Author's Note: Guys, this is the last chapter. I hope you all...find it interesting.
Chapter 22: Breakable
When I got home, I went over me and Evie's conversation in my head. Could she really blame me for being fucked up in the head for the moment? Can she blame me for wanting to get away from drama for a little bit? I found it pretty reasonable. I mean it wasn't like I was planning on leaving Chris…at least not permanently. Just until I can wrap my head around what happened. No one understood what it was like to be in the position I was just in. They can't judge my decision.
Without thinking, I had packed a suitcase and my feet now rested on it as I sat on the bed.
I sat there for hours, thinking, trying to decide what I should do.
It wasn't smart to leave my problems behind but a break couldn't really hurt. A break without Chris, my mom, Liam, Chase, Tara and Evie.
I looked down to my suitcase and tried to go over my head every last memory I had with them.
When I thought of mom, I use to think of how she was before she got on drugs. She had her moments where she was okay sometimes but she was never warm and fuzzy. She never cuddled me. Well at least not a time I could remember.
Then Liam. He was always the big over protective brother that always told me the truth no matter how disappointing it was. He made me smile, made me laugh. And now all those memories were dimmed down due to the fact that he wouldn't let me grow up.
Next was Tara. My best friend since….forever. We had the craziest and wildest sleepovers and she was always there when I needed her. Especially when I needed to tell off the sluts in high school.
I smile for a moment.
Chase, we didn't know one another that well but he was a cool guy, and in my opinion, the right guy for Tara. He made her smile and was more than happy to be having a baby with her. He was a great guy.
Evie, the world's most kick-ass and amazing aunt. Beautiful and truthful, confident and perfect in every way I could imagine. She was the one person in the world whose been in my situations and understood me from a girl's perspective. Even more than my own best friend did.
Chris was….in every way as perfect for me as a guy could get. Chris was the beautiful specimen I was born to be with. He was the blunt, cocky, other side to me who knows when and how to shut me up. He was the only one who could. I had changed him, made him love me and only me, and he has done the same to me. We loved one another.
I sigh. I don't know what to do.
The door opened and Chris walked in but paused when he saw my feet resting on the suit case lying on the floor.
His relieved expression quickly changed to confusion, and then to anger.
I knew what it must look like.
It looked like I was giving up, and giving in.
The door closed and Chris placed his hands in his pants pocket as he slowly walked towards me.
I watched the stern look on his face, and for a moment, it intimidated me.
His eyes darted between me, and the suitcase below me, back and forth, as if he was trying to make sense out of the two.
"You're fucking kidding me, right?" He asked, his eyes resting on mine.
I just blinked at him, his anger made me feel a bit smaller than I am. Oddly, like I was getting a lecture from an adult.
"What?" I asked.
He looked back to the suitcase beneath my feet. "What the hell is that?"
I looked down to the suitcase, feeling the tingles of guilt. You come home and find that the person you're in love with has a suitcase packed. Of course you'd be angry.
"Why the fuck do you have a suit case packed, Summer?"
I lowered my head, my blonde hair covered my face as I kept my face hidden in shame.
I hear his footsteps and a finger lifts my chin up so that I'm looking into those hazel eyes.
I melt at the sight of them.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"I don't know." I whispered.
He took his finger away and looked up to the ceiling and sighed.
I looked to anything that would distract me from him. I notice the careful golden swirl designs printed on the black pillow case.
"Are you the stupidest fucking girl in the world, or what?"
My eyes snapped up to him, my guilt now morphing into irritation. "What?"
"What reason do you possibly have for leaving me, Summer?"
"For your information, Mr. Dramatic, I wasn't thinking of leaving you permanently. I was just going to take a side trip."
Chris shook his head. "You're not taking a side trip." He leaned down, grabbed my suit case, opened it and let all of the clothes fall from it before he dropped it and kicked it over to the side.
I was seething. I stood up and scowled at him. He took it too far, and right now, I couldn't stand him. "What did you do?"
"Stop fucking running away. I'm sick of you doing that shit. You can't run away from every fucking problem you come across. You want to get away, fine. Go. I'll buy you a fucking ticket to fucking Russia if you want. But don't you dare run because shit is getting to be too tough. You're going to stay your ass here until we work it out. Because that's what an engaged couple does. We work shit out."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not-" I stopped and furrowed my brows. Did he just say engaged? "What the fuck do you mean engaged?"
He shook his head, a bitter smile making its way to his face. "No. Fuck it now."
Revelation hit me. I narrowed my eyes, suspiciously. "Were you going to-?"
