Damon pressed himself against me and gripped my head so fiercely that it was unnerving. I knew this side of him, the side that wanted to fuck my brains out for no other reason than because he could. But this wasn't Damon in front of me, not the man that loved me more than anything, not the man that would take what he wanted but wouldn't ever hurt me to get it. This was a man that didn't know me, he still wanted to take everything from me but not because he loved me. He was angry and confused; I provided an outlet for his aggression. Almost instantly he let go and moved back, as if he suddenly realised himself. Noticed his actions were out of line. His lame apology consisted of him saying he knew how we met, well whoop-de-fucking-do half our friends had told him that story. We met in a cafe. We talked. We dated. It didn't take an act of god to remind him of that story. But then he floored me, completely took the wind out of me.
"What?" I could barely hear my voice over my hammering heartbeat.
"You were reading some book about finding the one. I was cocky and told you you'd just found him, or something like that. I pulled you out of the cafe and into the alley next door." His voice was rough; his eyes showed sorrow, hurt and lust. I almost believed him but Julia could have told him this story.
"What did we do?" I pushed him against the wall, "Julia could have told you. How do I know it's really a memory, your memory?"
"What do you want from me, Callie? I remember, I fucking remember. I know I don't remember a lot and I didn't remember Jamaica, I'm sorry about that. I wish I could remember and I wish we could go back to being the way we were. But every time I see you, I hurt you. It's like you bring out this primal need in me that I can't control. When I'm close to you, I feel completely and utterly lost; like someone else is controlling my body and my actions and the only way I can be me is by being part of you. I can't explain it." he was angry, frustrated tears shone through his lust filled eyes.
We stared at each other for a split second before my legs wrapped around his hips and he pressed his lips against mine with urgency. So what if he didn't remember? Fuck it. At least I'd get some fun out of it. He lifted me against the sink and sat me on the edge whilst he kissed me and struggled to undo his shorts. His eyes flung open and he caught me as I was falling into the basin. Fuck. I held on to him for dear life. He grinned then pulled me off and into him. I felt better being on solid ground. He pressed a kiss into my hair.
"That could have ended very badly." He mused as his fingers traced the outline of my ever hardening nipples through my top.
"It will still end very badly. If you don't finish what you started." I pulled his shorts down with ease and watched his cock spring free. I don't think I could ever get bored of that sight. He pulled the string of my bikini and watched my bottoms fall down.
"Babe, I can't even pretend this will last long." He spun me around and bent me over the sink,
"Then you'd better make me cum quick." I regretted speaking as his fingers thrust inside me, I bit back a moan as he rubbed my g-spot
"Fuck, you're so wet." He murmured. He slipped his fingers out and rubbed my clit, I felt my body tense. He pressed harder and held me as I felt the release. He chose that moment to thrust into me, hard and deep triggering another orgasm. I straightened and turned my head to kiss him. His mouth was already waiting and his tongue found mine quickly. One hand wrapped across my chest holding me tightly against him whilst the other pressed hard against my mound. I wrapped a hand around his neck and placed the other over his, my fingertips grazing his cock as he thrust causing him to groan. His pounding turned fast and deep,
"Fuck, baby. I'm gonna cum." He ended with a moan as he fought to keep it in.
"Let it go." I begged as my muscles tightened around him. I smothered his mouth with mine as he moaned unable to keep quiet as he shot his load.
We slumped over the sink, still as one and tried to regain some composure. I twitched around him causing a low moan to escape from him; with one last thrust he kissed my cheek then moved away. I felt empty as soon as he slipped out but completely satisfied. We could fuck for hours; trapped in our own intense little world but a quickie was just as mind blowing. I jumped a little as I felt something damp between my legs. I looked down and watched Damon wiping away the evidence with a wet wipe. He held his hand between my legs and rubbed my clit.
"What are you doing?" I gasped, he softly continued until I tensed up.
"You know what I'm doing. That's it baby." His lips brushed my ear and kissed my temple softly as my orgasm pushed the majority of his cum out. I was too fucked to question him. Of course I knew what he was doing; I just wanted to know how he knew what he was doing. I gathered my senses and turned to watch him, he looked so calm, casual and at ease. None of this felt unnatural or forced. He might not remember me but his body did. I'd taught him the 'cum pushing' trick a few months into our relationship, mostly because it amused me. He loved it instantly and from then on whenever we'd been naughty somewhere we shouldn't have and needed to get clean quick, he'd do it. It was just part of the routine. He wiped his cock then wrapped the wet wipe in some tissue and put it in the bin before pulling up his shorts. I figured he'd forgotten I was still there, he seemed completely unaware of the need to discuss things or that we should feel embarrassed over our actions. He looked towards my bikini bottoms and bent down, pulling them up whilst kissing my thigh on the way; he gave my pussy a long lingering lick then fastened the tie. He stood and kissed me deeply, his hand pulling my head closer before resting his forehead against mine.
