Chapter 5: Still, after four years
"I am now convinced that she's crazy." I said to Nate who was sitting on the bed staring at me as I paced around the room.
"Jenna calm down. Okay? She just probably heard somebody say your government name. It's not a big deal."
"She threatened me, Nate."
"What? And you believe her?"
"That bitch is planning on doing something."
Nate laughed and I glared at him.
"Jenna, Tristan died four years ago. Clementine will get over it."
"She was in love with Tristan. A lot. And him being dead makes her angry and she's going to try to kill me."
"You're being dramatic."
Okay. Clementine has officially pissed me off. She knows my real name but how?
Was she a fucking spy?
No that's retarded.
"The twins start daycare next week, Nate. What if she gets to them?"
Nate stood up and came over to me. "Listen, you're stressing yourself out over this. It's nothing to worry about. Clementine will not get to you because I won't let her. I promise you.
Do you trust me?"
"You know I do."
Nate smiles. "That's all it takes."
He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on top of mine.
"Don't worry about her. Okay? We have to buy some more stuff for the new baby. Hopefully, we know the sex soon." Nate said.
I looked up at him.
"Speaking of sex." I said smiling up at him.
"Leave it to you to think dirty at the most inappropriate times. You and your damn mood swings."
"It's one of the symptoms. I can't help it." I said shrugging.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.
He kissed me back while moaning in my mouth.
"I'm extremely sensitive. All you have to do is fuck me for a second and I'll explode."
"I'm glad to hear that because I feel like exploding inside of you right now." Nate whispered.
I nod and bite my lip while I bring him down with me onto the bed.
"We don't have long, I have to go to work and Lindsey will be here soon to help you pack."
"Let's make the most of it then." I whispered against his lips.
Nate unzipped his pants and took his cock out.
I was suddenly desperate for it.
Thank god I was wearing a dress.
Nate lifted it up and moved my panties aside and sunk into me. "Oh, Nate." I whispered.
"You're so damn wet, Jenna." He breathed out and then kissed me as he started to move.
I closed my eyes savoring the feel of him in me.
I gasped as he hit a spot inside of me making me whimper out his name. "I love you." I breathed.
"I love you so much, Jenna." He breathed back moving hard. Oh god. I'm about to cum.
No. I want it to last longer. Please. Please.
Before I can hold it in any longer, I explode around him while he pumps hard and I feel his warm release inside of me. He buries his face in the crook of my neck and sighs deeply. "Stay home. Please. I want to stay like this all day."
Nate lifts his head up. "Me too, baby. I have to go. I'm sorry." He slowly gets off of me, placing his cock back into his pants and smiled at me.
"I think you just want me to stay just so I can fuck you."
"Okay. That's partially true."
He kissed me and then pulled away.
"You'll have a girl's day with Lindsey and you'll be happy. I promise, beautiful."
As if on cue, Lindsey entered the room.
My dress was still lifted up and I quickly pulled it down.
"God, sorry. Should have known what I'd walk in on." Lindsey said partially covering her eyes.
"No. It's fine. We were just uh…" Nate didn't finish. He bit his lip as he looked down at me and I smiled flirtatiously at him.
"Walk with me to the door." He said.
I got up and followed him to the door.
He grabbed his keys from the table. "Damn, I want to stay. Looking at you lying on the bed. I really want you again."
"Then take me. Play hooky and take me."
"Calm down, beautiful. I'll be back here and you can ride me as hard as you want to….all night." He whispered as he kissed me.
When did Nate get so kinky?
"I won't complain." He said as he kissed me again before leaving out.
He makes me hotter than July.
I turn to look at Lindsey who had a smile on her face. "You and him are the sexiest couple I've ever seen."
"Thank you. I think."
She smiled and motioned with her head at the cardboard boxes in the corner.
"So did those papers ever get signed?"
"No. Nate lost them. Who knows how long we'll be here?"
"What are the papers for exactly?"
I hesitate. "Well they're for Nate. Something about moving the business to Florida but they …..they aren't the real reason why we're staying. I'm kind of….stalling."
"Stalling? For what?" She asked.
Fuck. I didn't want to tell anyone about this.