He sighed. "That's not important. I'm focused on my fuck-tarded girlfriend about leave." God. He even uses my words. He really is the other side to me.
I close my eyes and rests my head in my hands. "God, what do you want from me?"
"I want you to grow the fuck up and face your problems. That's the only thing I want from you, besides for you to say yes to me."
I pick my head up to meet his eyes. "You think I'm going to say yes after you're yelling at me?"
"I'm not yelling at you. I'm trying to make you see sense and reason. You understand? I know you're not a child. So stop acting like it. I love you, okay? I love you enough to tell you how fucking stupid you're being. So suck it up and move the fuck on." He said.
My eyes went to the clothes spread onto the floor. I slowly sat back down and took a look at the situation.
He was right.
I was stupid. I was beyond fucking stupid.
Chris stepped closer to me and lifted my chin . He looked into my eyes for a long moment and sighed. "God, you're so fucking beautiful it hurts my heart."
I shied away and closed my eyes.
"I could have killed him." He whispered.
I opened my eyes to meet his. He was serious. The most serious I'd ever seen him.
I nod my head. "I know."
"Fuck, princess, it's to that point where I'd do anything for you," He shook his head. "You just don't understand."
I grab his hair, delving my fingers in. "No, I do." I whisper, my breaths were quick and ragged. "I'd do anything for you too."
"So will you drop this 'wanting to leave' thing and make up with Tara, whom in my opinion, did the right thing?"
"Things could have been worst, though. And she would have been sitting in her car. It would've been her fault."
Chris sighs. "It's not her fault your dad is goddamn psychopath. And the girl does have a baby to think about. If the situation reversed, what would you have done?"
"Saved her. She's basically my sister. I would do all in my fucking power to save her life. You know that."
Chris shrugged. "Regardless, talk to her and stop being such a big baby."
I sighed. He was right. Damnit, I hate when he's right. Maybe I did overreact. But still, me being who I am, I would have helped Tara, pregnant or not. But I guess that's just me.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
He nods his head and strokes my cheek. "I know you are."
"I love you."
"Love you more."
"So, what's going on with your club? Find anything yet?"
He shakes his head. "No, but who gives a fuck anymore? I just want the damn thing fixed now. But let's not worry about that."
I nodded my head and kept my eyes on his.
He stared back down at me, curiosity playing on his face. "Before I completely fucking embarrass myself, I need to know whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with a fucking asshole like me."
I smirk. "You know I do."
"You're going to put up with my bullshit?"
"Always." I say, grinning.
He sighs and reaches into his pocket and withdrawals a black velvet ring box and my smile disappears.
Actually seeing, and realizing what he was about to do made my entire body feel chills. I don't know if they were good chills or bad chills.
Chris got down on one knee and looked into my eyes.
Without even realizing it, a tear trailed down my cheek, down to my chin.
We were quiet for a long moment.
He seemed nervous which is very unlike him. Nothing makes Christopher Clark nervous.
He opened the box, revealing a ring with two golden bands connect by a big teardrop diamond. It was honestly the most breathtaking thing I ever seen.
My eyes met his.
"You are the most beautiful, up-tight, annoying woman I know," He smirks and shakes his head.
I half smile before my eyes go back to the ring.
"Be my wife." He whispers.
I nod. "You're full of shit but I will."
He chuckles. "Ditto, princess."
He takes the ring out and drops the box on the floor.
I slide off the bed, to get on the floor with Chris, on my knees.
He takes my hand and slides the ring onto my finger. Then he kisses it as he meets my eyes.
"You're so sweet."
"Yeah, only around you."
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kiss his lips before burying my face in his neck, smelling his soap, his shampoo, and his cologne.
It smelled so intoxicating. So erotic.
I pull back to look into his hazel eyes.
I could see the dark desire in them as they looked back into mine. He whisked me up into his hold and placed me onto the bed as we started tearing one another's clothes off.
This was right. Despite all the shit that's happened, the one thing that I did know was that me and Chris belonged together.
After three weeks, me and Tara made up. Mainly because Chris had forced us to. But I understood her point of view better. I was stupid, selfish. I got that the baby was more important.
But I still would have helped if I was in her position. Just saying.
I was walking up to the receptionist desk, Chris right behind me.
The red head receptionist looked up and met my eyes. Then her eyes fell to Chris who she grinned at. "Hi."
I cleared my throat and her eyes went back to mine. "Hi. Um, we're here to see my brother. Liam Waters."
