Chapter 6: This argument may be our last
I was speaking on the phone to Lindsey and Leah after I bathed the twins and put them to bed.
“Is he home yet?” Leah asked.
“No. I’m getting worried. He never stays out this late. I feel so fucking empty right now.”
“I told you.” Lindsey said critically.
I sat on the arm of the couch.
“That’s your fifth time saying that. It didn’t help me then and it damn sure isn’t helping me now.”
Leah sighed. “Jenna, you should rest. It sounds like you’re getting stressed; you shouldn’t be stressed during the pregnancy. It can cause a miscarriage.”
I nodded. “I know. I know. That’s what my doctor said.”
There was a beeping noise. Someone was on the other line.
“Hold on, guys. Someone’s on the other line.”
I clicked onto the other line.
“What?” I asked.
“Robinson, your boyfriend is over here falling apart. He’s going through all of my beer.”
Oh fuck. I drove him to drink. Shit!
“Oh god. Please stop him, Sean.” I begged.
“He’s a grown ass man, Robinson, but I’ll try for you. He told me what happened.”
“I’m sure he did. Please convince him to come home, Sean. Please.”
“Alright. I’ll try.”
He hangs up and I hang up after him and go back to the other line.
Leah and Lindsey were talking about the twins.
“Guys? He is drinking over Sean’s house.”
“Damn.” Lindsey whispered.
“He’s going to come in here fucking wasted.”
“It’s going to be okay, Jenna. Take it from me; when you get out of an abusive relationship, you do whatever you can to stay in a relationship worth staying in.” Lindsey said.
Lindsey was one of the smartest people I know and she was dead right.
“I know, Lins. I’m tired, horny, hungry, and nauseous as hell, I just want to lie down.” I whispered.
“Alright.” Leah and Lindsey said simultaneously.
“Bye, Jen.” Lindsey said before getting off the line.
“Night’ prego.” Leah said before hanging up.
I walked to my bedroom and shut the door before stripping out of my dress and laying down onto the bed. I just want my baby to come back to me.
Things were getting kind of hazy. Who knew that beer could make me drunk.
“Still pissed or is the beer actually helping?” Sean asked.
His girlfriend, Svetlana came over and sat on him.
“It’s…helping.” I said slowly.
“Look, go home to Jenna, fuck her hard and you’ll be fine.”
“Sean, fucking is not the answer to everything.”
Sean smiled. “It is in my book. She’s sorry.”
“She doesn’t want to sell it. She hurt me, Sean.”
“Don’t be such a pussy, Hamilton. Just go home, talk to her and the both of you will be fine.”
“When did you become a fucking therapist?” I asked.
“Don’t know. It’s always just been part of my charm.”
I stood up.
“Fuck your charm.”
“About time you grew some balls, buddy.”
All I could think about was Jenna and how upset she made me.
I don’t think she truly realized how much she hurt me.
After we got together, got the twins, having Ana, seriously? She’s still doing this? I’m not going to let her do it.
I’m going to make her sell that goddamn house rather she likes it or not. I know she’ll always love Tristan but….I mean….come the fuck on, Jenna. Paying for his house? After all he’s done to you?
“I’m leaving.” I slammed the beer bottle on the table and ended up breaking it and it sliced through my hand. Damn that hurts.
“Fuck.” I studied the red on my hand and then look down at the broken beer bottle.
“I’ll get that-“
Sean shook his head. “Just go. Just go, Nate. You need Jenna.”
I nodded and was out the door on my way back home.
My eyes opened as I heard someone open the bedroom door. I sighed in relief. Thank god. Nate is safe.
I felt him get into bed and I immediately turned to him.
“No, Jenna. I’m tired as hell. Don’t want to talk right now.”
“Nate. I’m tired too. Please talk to me. Please. This is stressing me out.”
“Jenna, you pissed me off. I want to go to sleep. Please.”
Fuck. The hormones are kicking in.
My eyes water as he pushes me away. “Nate,” My voice cracks.
He doesn’t answer.
I just lay back into the pillows and close my eyes.
Damn…I really fucked up.
Before I know it, I’m asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, Nate is gone.
I can hear somebody slamming stuff around in the kitchen.
I grab my robe and tie it up as I quietly open the door and walk down the hall.
I peek into the twins’ room, they’re still sleeping.