We stood for a moment in silence, at ease with each other before the harsh reality of our situation could seep in. I sighed and pulled away. It was time to face the real world; we'd already been gone long enough.
"You go first and I'll be out soon." I smiled and hoped it looked happy.
"Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" he touched my arm gently,
"I'm good, really good." I grinned, "No you didn't hurt me; you might not remember what I like but your body does. We need to get back out there before you have Toby to answer to." I pushed him out the door before he had a chance to argue or talk or ruin the moment.
I stood staring at the closed door for a moment, completely lost in the passion I felt for that women. I couldn't explain any of it. I didn't love her, not the way I had or should but I felt empty without her. I felt the urge to be as close to her as physically possible whenever I saw her. I ran my fingers through my hair and felt a little lightened; my heart didn't ache as much as it had when I left her the last time. Maybe we had both just reached a mutual understanding and it didn't need to go beyond fucking right now. Fulfilling our needs without the pressure of trying to explain it. I smiled and picked up a beer on my way out to the garden. Julia gave me a knowing look as I plonked myself in the chair next to her and Katy,
"Where have you been?" her tone said she knew the answer but I felt the need to fabricate the truth a little.
"I was just unpacking my bag before I get too drunk to figure it out." I avoided looking at her and stared out at the sea
"And you figured it out in the bathroom with Callie, did you?" At this point I actually looked at her, a grin spread across her face.
"How did you know?"
"The windows open, I walked past at the wrong moment. Don't worry; Toby won't find out from me just maybe pick your moments in future."
"I can't pick my moments with her. I can't bloody control myself within six feet of her." I shook my head and took a mouthful of beer.
"Sweetheart, you never could." She looked a little saddened until Mason came running up to her before gently tugging for her to join them playing, she laughed and picked up Katy following Mason over to Toby.
I watched Julia and Toby play with the children, granted Katy couldn't do a whole lot but she looked like she was having fun. I felt something cold slide across my back and looked up in time to see Callie pop an ice cube in her mouth with a grin.
"What'd I miss?" she crunched the frozen water then pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose and scrunched her eyes closed. I grinned and waited for her brain freeze to subside before answering. She peered out at the family and smiled,
"Julia walked past the bathroom at the wrong moment." I watched as she frowned a little,
"You should count yourself lucky; she used to have an uncanny knack of cock blocking us, at least you got a happy ending this time."
"What a shitty gift to have." I shook my head in mock disappointment,
"Hey, at least you can't remember all the embarrassingly frustrating times she caught us at it. I'm pretty sure she's seen your cock more times than deemed socially acceptable." Well, that was unfortunate.
"I'm impressed she didn't leave Toby and hunt me down instead. Toby's got nothing on me."
"Well they say love is blind, maybe it's stupid as well." She grinned and sat on the grass, stretching her long legs out and propping herself up on her elbows. I watched as she gazed lovingly at her brother and his family. I wondered what she was thinking but thought better of asking.
As the day wore on more and more people arrived. Some I knew well, some I'd forgotten and some I just hadn't met before. It was a little overwhelming to have people talk to you like they'd known you forever when you couldn't even remember their name. Callie had disappeared into the crowd, I'd hear her laugh every so often and look around to see her deep in conversation or playing with Mason and a few other children. I watched as she seemed totally at ease with everyone, even people she'd just met. Charming them with her wit, knowledge and passion for life. Despite everything she's been through over the last six months she looked perfectly calm, as if untouched by her hearts pain. I'd give anything to not have been the cause of awkward questions about the state of our relationship but she took it in her stride.
"You alright man?" Toby handed me another beer whilst I sat and manned the barbeque with him, I took a gulp before answering in the hope it would steady my voice and mellow my answer.
"She's amazing, isn't she? How is she able to look that happy when her whole world has been ripped apart?" I nodded over at Callie; he followed my gaze and smiled sadly.
"Yeah, she's something else. I don't know how she does it. Breaks my heart sometimes when I think about everything you've both lost. It's a cruel world, my friend. But hey you lived, that's the most important thing."
"Do you think she'd be better off if I hadn't?"
