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Stranger To Love and Love Which to Fear

Novel By: KaitDragons

The time has come and again I am searching for something to keep me going. I am hungry but this time I am doing things differently; very differently. I am a man many know of, but they know nothing about my plans and nothing about me personally. My name is Ryan and of course I am filthy rich. Nobody could ever get into my head. I am 22 but I have it all. For some reason,though, I wanted her. I wanted this strange, troubled girl in ways that would sicken some people, but I wasn't ashamed of it I. I wasn't aware of what I would be getting myself into. I wasn't one to fall in-love easily.My past has turned me cold in a way.Honestly, I could kill someone easily if I wanted to with all the skills I have. I have never felt the need to protect anyone since Cara my ex, but for some reason, I feel she needs me and nothing makes me want to back down. What I want most is for her to be mine and nothing can get in the way of my future intentions. Maybe I am crazy...crazy for her. View table of contents...


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Submitted:Apr 23, 2014    Reads: 197    Comments: 2    Likes: 0   

CHAPTER 15.........

….God damn it what was I thinking ? She is totally wasted and here I am, I was so wound up about to make love to her. Actually no more like fuck her. She has me way to wound up. Then she tells me she is a virgin. I am shocked how did I not know that? She is flirty but she always managed to control herself. Tonight she was practically was throwing herself at me. She told me she wanted me before she even started drinking. But its most likely just the alcohol causing her to talk like that. She not thinking clearly. I am not mad that she a virgin. I never took a girl's virginity. More then half the women I know have slept around. Never thought I have the chance to and it didn't ever matter since I haven't had a serious relationship with anyone since me and Cara broke up. Now here I am falling for Leah. What is this girl doing to me?

I shouldn't have walked out of the room like that but I am so sexually frustrated I had no choice. If I didn't get up I would have ended up fucking her regardless if she is wasted or not. But knowing she a virgin. I can't take her virginity not with her being so out of it. I care about her to much. I am happy I walked away when I did. Besides I feel like an ass for hurting her. At least if I had known I would have been a hell of a lot more gentle for her sake.

I ran up to the fourth floor . I needed to find Rosa. Rosa is the nurse -maid. She probably in her late 40s. I wanted to ask her to give me some pain medicine or something for Leah. When I walked out of the bedroom I realized I had some blood on my hands. She really was tight.. when I do "makelove to her" I really will have to be extra gentle. Either way it will hurt her until she gets use to me. I finally found Rosa and she gave me some medicine for her. I didn't tell her the whole reason not that she asked me. When I returned to my bedroom I didn't see her laying on the bed. I walked into my office I seen that I forgot to turn the light off from earlier that day. I thought Leah was in there but there was no sign however some of my books and things were knocked on the floor. Maybe someone knocked them off by accident?

..."Leah baby come out please" I was starting to get worried I flicked on the light and it took me a few minutes to realize her bag was gone. I threw on my jean and a black shirt and my shoes .

"Fuck where did she go" I decided to ask my security if they had seen her as I was about to run down the stairs to shout if anyone seen here but Jerry came running up.

"Ryan sir.. the girl you brought she left, Bob tried to stop her and calm her down but she was an emotional egg roll. I tried to get him to hold her off but she took off sir"

..."GOD DAMIT, I need my motorcycle "

"Sir it's raining I suggest the car"

.."Yeah good idea Thanks Jerry" I was running down the stairs I didn't even think to take the elevator I was a fast runner. I needed to find her a wasted girl in the rain is just bad. Not to mention she probaly a fucking mess emotionally. This wasn't a safe neighborhood there was a lot of druggies I needed to find her NOW. I feel like shit right now. God damn it why did I walk out of the room like that. Maybe she went in my office to find me? I was in my car within seconds flying down the street. She been gone for about 20 minutes top. She can't be far. I keep trying to call her but she not answering me. God damn it I need to find her quick.

….Leah's POV.

It's fucking raining my luck I don't even know where I am. My phone is dying. He doesn't want me he made it clear. He wouldn't even look at me in his office. I don't know why he wouldn't just turn his chair around and look at me. I was so stupid why would anyone want me? Every guy hates me eventually, the only guys who want me are the ones who want to get with me. Max probably doesn't even like me as a sister. He probably forgotten about me and Gracie. He got out and now he good, fuck him fuck everyone. WHY AM I SUCH a fuck up..?