She grabbed a clip board and placed it on the desk. "Sign in and I'll get you a visitors pass."
I signed my name, and Chris signed his.
The woman gave us our passes and told us what room he was in.
I personally didn't think he had to go to the mental institution for what he did to Chris. Anger management and therapy would have sufficed.
Me and Chris walked down the quiet, all white hallways, the only sound was my heels clicking as I walked.
The room we were looking for was 315. But all I was seeing were even numbers.
"Nervous?" Chris squeezed my hand.
I nod. "Yeah." I responded quietly.
I looked onto the other side and saw 315 three doors ahead.
I stopped and looked to Chris.
He dropped my hand. "If you want, I'll go talk to him first."
I shook my head. That wasn't apart of the plan. I didn't want Liam to see Chris.
"Yeah." He kissed my forehead before going up to the door and knocking.
I looked over at Summer who seemed afraid for me to be alone with Liam after the last time but she had nothing to worry about. If he gets out of line again, I'll handle him.
I knocked on the door again.
After a moment, a low grumble came from the other side of the door. "Come in."
I gave Summer one last glance before opening the door and stepping in.
Liam was sitting at a table, playing solitaire. His eyes looked up to me and he froze.
He looked like his dad. His hair was longer, scruffy, and he actually had a bit of a beard.
I leaned against the wall and folded my arms. "Happy to see me?" I asked.
Liam put the cards down and furrowed his brows. "What the hell are you doing here?"
I sighed. "Just hanging out." I shrugged.
Liam shakes his head. "I don't have time for your bullshit."
He was all business.
Guess I shouldn't have expected anything less from him.
"Fine. Me and Summer wanted to see how you were doing."
"I'm doing fucking fantastic now that my business is out there."
"With reason. He's in prison now, about to serve twenty years."
Liam nodded and flipped a card. "I heard."
I nodded. "So, can I sit?" I asked.
He shook his head. "No."
I walk over to his bed and sit down anyways and stare at him.
He leans back in his chair and clears his throat. "Are you still screwing my sister?" He asked.
I glance at the window. "You know, I know that you're pissed, and maybe you even had every right to do what you did."
"You lied to me. The both of you."
I shake my head and look back to him. "Not because we wanted to."
"That doesn't matter."
"Liam, come on. If you would have known, you would have shut it down. Immediately. Without caring how me or Summer felt."
His thumbnail scraped at the wooden table in front of him.
"I fucked up. I have done in so many girls."
"I know. Which is why you don't deserve her. Nobody does."
"I know. But I love her. I asked her to marry me, Liam."
His eyes grew from irritated to astonished. He narrowed his eyes as if contemplating whether or not I was lying to him.
"When?" He asked, his gruff voice growing slightly softer.
"Three weeks ago." I said.
Liam looked back to the table.
"Since she was fifteen, Liam. I told you that."
Liam stayed silent.
"I just wanted to come to say that I'm sorry. I'm very fucking sorry I did that you. It was never meant to hurt you."
"I don't know if I can forgive you or not, let alone be your friend again."
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't really give a fuck. But, I felt that I owed you an apology anyway. I'm not as fucking heartless as people think."
Liam looked back to me.
I stood up. "I'll send Summer in." I turn to go to the door.
I turn my head to look at him.
"You hurt my sister, I'll kill you."
I nod and smirk. "If you ever hurt her again, I'll fucking hang you. Are we okay?"
Liam shrugged as stared at me.
A shrug was good enough.
He'll come around…maybe.
Chris walked out of the room. He was unharmed. That was a good thing. But his face was unreadable.
The door closed behind him and he walked to me.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Nothing. We talked. He hates my fucking guts. But who cares? He's waiting for you."
"He knows I'm here?"
Chris nods and kisses my ring. "I'm going to be right by the door. You'll be fine. I promise."
I nod my head and slowly walk over to the door.
I pull it open and step into the room. It's white walls, and equally white floor tiles really made you feel like you were in the hospital. It immediately gave off a depressing vibe that I couldn't stand.
My eyes fell to Liam who was studying me carefully.
God, he looked so different. Older.
I blinked and played with my fingers, unsure of what I should do.
I just stared at him.
I felt like I was looking at a stranger.
I bit down on my lip and looked down to my shoes.
"Summer," His voice was hoarse as he said my name in a way he's never said before.
I meet his eyes.
I can't tell what he's thinking. Or what he's feeling.
He stood up, his face suddenly filled with pity. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I hit you. I can't believe I did that to you. I was just so mad." He walked over until he was standing in front of me, towering over me.