I close their door back and go into the living room and then the kitchen.
Nate is feeling up a pot of water and he places it on the stove. He turns and looks at me for a second before going back to what he was doing.
“Nate, please talk to me. I feel so damn empty right now. Do you want to break up with me?” I asked.
He slowly turned to look at me. “No. You know I want you.”
“You’re treating me like otherwise.” I said as I pulled a chair out and sat down.
Nate sighed and leaned against the counter. “Tell me something, Jenna. How would you feel if I was paying for my ex-girlfriend’s house?”
“Of course I’d be a little upset about it but I’d let you do it if it meant that much to you.” I replied.
Yeah, its messed up that I’m doing this but it’s my money and doing this makes me happy.
“I want you to stop.” Nate said glaring at me.
“It’s not like I’m spending your money. I’m not going to stop.” I said.
Nate just ignored me the rest of the morning.
Every time I tried to talk to him, he’d walk away.
He was acting like a fucking two year old.
When it was a quarter to twelve in the afternoon, I went into the bedroom and he was laying down watching TV.
I stared at him. “I’m going over Leah and Ronnie’s house. Want to come with me?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“You’re really mad over this? I understand why but it’s not like it’s your money, Nate.”
“It’s not about the money, Jenna.”
“Then why are you mad?” I asked.
“Because I want you to get over it.”
“Get over Tristan?” I asked.
I can’t just get over Tristan.
“You feel like you owe him. You never owed him Jenna. Even when you two were smiling and getting married and all that shit in front of your parents, Sean, me , and Carl, we knew there was something wrong. We knew he abused you but you just kept standing right by his side.”
“Because I loved him.” I said.
“You don’t owe him anything. You feel like you’re doing yourself a favor by paying for his house but you’re just letting him take over…..even in his death. Just let go of it, Jenna. Save us all this time, and Let. Go.”
Nate was right. But regardless of what he said, I wanted to keep the house a little longer.
I just had to.
Until everything is set and stone.
“So what happens if I don’t stop?” I asked.
Nate stared into my eyes and shrugged. “You tell me.”
I glared at him feeling nothing but anger. Anger, hunger, lust, love….but mostly anger.
“I’ll tell you this, Nathan Hamilton. I can do with my money, whatever the fuck I want to. If I want to pay for my ex-husband’s house, I can do that. Fuck what you say.”
Nate looked at me surprised. I’ve never been this mad at him nor have he ever been this mad at me. All kinds of emotions were running through my head.
“Don’t cuss at me, Jenna. Go do what you got to do.”
I threw his keys at him and he cussed while I slammed the bedroom doors closed and walked out the front door and slammed it.
Not at all how I expected that conversation to go down.
The exact opposite actually.
I drove over to Leah’s house, got out of the car, and knocked on her door.
I was feeling really bad and I hate to come over here because I really don’t want to take this out on anyone else that I love.
Oh fuck. The waterworks.
Leah opened the door and I threw myself in her arms.
“Jenna, what’s wrong?” She asked patting my back.
I pulled myself away from her and walked into the house.
Leah followed me and sat down on the couch beside me.
Ronnie came in and he smiled at me and sat on the couch beside the one I was sitting on.
“It’s Nate. I told him about Tristan’s house and he got so angry and he’s ignoring me and it fucking hurts.”
“Wait…what about Tristan’s house?” Ronnie asked.
I explained to him what I’ve been doing.
“Why?” He asked.
I couldn’t explain. He wouldn’t understand. No one’s understood although it’s not hurting anyone…physically.
“Jenna, I’ll be the first person to say Tristan was an asshole.”
Actually Lindsey was the first to say that.
“Ronnie, it’s beyond me why I do it. Even after he hurt me.”
Ronnie slowly looked to Leah and she had a disappointed look on her face. Ronnie then looked back to me. “Well you’re not alone in the abusive ex department.” He said.
I looked to Leah.
“Only if you feel like talking about it.” I said.
She sat back and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
“I told you about my ex, Alex. He was my best friend’s brother. He was so good looking. I guess that’s what drew me in.
He was very abusive and he even….raped me right in front of Ronnie.”
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Oh my god.
Forget about my problems. I hugged Leah.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. I would have had his baby, but I had a still born.”
“What happened to him?” I asked.