I feel so sick in my stomach there is a couple stores but they are closed of course. There is some creepy alley way but there a trashcan and dumpster. I need to vomit. I can't stop crying and I clearly drank to much. I wish he wanted me I can't get Ryan out of my head. I want to call him but I literally can't and he wouldn't answer me anyway. He won't ever bother with me after tonight. I didn't know being a Virgin was such a bad thing I never imagined this type of reaction from him.

Things are a bit blurry to me I am just holding myself up against the brick wall. I am puking god this is awful. I can't drink this much again. I wish I didn't even have to live another day in this fucked up life but I can't leave Gracie. I know my best friends would take good care of her. But I am her big sister..! But I am sure she be okay, Lilly is like a big sister to her.. Gracie probably loves her more then me.

I can't help myself I am so full of negativity right now. I have been depressed before but I try so hard to cover it up. I use to force myself to throw up when I was in middle school. I was 14 and skinny but a few of the girls were doing it from the cheer leading team I tried. I wasn't happy so I tried to take the pain away that way. I was a mess then my dad was gone and things were rough at home. Max caught me he tried to make me stop but I still did it when I got the chance. I guess it made me feel better in a way. I always went crying to him he was my support at home. I was Gracie's he was mine outside of my friends. Max was hurting to though, when he saw mom going on dates he took it to heart. I was the only one who could calm him down but I couldn't do it forever.. Clearly he left..!

I wish time would go back I wish my dad would come back. I want him and Max and our family back together. Things were great before but that was a long time ago. I saw my dad on my 14th birthday but that was the last time. I wonder if he is out there somewhere? I knew he went for a good reason but I needed him especially now. I miss him god do I miss him.

I am here vomiting and I am soaking wet my dress is drenched at least it's black? I think I hear a voice but I can't be to sure. I have tears running down my face and my stomach killing me my throat is so dry. I try to wipe my eyes and makeup is probably everywhere but why should I give a fuck?

..."Leah is that you? Its Richard"

I am sitting on my knees I went to answer her him but I was throwing up again. I could barely breath. I felt his arms on my shoulder his hands were pulling my hair back. I was glad to have my hair held back but I wasn't really feeling to good that it was him. Richard was here in this dark alley where ever this was I have no clue but it's weird. I can't think much about it though. When I finish he looking at me.

..."What happened Leah..here take this he hands me a bottle of water and a piece of gum and a tissue" I heard a few other voices. Great here I am wasted and on my knees throwing up in front of my boss and his people. Fucking perfect.


"i drank to much, I mumble I am okay thanks" I take the tissue first and wipe my mouth and I drink some water then spit it out. It didn't taste much like water but whatever. I take another sip because I need something to drink. I pop the piece of gum into my mouth. He grabs me by my waist and helps me up. When I turn around I see him looking at me smiling.

.."Good girl I didn't want to have to force you to drink it and accept the gum" He said a playful voice he was laughing. I didn't find anything funny but I wasn't going to be mean. I was frezzing I just wanted a warm bed to cry myself to sleep in. I saw two guys standing a couple feet away looking at me they creeped me out. Richard wrapped his arm around me.

..."Boys this is Leah one of my best bar tenders the girl I have been telling you about he said" So he talks about me outside of work? Maybe I should take it as a compliment but it makes me feel weird for some reason. They just look at me with a wicked grin I go to say hi but I feel like I am about to vomit again. I quickly turn away I wanted to drop to my knees. But Richard is holding me up his arms are wrapped tight around me, it feels a little to tight he crushing me it hurts. I try to push away a little but he has a tight grip on me and my hair.

When I finish he still hasn't let me go.

... "I am okay Richard you can let me go now please" I hear a few mumbles

"she right here why not now"
…....."No I said it's to soon just listen to me dumb ass it's to soon just shut up" I feel so weak I just want to go.

"Richard let me go please I am okay really" Richard finally let's go of me or at least he loosened up his grip around me thank god.

..."Leah I have to go I am sorry these boy will get you home okay".. he looks to them "guys make sure she gets home ..SAFELY" ! He said safe with a harsh tone on it. I picked up on it but didn't think I should have worried to much.


I was leaning against the wall one of them handed me their jacket and held an umbrella over my head.

"Where do you need to get to?" I didn't want to tell them I didn't even have the words to say anything more. I just shrugged. Where did I even want to go? No where..!! I went to walk away but I felt his firm grip press me against the brick wall it hurt. I Seen a dim street light but no cars, this was a dead street it seemed. It was certainly creepy. I felt scared of him these two men made me feel weird.

"I need to call my boyfriend he will get me" I lied It was all I could think of. I knew RYAN wasn't going to get me why would he? They laughed.

