Chapter 10: Lusting for the bad
Me and Chris didn't leave his bed last night or for most of the next day. I knew…well heard, rather, that sex feels good. The word 'good' is being way fucking downplayed. Unless people who say sex is 'good' has just average partners.
Chris is no average partner.
The shit he does…and the shit he says to me is proof he is no average partner.
I slipped into the driver seat of his car. It was a 2014 Aston Martin Vanquish. I didn't know much about cars but it was bronze, sleek, and sexy as hell. Chris got into the passenger seat.
He, for whatever reason, completely trusted me driving his car, well one of his cars. I only been on the road a few times and I didn't even trust myself with his car.
I adjusted the mirror to my liking then I looked to Chris.
"Please don't crash this car, I actually like it. It's simple, yet makes a hell of an impact."
I nod my head. "I'll try my hardest." I say as I start the car up and put it into drive.
I drive through the spiral driveway of his mansion and then finally get onto the road.
Damn it's fast. And the wind blowing through my hair, and my heart racing, and the thrill running through my body made me smile.
I look over to Chris whose watching me. He doesn't seem afraid of my driving.
I bite on my lip and accelerate. "What?" I asked as my eyes return on the road.
"For some reason, watching you handle my car like that makes me want to fuck you."
I blush and look to him. We were on the road so I couldn't jump on him at the moment. I just had to distract my thoughts. "Are we going anywhere or are we just driving?" I asked.
My eyes meet his and he has that look on his face that makes my body squirm.
"I know a place we can go. Just keep driving forward."
I nod my head.
"You know, you're damn lucky I feel for you because I wouldn't just let any girl drive my car, especially this one."
I smirk. "So none of your girlfriends ever got to drive your cars?" I asked.
"You're the only one I ever had that I actually have feelings for, so no, none of them drove my cars." He said.
It made me feel good that he trusted me so much, especially with something he cared about.
I mean if I wrecked this car, he could easily buy another, but still, the fact that he cared about it so much, showed it wasn't as heartless as he likes to show people. Bastard.
He told me directions to whatever place he had in mind for us, and I drove up in a field of grass.
I put the car in park and turned it off.
He opened the car door and I did too and slipped out.
He reached for my hand and I took it while he led us down a small hill. The ocean was damn close to us. I never been this close to it before. I mean it runs basically in my backyard but physically, I never got close to it like I was now.
I freak out around oceans but with Chris here, I didn't panic as much.
When the sand hit my flip-flops, I just stood there and watched the clear blue water and the waves. I have to admit that it looked clean and gorgeous.
Chris stood behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist with his chin resting on my shoulder.
It was honestly a perfect moment. The air was warm, the grass was green, the sand was warm, the ocean was beautiful, and Chris was acting like a sweetheart which only seems to come out when he's alone with me.
I turned my head slightly and Chris's lips rested onto my temple. Then he sighs. "I'm about to say something really lame." He whispered.
"Then say it."
"You look really fucking beautiful in the sun right now."
I smile. "Really?"
"Just the way it reflects on your skin, and your eyes, and your hair."
I turn to face him. "You're sweet."
He shakes his head. "Sometimes."
I lock my arms around his neck. "Yeah, sometimes."
I give his lips a few peck kisses before my lips go down to kiss on his neck. I know he loves it when I do this. It immediately makes him hard.
He tasted like soap, and the way he smelled definitely ignited desire in my belly.
His hands went to my lower back, and then to my ass.
But I reached back and pushed them down more and then up my skirt.
I look into his eyes and smile at the surprised look on his face. I wasn't wearing any panties or any thongs.
I was shy to ask him for what I wanted, but he was my boyfriend and the only one whose gotten to really explore me, so I shouldn't be scared. But still, it was slightly embarrassing.
"Chris, can you do that thing?" I asked.
I gave him a look.
He smiles. "Oh. That." He takes his hand from under my skirt and turns my body so that my back is against him. I already knew what to do. I spread my legs and turned my head to look back at Chris and he's taking his finger out of his mouth, wetting it and his hand slides back under my skirt.
