Amy and I strolled through the park, people watching and observing nature. I was enjoying myself; laughing with her, pointing at funny shaped clouds, but I was still itching to ask her why she asked to hang out with me today. Finally, a moment of silence rose between us and I took my chance.
"So, not that I don't mind or anything, but, why did you ask me to hang out today?" I bit my lip, afraid this would make her mad.
She stopped, and blinked at me; as if this was the stupidest question she ever heard. "We're friends right?"
"And friends hang out right?" she seemed slightly annoyed, and I felt a bit stupid for thinking it was anything more than that. After all, she had made it clear when she accepted my dinner invitation.
"Well, yes. I was just surprised that you wanted to hang out again since we just saw each other last night." I said sheepishly, feeling like a child now.
"Do you not want to see me this often?" she asked, utterly confused by this point. God this was infuriating.
I ruffled my hands through my hair, staring at her. "No, I do, it's just. You're confusing! You ask me to eat breakfast with you, and then say no to dinner. Then you say yes to dinner, but not as a date. Then you want to talk to me after we have dinner, and then you want to hang out with me the next day. You're just…you're sending different signals, and you're losing me here." Now I was the one who sounded annoyed, and I was.
She stared at me, and then turned away. "Well I'm sorry if I'm confusing you but I told you it was a friendship and nothing more. Maybe you're just reading into my actions too much." She mumbled the last part in the hopes that I wouldn't hear it. Nice try.
I sighed heavily, stepping in front of her so we were facing each other again. "Look, I told you how I felt that morning at the diner. I like you. I think you're beautiful, and I like being in your company, and if I could, I would spend every day with you. So pardon me for reading too much into your actions. I can't help it and I hate it." I had grabbed her hands, and as soon as I realized it, I let go.
She blushed, and shoved her hands in her pockets. "Chris, I like you too, but I just don't do relationships."
I groaned. Why did she have to be so difficult? "I'm not asking you to. Just…never mind. You're right. I need to stop reading into things too much." I didn't feel like discussing this anymore.
She looked at me sadly; as if she felt sorry for me. "I like being friends with you, can't we just stay that way?" she pleaded.
"Yeah, yeah we can." I sighed.
Amy and I hung out practically every day. Some days we met up for lunch at the diner, other days we would go to the park, or I'd accompany her while she did errands. I hadn't said anything more about the way she acted, and she seemed to tone it down on the 'mixed signals'. At least once during my time with her, I found myself conspicuously readjusting my erection and ignoring the pull in my groin. I had never masturbated this much before I met Amy either; and each time I did, it was becoming less and less satisfying.
I'm pretty sure Amy caught me staring at her on several occasions, but her silence told me she didn't really mind. We were usually in situations where I didn't have much to look at besides her, so I had an excuse.
I checked the time and saw it was almost four o'clock. My article was due at ten, and I had barely started it. Amy and I had been visiting some shops in China town, and I doubted she wanted to come all the way back to my apartment.
"Listen, I have to head back to my place. I have an article due tonight and I've barely started it." I said.
"Okay, well, I could come with you? Help you write your article even? Or stay out of the way until you're finished?" she raised eyebrow at me and tilted her head; making it impossible for me to say no.
"I mean, my place is kind of dirty…"
"Perfect, that gives me something to do while you write." She smiled, and led us to the curb to call for a cab.
Half an hour later, Amy and I were back at my place. Any other day, I would be excited to have her over, but I wasn't lying when I said my place was dirty and I was embarrassed that this was how she was seeing it for the first time.
Dishes were piled in the sink, there was a trail of clothes from the bathroom to my room, the trash hadn't been taken out yet, and the coffee table had a pizza box and other items laying upon it.
"Like I said, it's dirty." I muttered, ashamed, as I placed my coat on the coat rack by my door.
Amy didn't seem to mind though. "I'll have your place sparkling by the time you're done your article. And by the way, if there's anything embarrassing you don't want me to see, better go hide it. Because if I find it, you'll never live it down." She teased, now hanging up her coat.
"Does porn embarrass you?" I asked, half-serious.
"No." she said, placing her hands on her hips.
