I sighed as I lay in Brock's embrace after we had just gotten down and dirty on his bed. I'd done a strip tease in front of him, removing each item of clothing one at a time. Dancing to the rhythm of the song on the radio, I dared him to look away from me.
Finally when I'd been down to her red lacy bra and panties, he'd broken his stance and had grabbed me to toss on the bed while he removed his own clothes. I watched as he unveiled his very impressive body, hardened by his work and joined me on the bed.
It took him seconds to thrust inside my wetness, we'd both wanted it fast after I'd spent the night at the restaurant teasing him underneath the table. After he came inside me, I felt his weight press me against the mattress until he rolled over next to me.
"God that was something Ruby," he said, "but then it's like that with you."
I lay there silently because it was hard to keep my mind on him and what we were doing. All I could think about the past day or so was that I'd have to go to the doctor to find out if my period was late for a reason. I still thought it must be related to the heat or the stress, I just couldn't believe that a solid BC like the pill could let me down.
"I got to get up early in the morning and leave again," he said, "There's plenty of eggs left in the refrigerator and some juice."
I smiled that he thought about me when getting ready to leave on business again. I'd miss him when he left though I'd never admit that to him. There was something as getting too dependent on a man that you'd be leaving in a month anyway. Caroline would return back into his life and his bed and I'd be back to college filled with some hot memories of my time with him.
God, I couldn't handle it if it were more than just memories. Having a baby? I couldn't even consider that not with the way I had my life mapped out. I had gotten the aid to finish college with a degree and then there'd be grad school, maybe even law school. I couldn't let anything stop me or slow me down and a baby would ruin all of my plans.
Worse, I'd end up like my mom who had slipped up and gotten herself pregnant with me. Her life had been on a much better track than it was now where all she did was exist between live in boyfriends while I took care of her. I knew that despite my wanting much better for myself, there were people in town who wanted, expected me to fail at it, being the daughter of the town tramp and all.
But I didn't want to wind up like her so I'd work so hard and had stayed away from any temptations, well at least until this summer.
Tiffany had given me a number to call to make a doctor appointment but I hadn't done it. Calling them up would be admitting that it could really happen, that I could really be pregnant. If I didn't call…then everything would be okay right? It sounded silly but I really believed that. God, I was too much like my mom sometimes.
"Ruby you feeling okay…?"
I narrowed my eyes looking into his face as we lay together.
"Shouldn't you be…I mean you're a woman after all."
I smiled not quite following him.
"Yes I am Brock. I'm all woman."
He chuckled at that as he reached out with one hand to caress one of my hips.
"That you are and that pussy of yours…"
He couldn't finish but I knew what he meant. He'd been singing its praises as he fucked me last night. Sweet, tight and damn it felt too good hugging his cock and all that.
"Brock…what you getting at?"
He hesitated again.
"You do get your period right?"
I frowned at him, thinking it strange that a guy would ask a question like that. I thought they shied away from that topic but then Brock wasn't like most men.
"Yeah I do…once a month why?"
"When's the last time you had it?"
Damn, someone had been paying attention. Had he been doing the math like I had been doing so much in the past few days?
"We ride bareback so I think I'd know if you had gotten it."
Irritation tinged my earlier calmness.
"Brock, do we really have to talk about my period? I don't feel…comfortable doing that with a guy."
"It's part of being with a guy," he said, "If you haven't gotten it and you're late…I want to know about it."
His voice sounded both coaxing and reproaching and I didn't know how much I liked either.
"You do know that Ruby?"
I bit off some choice words and picked better ones instead.
"I guess I do now Brock but really I can handle it."
"Handle what? I just asked you when you last had it."
Frustration began to brew inside me and some fear. After all, if Brock brought the topic up , it was harder for me to pretend it didn't exist. That a period that was a few days late meant nothing.
I finally just told him.
"I'm a few days…late but it doesn't mean anything at all. I've never been totally regular anyway."
He didn't say anything for a long moment and I didn't know how to react to that kind of silence. I knew he was thinking of himself as having gotten me pregnant even though it wasn't for sure yet. What kind of guy would be interested in finding out anyway? I don't think my own daddy had given a fuck that he'd knocked my mother up at least according to the account of it my mom had fed me all these years.
"Okay…so you take a test?"
I sighed, inching away from him. God, he was making me so damn uncomfortable and those dark eyes of his that probed my face as if I were sitting in an interrogation chair and not lying in bed with him.