I face back forward, and I feel his finger slowly slide into my butthole.
I gasp and moan loudly as I lay my head back onto his shoulder.
My eyes close as he pushes his fingers in and out slowly.
I never in a million years thought I'd enjoy him doing this to me so much. He did it when we first had sex and I didn't know how I felt about it, until it helped me climax.
Now, I liked it a lot, more than I wanted to admit.
But it felt good because he was taking it slow with me, so he didn't fuck me like this….yet.
Oh my god, this was making me so wet. That and the fact that we were out in public for anyone to see us. But we were alone in the moment, and I liked it this way.
"Chris," I moaned.
He increased the movement of his fingers which made me squirm and whimper.
"Fuck me like this." I whispered.
"You really want me to? You will be in a fuck load of pain."
"I don't care." I whisper breathlessly.
He moans. "You want me?"
I nod my head.
"Right here in public? You want me to take you right here?"
I nod my head.
He chuckles softly. "You amaze me, princess."
I feel him hard, poking me in my back, and moving his fingers deeper in my butthole.
I know a lot of people aren't exactly into this kind of thing, thinking anything involving anal sex is gross. But me and Chris don't seem to care.
"We will have our moment where I fuck you in public, just not now."
I nod my head. "Okay." I breathed.
We arrived to my house and I unlocked the door and we both walked in.
I shut the door, locked it and when I turned, Liam walked into the room. He looked between me and Chris. "Where were you two?" He asked.
My eyes went to Chris.
"I was bored so I was teaching her how to drive my car." He said.
Liam's eyebrow raised. "Thought you two hate one another."
"We do." Me and Chris said in unison, then we looked at one another.
"Anyway," My eyes went back to Liam and he stared at me. "Imogene is in the kitchen."
My eyes all but popped out of my head when he said that. "What?"
"I know you hate her but she wants to apologize and make amends."
"Tell her she can make amends with my ass. I don't want to hear what she has to say."
"Give her a chance."
I shook my head but Liam disappeared into the kitchen anyway.
I sighed, irritated with the situation. That slut has a lot of nerve coming here.
I look to Chris who met my eyes. "You even think of holding a conversation with her and its over for you."
His eyes narrowed at me.
"What makes you think that just because I fucked her, means I wanna talk to her afterwards?"
I blinked at him. "I don't know but you are getting your dick chopped off if you say one word to her." I threatened.
He smirked, showing that everything I was saying, he wasn't taking it serious. "You think I want her? I'm sorry but I believe it was you I was inside of earlier today."
Imogene walked into the room with Liam behind her following her like he was her lap dog.
Imogene had a bad red dye job, and big blue eyes. She was skinny, scrawny and always held a smile on her face.
Now I see through it.
"Oh my god, Summer? You're so grown up."
I nod my head. "Yeah, I am."
She shook her head in disbelief.
Liam smiled and kissed her cheek. "I'm gonna finish our lunch." He walks back into the kitchen and Imogene looked to Chris. "Hi, Chris."
I know I'm not hallucinating her eyes growing soft and her tone becoming flirtatious as she spoke to Chris.
He nods his head to her.
She grins. "Isn't Summer grown? The last time we all saw each other, she was just fifteen in high heels, and her mom's jewelry."
"Summer doesn't do the little girl shit anymore. She does other things now." I hear in Chris's tone that he meant something else.
My cheeks grow warm as I meet his eyes.
"Well, I assumed so. We all got to grow up, right?" Imogene asked.
I shrugged. "I guess."
Imogene clasped her fingers into her hair. "So what's new? Got a boyfriend?" She asked me.
I cleared my throat, and said nothing.
"I gotta go, my parents are coming home." Chris says. I know he's only leaving to avoid me answering the question. He almost leans in to kiss me, but glances at Imogene and stops himself right in time. He just gives me a look that says it all: I love you
Then I watch as his sexy ass walks to the door.
"Bye Chris." Imogene says.