"Then we should be fine." I said and sat down at my computer. Before she could make it out of the living room, I wheeled around. "Are you sure you're okay with doing this?" I asked, still uncertain.
"Duh, why would I offer if I wasn't okay with it? Get it to work!" she snapped.
"Okay, okay. Sheesh." I turned back around and opened up my laptop. Ok, let's get to work. I said to myself.
Around six-thirty Amy asked if I wanted to order pizza. "We could watch movies once you're done? Just have a night in?"
"Sure." I said almost mindlessly, typing furiously. My article was about half way done, and I felt bad that Amy got stuck cleaning my apartment. "Take my wallet, I'm paying. Don't argue, because you cleaned my apartment." I said sternly.
I could tell she wanted to retort, but she didn't. She took my wallet and pulled out a twenty. "So what magazine do you write for anyway? I don't think you've told me."
"TIME." I replied.
"Impressive." She said as she picked up the phone to order the pizza.
Forty-five minutes later, when the pizza arrived, Amy convinced me to take a break long enough to enjoy dinner. My article was almost done, and I just needed to edit it. We sat on the couch and I let her flip through the channels. She picked the news. "I like watching when I'm not on! I make fun of the other weather girl." She said defensively. I rolled my eyes and ate my pizza, listening to her snide remarks about the other weather lady.
By eight o'clock, I was done my article. After double checking that it was saved and sent, I turned off my computer, feeling the relief of another work load off my back.
"So we can watch a movie now?" Amy asked. I had to admit, she had been wonderfully patient this whole time.
"Yes, and you can even pick." I said, taking my usual spot on the couch.
She grinned, like I had just made her day, and dove for my collection of movies next to the T.V. A lacy, red thong peeked out from her jeans, and I tried to hide my laughter. I managed to readjust the now pestering erection before she picked a movie.
I saw her draw back, a movie in her hand. When she turned around, she was fighting a fit of giggles. "Nice to see you're in touch with your feminine side." She teased as she tangled a copy of A Walk to Remember in my face.
"It's my girlfriend's actually. She likes to leave her movies here." I said with a straight face.
She gave me a dead-pan sort of look and popped in the movie. "Ha-ha. You're so funny."
When she sat down, she crossed her arms over her chest, exposing more cleavage. I tried my hardest not to stare. It's just that…it had been so long since I had been with anyone. Almost three years now, and my hand was not enough anymore. Amy is real, Amy is here. But she wants to be friends remember? The voice said in my head.
That's when the idea hit me. Friends with benefits. I know it doesn't usually work out but…what if this time it did? Or what if it was just a one-time thing? Should I even ask her? No. said the voice in my head. There was only one way I was going to know.
"I have to use the bathroom. Do you need anything while I'm up?" I asked casually.
"Some tissues, maybe. This movie always makes me cry." She joked; I think.
Nodding, I headed towards my bathroom. I closed the door behind me, pulled out my phone and dialed my sisters number.
"Hello?" she picked up on the second ring; there was a baby crying in the background.
"Sarah, hey! I need your opinion on something." I said in a hushed voice. My walls weren't exactly thick.
"Sure, what's up? Oh, is this about a girl?" she giggled.
"Shut up, but yes. It's about a girl."
"Okay, so what's the deal?" she asked.
I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "So, she doesn't want a relationship, she's made that clear. She just wants to be friends. But she's always asking me to hang out, and we text constantly. She asked to come back to my place with me while I finished an article. Now we're watching a movie, and I…it's been a long time Sarah." Not wanting to say the actual words.
"So what's your question? I mean she seems into you besides wanting to be friends…"
"My question is…should I ask her if she wants to be friends with benefits?" I asked, embarrassed. I could feel a blush spreading to my cheeks.
"Ugh, Chris, that never really works out for people. But…I know that's not going to stop you. So I'm going to say no, you shouldn't ask her, but she is most definitely in to you."
I smiled. "Thanks Sarah. And hey, I'll call you tomorrow so we can actually talk."
"Okay. Love you."
"Love you too."
I opened the door to go back to the living room and jumped when I saw Amy standing in the door way.
"Busted." She said with a smirk.