"Sometimes, yeah." He looked towards the ground for a moment then back up, "But you pretty much have died, you know? I mean you're here but you're not the man that loved her. I used to get angry, so angry with the world for what happened to you. It was such a cruel fate, such an evil twisted way for love to die. Mate, I know you can't remember but if you could have just seen how you two were together, you'd feel sick to your stomach right now. It broke my heart and I wasn't even the one in love with you. I physically can't imagine what she feels or you. You don't really talk about it." he hit my bottle with his gently. I watched as he wiped his eyes quickly and shook my head
"How could I talk about something I didn't understand? Who the hell was I to vent my anger or frustration when I was the one that couldn't remember? She tried to stay so positive, so strong but it made me angrier. If she was the love of my life then why didn't I feel something? Why didn't my heart break, like hers? I couldn't do anything to force the memories, I tried so hard to get something back but nothing came and the more I chased the further it ran. I broke her heart over and over again without even realising. A question here, a blank look there; bit by bit wore her down. I could see the pain in her eyes but I couldn't help it." I started to shake with emotion, too many emotions trying to make sense of my head.
I shouldn't have talked about it; I shouldn't have tried to work out my feelings. It was too much. I was on the verge of losing it completely. I hid my head in my hands and stared at the ground; willing these feelings to go away. The confusion, the anger and the frustration had no place here, not now.
"You probably shouldn't have started drinking again." I heard Callie mock. I knew it was in jest and it broke my heart. I looked up at her and saw her face soften, she held out her hand.
"Come with me." she pulled at my arm but I was reluctant to move, "Come on." She pulled again and I gave in. I couldn't speak as I followed her through the people towards the sea. Her thumb stroked my hand as it shook it her palm. She climbed over to wall onto the beach and I followed her dutifully. Unable to trust my own actions, I followed her numbly till we reached the sea.
"Scream, swear and shout out till you can't feel it anymore. Till all your pain and frustration is out. Do it. They can't hear you up there. Trust me, Toby and I tested it." She nudged me gently but I remained silent till she pierced the air with a mouthful of words that should never leave a pretty mouth. I stared at her in shock then put my hand over her mouth and looked around in case people had heard. She pulled my hand away and laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with her. Then I shouted, I don't even know what I was saying but it felt good. It felt good to give the world a piece of my mind for once. To curse it for ruining our lives. I'd almost finished when Callie pushed me into the ocean. I lost my balance and fell under the waves. It felt good; like my anger had been washed away.
I came up for air and saw Callie in the water next to me; she grinned and brushed some hair from my face,
"You know it's ok that you don't remember, I've got enough space in my heart to hold both our memories. And if you don't ever remember then that's ok too, I'm so lucky to have had the time with you that I did. I got off easy; I remember the love everyone talks about when they tell you about us. I get the warm glow when they remind us of events or insignificant moments that meant the world to us and those close to us. You just need to know that I loved you so much and you loved me. That's it, if nothing else comes of it then just know that." A tear slid down her cheek, I brushed it away with my thumb and swallowed hard.
"Were we happy?" I asked softly, needing to know but not knowing why.
"Yeah, even when we fought. And trust me we had some humdingers in our time. We weren't perfect but we worked. We shared an amazing four years together and I wouldn't change that for the world. So you need to stop beating yourself up, stop trying to remember things and just relax. The past is history, there's nothing you can do about it. The future is a whole other ball game. You're wasting your life and I won't allow that. So man up Damon Richardson." She kissed my hand then swam back to shore.
Callie was right, I guess. I couldn't do anything about what had happened but I could make the most of now, of being here with her and having fun. I'd survived a horrific accident and was lucky to be alive so why was I wasting my time being angry? I met Callie by the wall and shoved her playfully; my shoulder nudging hers.
"Thanks." No other words were needed; they'd just sully the sincerity. She smiled warmly then shoved me back and ran up the garden, jumping straight into the pool where Mason and Toby were. Mason screamed and laughed as he got splashed. She lifted him out of the water and blew a raspberry on his belly then splashed him back in. Toby looked over at me and smiled a questioning smile; I smiled back and nodded then joined Julia around the food table. Suddenly I was famished. She rubbed my back gently whilst she handed me a plate,
"Can you take some to Callie? She always gets too carried away in the excitement to get the good stuff. Every bloody time she does it." she rolled her eyes and smiled.
"Sure thing. What does she class as the good stuff?" I looked over the food and in my eyes it was all good stuff. I watched as Julia piled my plate with the really good stuff and smiled. Callie knew how to eat well. I filled my own plate then took them down to a lounger poolside.