..."She want's to call her boyfriend what do you think the buddy" They were looking away from me I only grabbed my hand bag I didn't care about anything else. I started to run toward the street but one of them caught hold of me.

.."where you going love? We haven't decided on where to take you yet not to mettion you havent told us" he slid his hand down to my backside. I put my hands in front of me pushing his chest away from mine trying to create some distance in between us.

"i am okay I can get home myself thanks though please let me go" He just laughed and pulled me tighter he was on something.. I could tell. My luck wrong place wrong time always.

.."Let her go dude you heard Rich"...

" SHUT THE FUCK UP. I didn't ask for you to speak to me you will learn boy eventually" He was a dick head clearly the other guy was around my age but this guy way like late 30 maybe? The kid was silent but didn't say anything after that. He turned back to me now.

"Listen to me or your going to make this worse on yourself. I want you right now so your going to get your ass up the stairs of this building and not make a sound or tell anyone you hear me girl? Then after you will be taken home I guess " He was kidding me right? Rich would kill him didn't he hear Rich say take me home safely.

I looked around where could I go.. I only had the street to run towards and it was dead. That was my only chance though. He unlocked the door but he sent the boy away I don't know where but he don't him to keep his mouth shut about all of this. The kid was out of my sight and then I was just standing there alone with this man. He pulled out a pair of keys and told me to follow him. He was pulling at my hands. I was pulling away but he had a tight grip on me I was begging him to leave me be.

"shut up bitch" He unlocked the door after a minute. He pointed for me to go up the stairs but I didn't move. I felt it coming again I was about to puke. He pushed me but I didn't move I fell forward a little he went to grab me but I slapped his hand off of me. Of course he slapped me and his ring cut into my cheek and it hurt it really hurt. I was about to just obey but instead I turned around and started throwing up it got all over him. Good serves him right.

"Eww you fucking bitch" I kicked him and slammed the door shut. I took off running down the alley. I got to the street and was in the middle of the street running. I saw a car coming. I had no clue who it was but I was happy it was a car. It was a person.. The car was coming to a stop at the end of the street. I heard the guy screaming he was coming I started to panic I was running as quick as I could in this pouring rain I ended up slipping. Next thing I know the car was by my side. I looked around but the guy wasn't in sight. Everything was blurry but when I got my focus I realized who it was.

RYAN.. I cried out. He picked me up off the street and I couldn't help but throw my arms around his neck I wasn't going to let go. I didn't care if he hated me or didn't want me I just needed him to get me out of here I was bawling my eyes out. He pulled me close and climbed in car pulling me in on his lap he didn't put me in the other seat instead he left me straddling him sitting on his lap. His shirt had to be soaking wet from my tears. I didn't care though I was safe now. He sped off down the street we were back at his house within 20 minutes.

He carried me me to the elevator and he didn't put me down he didn't let me go he took me straight to his bathroom. He placed me on the huge sofa. I was freezing. I still was crying I couldn't calm down. I was having an anxiety attack on top of my asthma attack. I can't even remember the last time I had one. It had to be what almost a year ago? I had my inhaler in my bag. I was struggling to open my bag but he got it open for me I dug my hand in it wasn't hard to find. I pulled it out and immediately started using it. After I a minute I dropped it to the floor.

I wrapped my arms around my knees hiding my face between. I was a mess. This was horrible. I have no clue why he came out or how he found me. Maybe he wasn't looking for me. Maybe he just saw me and felt bad after he realized it was me, he couldn't just leave me... He probably didn't know it was me. Why did it matter I knew he didn't need me or want me. I wanted him though after these past few months I was so happy with him. I had fallen for him. But I wasn't ready to admit it yet but now I never could.

I was crying harder!

..."Leah baby stop crying please" . He was trying to pull my face up to look at him but I wasn't letting myself look up. He pulled me to the end of the sofa chair and pushed my legs apart. He was between my legs on his knees in front of me on the bathroom floor. I still had my hands covering my face.

…."Leah please talk to me. What happened why did you run off like that? You had me so fucking worried. I walked out of the room to calm down and I was getting you medicine. I come back and your gone. YOU didn't answer my call I was freaking out."

"You didn't want me you hate me and you don't want me because I am a virgin I cry out. You wouldn't answer me or turn around when I came in your office you just ignored me, I left" He shook his head and let out a soft laugh. Why was he laughing right now nothing was funny my feeling were hurt he didn't want me. How was this funny?

