flashed in front of me over and over no matter what I did to try to forget. I saw myself being told I wasn't pregnant and breathing a sigh of relief with my entire body.
But more often I saw myself getting the news that I was definitely pregnant and then the images quickened in earnest. Pictures of myself in the future struggling to finish my degree program let alone even consider going to grad school. I didn't want to end up like my mom having my life shut down by a baby.
"Aren't you anxious to know the results?"
Well yeah, but I didn't know if I was ready to hear the news that might change my life forever. Or to sit in a doctor's office and discuss my options.
"Yeah of course but I got to wait until I know for sure."
That seemed to stop Tiffany's chatter for a moment and both of us looked up to see Gloria walking towards us with a pitcher of iced tea and more nachos. I marveled at her for all she did to make sure we were well fed and watered and having a good time like a hostess. My mother was either MIA the few times I'd brought friends over or worse, she tried too hard to win their approval with half remembered, half made up stories from her own teenaged years.
"You alright here…?"
"Sure…we're just chilling here for a while and then we might go shopping."
Gloria put the food and drink on the table before us.
"That sounds like a plan," she said, "I got to head on out to meet with some caterers for the ball."
She had been spending most of her time at meetings related to that event which she had decided would be the best of all the midsummer balls.
"I might be back later," Tiffany said, "Lars…my boyfriend wants to head to the to hear the jazz band."
Gloria's brows knit.
"Yeah mom, I told you I was seeing someone knew," Tiffany said, "Chad and me are history."
"I'm not unhappy about that. I think your father was right to be concerned about him," she said, "But is this Lars…nice?"
Tiffany just looked at me. I knew that anything nice bored her and she wanted naughty. Lars gave her that in spades but her mother didn't need to know.
"Yes mom. He's very nice…"
Tiffany would roll her eyes if her mother wouldn't catch her at it. She'd been less willing to push her buttons since what happened with Devlin and Megan.
"That's what matters Tiffany," he said "Well your father and I would like to meet him. Maybe you could invite him for dinner?"
Tiffany froze a moment and I knew what she was thinking. What her mother would think if she knew that her boyfriend wasn't only into nice, he was into kink. Tiffany loved men who tied her up or handcuffed her to a chair or bed.
She had a father who loved doing that to the women he took to bed. I wondered if Gloria knew her husband liked to treat women that way. That just the idea of tying me up inside the cabin and fucking me on the bed made him go rock hard.
Or maybe he kept that side of himself apart from his life with her. A secret that he kept under wraps and saved for his other women….so he wouldn't have to show that side of him to his wife.
But now Gloria, she just smiled at us as if all was right. That her daughter had found a boyfriend who she could bring home to dinner to meet the parents.
"I'll…I'll think about it mom."
Tiffany didn't sound too thrilled but if her mom noticed, she didn't let on. She just nodded and took the dirty dishes back to the kitchen.
"Oh my god…my mom can be such a trip sometimes."
"She takes good care of you," I said, "My mom never did that…I was always so embarrassed to bring friends home."
Tiffany picked up a nacho chip dripping with cheese.
"Yeah I know, it took you forever just to let me come home with you back in school."
After once or twice, Tiffany no longer bothered me about visiting my house but stuck to inviting me to hers. It made life easier and her mom proved to be so much nicer than what I had at town.
Tiffany never had to feel ashamed of her.
"Where's your mom anyway?"
"I don't know…probably Vegas with what's his name."
Tiffany sipped her tea and looked at her phone.
"God this is taking forever," she said, "Maybe we should just go shopping and kill some more time."
Then the door opened and I saw Devlin dressed in his black swimming trunks and wrapping a towel over his shoulders.
"Hi girls…thought I'd grab a swim after a day's work," he said, "Water nice?"
"Perfect…Ruby and I swam earlier."
He seemed to process that and dropped the towel on a chair exposing his impressive chest. The one I'd felt pressed hard against my breasts so many times, the one my tongue had tasted as I worked my way down to his erection.