"Yeah I did actually…but it didn't say anything either way."
"Then you need to see a doctor Ruby to know for sure."
My eyes widened and I wanted to push him away from me.
"Why Brock, so I can find out my whole future's shot? That I'll end up like my mom?"
He paused before reaching out to stroke my face softly.
"You'll never be your mother."
A thought struck me just then.
"Oh god, you didn't fuck her too did you?"
He shook his head.
"No I didn't Ruby. Our paths never crossed that way and I wouldn't have fucked her."
Some relief filled me but I still felt like running away from him. Even buck naked out the front door if I had to do it.
"Now back to that doctor's visit," he said, "Ruby you need to know and I need to know."
I shook my head at his nonsense.
"What would Caroline have to say if you knocked me up?"
He looked away a moment and I knew that question hit him hard. Damn, he really cares about her even though she took off for London and left him here.
"Caroline isn't the issue here…"
"How could she not be," I said, "I mean she's your real girlfriend right? I'm your fuck buddy I think it's called."
A hint of a smile appeared on his face.
"You're a bit more than that Ruby," he said, "Yes you're a hot piece of ass and I've enjoyed fucking you but I do care about you too."
I knew that. I didn't always like that he did but I knew he was being truthful.
"Whatever happens Ruby, I'll be there for you," he said, "We'll sit down and talk about it if there's a problem."
"You mean if I'm pregnant right?"
He paused, knowing how tricky the ground beneath him had become since he broached the topic.
"If you're pregnant with my baby, I'm not walking away from that and you. I know what that's like. I had it happen to me."
He hadn't really told me much about his early life and his own parents.
"My dad left my mom after she got pregnant," he said, "It's hard growing up without a father."
"Don't I know it," I said, "I don't even remember one and I think my mom makes up half of what she's told me."
He continued stroking my body in a way that meant to soothe more than titillated. But his sympathy just made me feel awful inside because I couldn't tell him the truth. That if I had gotten knocked up, it didn't make him the father. I'd been fucking Devlin too and it could be him that knocked me up.
"You ever have kids Brock?"
He paused for a long moment. That surprised me because I'd asked the question more to drop my line of thinking about Devlin.
"No…no I have no kids. I've thought about it more lately but my lifestyle, it's just not good for having a family. I'd want to be raising my kids not handing them off to someone else."
"So you and Caroline…"
"I don't know about that," he said, "Things weren't that great between us when she took the job in London."
I hadn't known that but I'd wondered why a woman who had this man in her bed would take off on him for several months.
"Oh…I don't know her at all only in passing."
"Yeah our lives are so different and we're both into our work," he said, "She hasn't decided if she's coming back at the end of the summer."
I didn't know what to say about that. Caroline had always been on my mind but I hadn't thought about what she might be like. It wasn't really my business anyway.
"Ruby you need to find out what's going on."
I sighed not wanting to look at him.
"Why…I've got the life I want all planned out," I said, "There's no room for a baby."
I saw the look on his face just then and I regretted my words. Oh I meant them but I didn't want to hurt him.
"I didn't mean it like that," I said, "It's just that I don't want my mom's life. I knew as long as I can remember."
He nodded but I don't know if he really understood me.
"Ruby like I told you, you're not her."
I didn't know if I believed him but it was nice for him to say it. Then his face changed.
"I was with a woman some years back," he said, "I really cared about her and for the first time…I thought what it'd be like to get with someone and have kids…to raise together."
"So why didn't you do it?"
He shifted on the bed.
"I was too young, too into my career and it's dangerous work," he said, "I couldn't do it if I thought about my family miles away. Besides, she was in love with someone else."
"Ah, I get it," I said, "but there are other women."
"Not like her…god the times we had together," he said, "I think I scared her with my intensity though her husband's like that himself."
"So did they have kids?"
"Yeah…she did and she seems very happy with her life."
"Are you happy Brock?"
He kissed my lips softly in response and then rolled me over on top of him. His body so hard beneath mine that I sucked in my breath…because what he did to me.
"I am…I'm having a lot of fun with you Ruby," he said, "I want you to tell me what happens with the doctor."
I found myself nodding even though I hadn't decided to make an appointment yet. But between him and Tiffany…I didn't think either would let up. So I kissed him harder on the mouth, one of my hands sliding to wrap around his girth, to ride his shaft with my hand.
I wanted him to focus on what I was doing to him now and forget the rest.