The look she is giving him, and right in front of me, makes me want to tear all of her hair out.
He just nods at her, opens the door, and shuts it.
I folded my arms as my eyes went back to her.
"So, what's been going on?"
I sighed. "Nothing much."
"You and Liam are okay?"
I nod my head.
"What about Chris?" She asks.
I almost scowl at her. I feel like a pit bull taking a claim on its territory. "He's very happy with his new girlfriend." I say.
I don't miss the disappointed look on her face. It's almost unbelievable that she'd show it right at me.
"I didn't know he had a girl." She says, her face showed an ounce of disbelief.
"Yeah, and she makes him, very, very happy. You should see them together, nothing but fire." I said, my voice holding a bit of a teasing tone.
Liam walks back into the room.
Imogene looks to him and he wraps his arms around her.
I was sickened by it, especially because she was just eye-fucking Chris not too long ago.
I shook my head. I hope very soon that Liam can see through this girl. I hope one day she does something stupid and he goes crazy and throw her out on her ass.
But that look in his eyes, it was so evident he was in love with her.
He's wrapped around her finger and she is loving that.
"She's staying for a little bit." Liam said.
"Why?" My voice was covered in disgust and I wasn't afraid to show it in front of her.
She looked to me, hearing the disgust and her eyes went to the floor.
"Because I said so. Don't start with that."
"Start with what?"
"That thing you always talk about."
"Oh what, about her fucking Chris?" I asked before stomping into the kitchen, with Liam right behind me. I could tell he was angry with me for showing my hate for his girlfriend.
He grabs my arm forcefully and makes me look at him. "You need to stop with this bullshit."
I snatch my hand away. "Why are you with her, Liam? You should have seen the way she was looking at Chris earlier like she still wanted him. She's a slut."
"No she is not. Do not call her that."
"But it's true!"
"Why are you doing this?" He leaned against the counter, a glare on his face. "Would I ever keep you away from someone you loved?"
"Yes!" That's all you do.
He shook his head. "No. You know I wouldn't. If it was someone like Chris for example then okay, but if you truly loved someone who was good and healthy for you, I would never keep them away from you."
"And she's good and healthy for you? She's a whore just like Chris is….was."
He shook his head. "She is nothing like Chris. He is a goddamn womanizer. You don't know him like I know him, Summer. You don't see how he treats girls and toss them aside. Imogene wouldn't do half of the shit that he does. Do me a favor, next time you see him, ask him who Rio is."
My eyebrows furrowed as he walked away from me. I made a mental note to actually ask him later.
"So what, you're taking her side? Are you forgetting she slept with someone you considered your brother since we were all little?"
He stopped in the doorway and sighed. "She apologized."
"So what? Where the hell is my brother? The Liam I know would never let a bitch back into his life after she did some shit like that."
"Don't call her a bitch."
"That's what she is."
"Are you jealous?"
My eyes widened. "Jealous?"
"I spent basically my whole life taking care of you because mom and dad didn't know how, and now that I'm showing someone else a bit more attention, you can't stand it because you're spoiled and you're needy as fuck. That shit was three years ago, Summer. Leave it alone. Jesus fucking Christ."
I stare at him, irritated that he still wanted her. She wasn't good enough for him. His protectiveness over who I was with was the same way I felt about him I guess. But still, Imogene didn't deserve him. "You're my big brother. I just want to protect you like you do me."
"And thank you. I'm grateful, sis, I always will be, but I can make my own decisions."
"If I would say those exact words to you about some guy you didn't approve of, you would kick his fucking teeth in, Liam."
He stayed silent, only because he knew I was right.
He turned without a word and left out of the room.
I hated him right now for being so stupid.
My phone rung and I grabbed it from my skirt pocket. I looked at it and it read 'dad'.
My stomach suddenly got that really nervous apprehensive feeling so I just shut it off.
I texted Chris that we needed to talk and put the phone up.
When Chris came to pick me up, he drove us to the secluded area we went to earlier today.