.."Leah I wasn't in my office I went up stairs to the fourth floor"

" But your light was on and the door was shut and your chair was turned"

..."Yeah the light was on I forgot to turn it off earlier today. The chair was turned because my cat Gilbert was sitting in the chair most likely. As for the door I always keep it shut. I thought you were in there because I didn't see you in bed instead I walk into my office and found a few of my things knocked down.. and of course no Leah.. You weren't anywhere. You really worried me Leah don't ever do that again baby please"

I felt stupid..i was talking to his cat he wasn't even in his room? I caused this whole mess just to find out that he wanted me still that he didn't hate me. I felt sick again and my face was throbbing. I touched my face it felt bruised and bloody. Ryan pulled my hands from my face. I don't think he had any clue what happened I still had tears running down my face. If it wasn't for him what would have happened to me? I don't even know.

.." LEAH "he screamed in a worried tone he pulled my hands from my face. "oww oww it hurts Ryan"

He got up and grabbed a cold rag and placed it against my face,i looked in the mirror I looked like hell. My makeup was running my dress had some blood on it and I had a bruise. I bruised quickly. Not to mention I had a huge cut right below my eye. I didn't want him to see me like this it hurt but I could handle it by myself.

" I am okay Ryan please don't make a big deal out of this I am safe now I am here" He shook his head and pulled me tight into his arms he went to kiss me but I put my hand in front of my mouth to stop him. He looked hurt taken back by me doing this.

"Ryan I threw up and I am freezing I need a shower or something please"

..."Oh Leah he said " HE kissed me even though I just said I had thrown up only about 30 minutes ago. I guess he didn't care?

.."I am so sorry I shouldn't have let the room like that I wasn't thinking I didn't even think about it. I didn't know you think I didn't want you I am stupid. I am so sorry"

"Its okay Ryan it's not your fault I am sorry. I shouldn't have left like that and I should have told you, I shouldn't have thrown myself at you like that it was slutty of me. I just really wanted you to want me I wanted tonight to be the night. I ruined it though."

I looked down at the floor with my hands on my lap pulling at my dress. I started to calm down from my anxiety attack. He really was so sweet. I though he didn't want me but I had it wrong. My face was really hurting and I really wanted to get cleaned up.

.."Leah your not a slut you didn't ruin anything and I still want you, I want you more then you know. Lets get you washed up instead of a shower how about a bath?"

I shook my head "Yes that sounds good" He gave me a toothbrush and I brushed my teeth at the counter while he filled up the huge hott-tub, bath..thingy. When I was finished I tried to undue my dress but he came over and un zippered it for me.

"Leah do you mind if I join you in the hot bath?" I smiled he wanted to get a bath with me..!

"Not at all" I was blushing I couldn't help it. Ryan leaned in and kissed me. I reached up and took his shirt off I kissed his chest slowly. Then I undid his zipper and button to his jeans. Pulling them down slowly I got on my knees and pulled his boxers down, He was hard and even bigger then I could remember. He took my bra and thong off again and then he pulled my hand softly as we walked towards the hot steamy tub. He stepped in first then he picked me up by my hips and softly placed me in the water between his legs.

.."Leah I have to tell you something please don't get scared or go running from me I really care about you Leah" I turned my head a little so I could see him even though I could have just looked into the mirror to see his and my reflection.

" I care about you to Ryan a lot" Ryan grabbed my hands I guess he wasn't done.
..."Leah I don't just care about you.. I umm I LOVE YOU Leah". Did he really just say that ? Was this all a dream?

"Pinch me" I said it out loud.

"What Leah? I am sorry I shouldn't have said it forget that I said that" No this wasn't a dream this all really was happening he just said he loved me and I loved him to I really did.

"Ryan I love you too"

.."Leah you don't have to say it just because I did its okay I am sorry for saying it"

" Ryan shut up I love you I really mean that I didn't want to say it to you but I have fallen for you. When I thought you didn't want me tonight I just felt like nothing. You really have made these past 5 months the best. Everything was bad until I met you things are more easier to deal with now it seems."

I kissed him and turned around "I love you I mean it Ryan"
.." I Love you Leah I care about you so much and I care about Gracie.. ill always be here for you both no matter what and I mean that it's not some lie" He kissed me deeply. This was so romantic but my face still hurt I grabbed some water and splashed in on my face. Then I straddled him in the tub but I gave myself enough space because his dick was huge. We weren't having sex not right now. He was just cuddling me kissing me. This was perfect....

( Don't worry there more of this hot tub scene in the next chapter guys(; … How ever I think I made this one pretty damn long.. & he will find out about the man and what happened to her he is just giving her time before he gets the information out of her! I mean she needs some time before being questioned about what happened.)


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