Leah sighed. “My best friend, Katie, shot him in the head, and then killed herself that night.”
Once again, oh shit. Oh shit, Oh shit.
Jesus, Leah has been through way more than I thought.
“She killed herself because she killed her brother?” I asked.
“And because her brother raped her.” She said.
Okay, HOLY SHIT.
Leah really had to go through all that? My problem with Tristan was nothing compared to that.
“Damn, Leah, I mean…I don’t know what to say.”
“Katie was just everything to me. And I’ll admit, I sometimes go back to think about Alex. Only I don’t think about happy memories like you do with Tristan because there were no happy memories with Alex.”
“Yeah, I just…hate the fact that Tristan turned out just like that son of a bitch.” Ronnie said.
“I soon met Ronnie when I was pregnant with Alex’s baby. Fell in love almost instantly.” She smiled at Ronnie and he gave her back a dazzling smile.
My phone rings and I look at the caller ID which said “asshole.” I know who that is.
I pressed “send” and held the phone to my ear.
“Sean Kipser, what do you want?”
“Nate is still pissed. He was supposed to come home and fuck you but he still sounds pissed.”
I sigh and lean back against the couch.
“Stop playing therapist, Sean. You won’t succeed. I asked you to be my therapist before and it just made things worst with Tristan.”
“That’s only because I didn’t know what was going on between the both of you then. If I would have known that he was beating your ass daily, my advice would have been to get the hell out of there.”
“Too late for that.”
“Indeed. Mr. Niles has checked out.”
“Don’t be an asshole.”
“I just want you to stay with Nate. I actually like the both of you together. With Tristan, I don’t believe he deserved you but with Nate, he fell in love with you the second we first saw you.”
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“You must not have been paying attention to the way he looked at you when we first met you. Probably too blinded by Tristan.”
“So what do I do now, Dr. Sean Kipser?” I asked.
“Go home; make love to Nate and cuddle or whatever you boring couples do afterwards.” I can tell he’s smiling on the other line and I smile back.
“Thanks Sean.” I whisper.
“No prob, Robinson. Got to go fuck my girl. Bye kid.”
“Bye.” We hung up at the same time.
“You okay, Jenna?” Leah asked. I nodded and sighed.
“I’ll be fine. I mean…I have to go home, make up with Nate.
Deal with Tristan’s ex.
Wait seven and a half months until I can dye my hair back red.
Have Ana without being stressed.
Take care of my twins and make sure my dad’s okay. Other than that, I’m peachy fucking keen.”
Leah raised her eyebrow.
“Sorry, this pregnancy is making me go insane. I should get back home.”
“Alright, prego.” We hugged again and I hugged Ronnie.
Leah got up and went and disappeared into the kitchen while Ronnie walked me to the door.
“I never asked you this and this may be kind of stupid to ask but…..do you feel awkward around me because…you know…it’s my fault why Tristan is dead?”
Ronnie looked bewildered for a second. “Jenna, I’m pretty sure this is what all people have been saying but….he brought it on himself.
I would jump off a fucking building before I’d ever put my hands on Leah or any woman for that matter like that.
And you don’t deserve that.
He was always jealous because our parents kept me and not him.
He was one that always liked control.”
“Yeah. I could tell.” I mutter.
“But you know, I think you three, you, Lindsey, and Leah are amazing.
All of you entered an abusive relationship.
Bad shit happened; you all got rid of those idiots.
Got with someone better. Some women are kind of stuck on their ex.”
“Different. You’re not depressed, wishing he was back alive.”
Oh that’s true.
“Well, I think it’s good that you make Leah happy. She deserves it.”
“I’m glad you’re happy with Nate.”
We hugged each other and I waved as I left out of the house.
Now to go home, apologize to Nate. Make love, and we’ll be fine.
We’ll be perfectly fine.
I get into my car and drive off.
This fight was stupid, dumb, and retarded.
We just have to talk, fuck, and we’ll be fine.
I get distracted as I near my house and I hear police and fire truck sirens.
As I drive onto my street, I see my house up in flames. I bring the car to a hard halt and get out of my car and run towards it.
“Oh my god!” I notice Nate’s car still in the driveway and it was on fire.
Oh my god.
Tears came out of my eyes as a man grabs me and pulls me back.
My Nate. And my twins.
They were inside the fucking house still!