The air was still really warm, the full moon was up and the tide was coming in.
Chris sat in the driver's seat, I didn't know what the look on his face meant. "What are we talking about?" He asked as his eyes met mine.
His eyebrow raised.
"Who is she?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Not important."
"It's important to me. I just want to know why I have to hear about one of your girls from Liam's mouth."
He shook his head. "She's not my girl. You know who my girl is."
"I just want to know who the fuck she is and why is she so damn important?"
He sighed and looked away from me to the rushing water moving back and forth on the sand. "She was a dare."
He nods. "Rio was this girl that me and one of my friend's from the UK use to go to school with. Really innocent and she always had a big crush on me. I went to Vegas a month before I went off to Berlin and she was there. My friend, Ron, had dared me to fuck her. And you know how I am…well, was. I would fuck any girl who I'm attracted to.
We both knew how impossible it would be to get her into bed, being that we knew she was celibate until marriage."
My eyes widened. I think I knew where this story was going. "You didn't."
He looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry. It was a stupid Vegas thing. I got with her, married her that night, and then I fucked her. The next morning, I told her that I wanted an annulment. She was upset, thought that I was truly in love with her."
"Why would she be stupid enough to believe that in the first place?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. She was celibate, yet so easy. At least when it came to me she was easy."
I shook my head. "I can't believe you'd actually be heartless enough to do that." I said in a whisper.
"That's how I was back then. I'd break any girl's heart."
I nodded my head. "Even mine. Like Liam said."
He shook his head and made me look at him. "That's not true. That's how I was. I don't want anyone else. Those girls, they were…I don't know, an antidote for loneliness. That's it. You. You are so much more."
"How do I know you're not just spouting this bullshit to me, just to leave me alone the next night after you got your fill of me?"
"I won't ever get my fill, Summer. Never."
I stared into his eyes for a long moment. "Where is she now?"
"I don't know. I'm pretty sure she's gotten over me by now."
"After you took her virginity, married her and then left her? I doubt if she forgot any of that. I bet she's pissed."
"Yeah, but now she knows that things between me and her would have never worked out. If I would have stayed with that girl, I would have cheated on her. More than once, more than with one girl. I probably would have even made a fucking sex tape of me cheating and would send it to her."
I glared at him.
"I'm not good for anyone. No one. You see how much of a fucking asshole I am? And I don't deserve you either. But I'm so selfish, I don't want to stay away. I can't stay away." He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair and leaned back in his seat. "It's something about you, Summer. It's something I'm addicted to."
I looked down to my skirt. I didn't understand my feelings for Chris. He wasn't a bad person. He just did bad things. He's a heartbreaker, an asshole, and a player. He said himself that he would have made a sex tape of himself cheating on his wife and would send it to her. No guy I know would ever be so cruel. He's kind of a sadist. And yet, I was still in love with him. Yet, I was still attracted to him, emotionally, and physically. He was perfect on the outside, but he battles with anger and negligence on the inside. And I blame the negligence from his parents, for his cruelness right now.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked.
I took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I'm thinking…that I shouldn't be with you, and I should not want you as badly as I do." Liam was right. Chris was not healthy for me and my mind was telling me to leave him, to let him go back being the player he was and protect my heart. But my heart, and my body told me that I needed Chris.
"I don't blame you. I don't want to infect you with my darkness. Sorry if that sounds lame or whatever."
I shook my head. "No. I know what you mean."
We were quiet for a few moments. I didn't want to stop being with him. I loved him, and I felt safe with him regardless of how much he's hurt girls. "I don't want you to stay away from me. I want you, and I need you." I admitted. I was surprised I was able to say those words to him. I wasn't use to being so open.
Chris stares at me. "I need you too." He whispers.
I climb over to him so that I'm straddling his lap.
His hands go around my hips and he leans his forehead against mine as I take his face between my hands and shut my eyes.
He was all bad for me, but I couldn't help but love that.
And he was a jerk, he was everything a woman should hate, but I just couldn't stay away. And I wasn't going to.