Damn he looked fine and a part of me remembered what it'd been like to be with him but I sobered up quickly. He wasn't just the man I'd fucked; he might be the one who'd gotten me pregnant. I glanced towards my phone on the table but it remained silent. I looked back at him and saw his eyes focused on me.
"Want to take a dip?"
I blinked my eyes. What did he just ask?
"Um…no like Tiffany said, we swam earlier…and it's great."
He nodded again.
"Fine...but if you change your mind…"
"Dad, we're about to head out to the mall anyway."
Tiffany snorted at her father.
"Well yeah, I still need to find just the right shoes for the ball."
"I thought you'd say that," he said, "what's wrong with the ones you bought last week?"
She gave him a pointed look.
"Those aren't party shoes," she said, "They're club shoes."
I saw a glimmer in her eye and I knew then, she was playing him. She was milking him to give her what she wanted since she'd been so upset about Megan.
"Okay…but don't break my card."
She rolled her eyes at him.
"I won't daddy…I'm always careful."
He walked over to the pool and dove right in, slicing into the water so cleanly. I watched him but then remembered I wasn't alone.
Then the phone rang. Tiffany just looked at me.
"Well, pick it up girl," she said, "Inquiring minds want to know."
I put one hand on my hip.
"Tiffany no one's ever going to know understand?"
She looked exasperated.
"I know…well don't wait all day."
So I picked up the phone and just listened while the nurse on the phone spoke to me. I just stood there listening, a captive audience. When she gave me the results, I almost missed them at first.
Then I sighed in relief, so deep I didn't know how long I'd been holding it inside me.
Then a shadow hit me and I looked up to see that Devlin had gotten out of the pool dripping wet and had grabbed his towel to dry himself.
I clicked off the phone and Tiffany started to ask but I shook my head slightly. Devlin sat down on the chair picking up a magazine that had been left there. I sat down in my own chair unable to stand.
"Sounds like good news."
I looked up at him and he smiled at me in a way that I knew wasn't harmless.
"Yes…it's about school."
He'd never know the truth about what almost happened. Tiffany glanced over at me.
"It is good news isn't it?"
I glared at her while stretching my arms.
"Yes it is Tiffany…you know how much I've wanted that on campus job this fall."
She smiled and jumped out of her chair.
"I'll go get some of my mom's fresh cookies," she said, "We can celebrate."
I watched her go because I didn't want to look at him. But he didn't let that get in the way of what he wanted.
"Ruby just stop this…"
"You know you want it," he said, "You want me to take you to that cabana and fuck you."
I shook my head.
"God Tiffany's only gone for a moment," I said, "You'd risk it."
"We were going at it when she was out there with Chad."
I looked down at my hands. Part of me wanted to run them over that chest of his just before I slipped them inside his swimsuit and wrapped my fingers around him. Feeling him grow hard in my hand before I released him from the confinement….but it wasn't enough anymore. Most of me wanted him to stay away from me.
"Devlin…I can't do it. I told you I couldn't…it's too risky and I don't want to hurt her."
He shook his head.
"She'd never know," he said, "Do you think I'd hurt my own daughter?"
I grew exasperated at his selective memory.
"Devlin you did that already at the beach."
He didn't respond to that because what could he say? His daughter had caught him with Megan after he'd just done her.
"She doesn't know about us."
"She won't know because it's finished Devlin."
He didn't like that, I knew he didn't but it was my choice what I wanted to do with him or not. Damn it was so hard sometimes not to crave what he'd given me but I wasn't going to be my mother.
Besides the news that I wasn't pregnant made me feel I had a second chance not to screw up. I wouldn't get back into his bed.
I knew I wouldn't, that I'd be strong enough to stay away. I took one look at him and I got up to go look for Tiffany in the house.
I felt him watching me intently as I left. If only I knew what he'd been thinking.