"I know. I'm sorry too, Liam. I didn't want you to have to have to find out that way. I should have told you."
He held my jaw. "Why didn't you?" He whispered.
"Because…I'm an idiot." I admitted.
He smiles. "That you are."
I rested my hand in his jaw. "How do you feel?"
"Seeing you, I'm better. I feel better now that you don't hate me after what I did."
"I couldn't hate you. Well I did for a moment, but, what happened was my fault."
"No. I think I had something to do with it to."
"You think?" I asked playfully hitting his arm.
He chuckles softly then. sighs in relief while his fingers go through my hair.
"When do you think you can come home?" I ask.
"Until they decide that I'm stable. In their eyes, I'm insane for wanting to murder my best friend for being with my sister."
"Please don't blame Chris for it. I wanted him. He didn't force himself on me. This thing just happened."
"Can I ask a question?" He asks.
I nod my head.
"Did you too want him when you were fifteen?" His fingers twist in my hair which is something he doesn't usually do. In fact, the only person who touches my hair like this is Chris. It was odd to have Liam do it too. But I ignored it and just accepted that he hasn't seen me in a while and he missed me.
"I was younger. Fourteen." I admitted to him.
Liam nods. "That's a hell of a fairy tale. Don't you think?"
I nod. "A dysfunctional fucked up one, yeah."
Liam's hand went from my hair down to my hand. He brought it up to study the ring around my finger and smiled. "Are you happy….with him?"
"More than I could ever be with anyone."
Liam raised his eyebrow. He parted his lips to say something, but stopped himself.
"When will you ship out again?" I asked him.
"Do you think, you'll be able to come to the wedding?" I asked.
"Please?" I ask.
He exhales deeply. "I'll come for you, and for only you." His words, for some reason, sounded like a lie.
I looked at him skeptical for a moment, but he said he'd do it for me, so I had to believe that he actually will. "That's good enough for me."
Liam grabs my hair again and looks into my eyes.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
Liam nods. "I'm going to be fine." He takes his fingers from my hair. "Thank you for coming here. I needed to see you, baby sis."
I smile warmly at him. "I needed to see you too, Liam."
"You should have visited me more often."
"I shouldn't have to visit. You don't belong here. You're not crazy."
"I don't know," He steps closer to me. "Being in this place kinda makes me feel like I am."
I take an invisible step back. "You do seem a bit off. But…you sure you feel okay?"
He nods and grabs my hand to put against his heart. It was beating fast, and hard. "I feel fine. I love you."
I nod my head. "I love you too." I whispered.
He smiles warmly and backs up. "I wanna show you something."
"What is it?"
He turns and reaches into a little drawer beneath the table. I peeked over to see what it was, and I seen it was some kind of knife object.
My brows furrowed as he turned around.
Without another word, he stuck it in his throat.
My eyes widened, as nervous shivers ran over my body, numbing me as I watched the scene in front of me.
I was stuck.
Liam fell to the floor, his body heavy as it dropped while blood gushed out of his neck. He wheezed and choked and coughed while his face was contorted in agony.
The door burst open and Chris ran to Liam. He gasped at the scene and pulled the knife from Liam's neck, forcing more blood to gush out. "Fuck. FUCK!" He ran out of the room calling for help while I stood there, Liam's blood spreading slowly across the floor.
My breathing grew heavy, vicious as I broke into an anxiety attack. I fell to my knees, my eyes remaining on Liam's body that jerked as he looked up at the ceiling with the deadest look in his eyes.
He said he was fine.
He just said he was fine.
He was fine.
He was fine.
His body finally stilled as a line of dark blood spilled from his bloodstained lips.
I blinked, trying to decipher what I was seeing.
I was caught between the mental state of believing this just happened in front of me, and then trying to shake away the imagination that set up the scene.
I hear running footsteps coming towards the room. More than one person. It sounded more like three people.
Two men, and Chris hurried into the room, and the two men didn't hesitate.
Chris got on the phone with the ambulance as I sat there while Liam's blood spread towards and then under me, staining my jeans.
He wanted me to watch this. He wanted me to watch him do this to himself.
I'll never know if it was because of me and Chris, or my dad, or maybe he lost Imogene, or maybe the image of his rape wouldn't leave his head, or maybe stress, or mom, or him perhaps turning out to have feelings for me was the reason he did this.
I didn't care.
I was being asked to remove myself from the room. I couldn't.
His blood spreads underneath my body as I stare at his lifeless eyes, so lost.
I am unbreakable.
But it was obvious that Liam was not.