"If we move to Florida, I'll have to sell Tristan's house and I can't do that."
Lindsey's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
"Jennacia Renee Robinson, You still pay for your ex-husband's house?"
"Do not tell Nate."
"And Nate doesn't know? Oh my god. Are you out of your mind?"
"I can't bring myself to just sell his house like that, Lins. So many memories."
"Yes, him raping you. Good fucking memories, Jenna." She pushed her fingers through her blonde hair.
I bite my lip and close my eyes.
"I didn't think you'd be so pissed about it." I opened my eyes.
"Because Nate is a really good guy and it'll crush him if he found out that you were still paying for Tristan's house."
"I can't let go of him, Lindsey. Not of his house."
"So, how can you expect Clementine to do so if you can't?" She asked.
I stared at her. Damn. I hate it when she's right.
Now I understand why Clementine has so much hatred towards me because in a way, it is my fault Tristan is dead.
And his death crushes me.
And she was madly in love, so I knew it crushed her also. If only I could sit and talk to her. But I know she won't want to talk to me. She's too pissed.
It's been a week since the last time I've seen her and I get more and more scared each day.
Not for my life, but for Ana's.
"None of us will ever fully be over him."
"I am." Lindsey said simply.
"You never liked him."
"And that's his fault. He used to be okay. Back when I first met him. Back when he was nothing but sex on a stick. And now look….he transformed into a douche bag and look at what being a douche bag gets you. Shot by a hot dad who is also a mobster."
"Lindsey, my dad has nothing to do with the goddamn mob. Okay?"
"But he looks like he is and god, that's so fucking hot."
"My dad will never be interested in any other girl. That's what he said but honestly, I'm fine with rather or not he dates. Everybody has to move on….eventually."
"And yet you can't. Have you been paying for his house all these years?"
I look anywhere but her and she clicks her tongue. "So brunettes are dumb too."
I glare at her.
"So, I'm not going to pack? We're not going to Florida?"
"We are. I just have to find out what I'm going to do with Tristan's house."
"Bulldoze that gorgeous piece of shit. Jenna, you have absolutely no reason to keep paying for the house. This is going to hurt but your psycho ex-husband is never coming back. It's his psycho ex-girlfriend that you have to worry about now. Okay?"
"Nate doesn't think so. "
Leave it to Nate to keep cool at all times.
I recall what April told me that day.
"I have the feeling she was indicating a threat….to you."
Why? Well I knew why but why couldn't she just get a carton of ben and Jerry's ice cream ,cry her eyes out while watching a sad love story and call it a fucking night?
"You have to tell Nate about it. Who knows? He might be okay with it."
"Yeah, and he might not. I prefer to keep it in the dark."
"Has he ever lied to you?" She asked.
"How would I know that if he's never confessed to anything?" I asked.
"Jenna, I'm trying to help you. For some reason, you can't get your ex out of your head, and you're paying for his house and I am trying to make you see sense. This will absolutely crush Nate if he finds out."
"Exactly. So why tell him?"
"You know what? Fuck it, Jenna. Have it your way. Have this big fat disgusting elephant in the room." She said shrugging her shoulders.
I'm okay with having an elephant in the room.
"Okay." I replied.
"Jenna. Come on. Just tell him."
"If I tell Nate about this, he's going to want to kill me."
"No. Nate is a sweet guy. He's just going to simply say "Stop paying for it" and then he's going to move on with his life."
"How would you know that?"
"Because Nate seems to be that kind of guy."
"Okay. Okay. I'll tell him."
Kaylie came walking into the room. And Haylie walking in right behind her. "Mommy…. eat." She said in a small voice.
I picked her up and kiss her fat little cheek before putting her in her high chair.
I looked down to Haylie who was holding her hands up.
"I'll take care of devil spawn number two." Lindsey said smiling.
She picked Haylie up and brought her into the kitchen with me and Kaylie.
"What are you going to make them?"
"They love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and milk together."
"I'll make them." Lindsey volunteered.
"No. No. Sit. You have to deal with three babies day after day."
"Alicia is no baby. I think she's having sex now."
"I can imagine why you'll be pissed at that fact."
"She's becoming just like me. Which scares me shitless."
"There's nothing wrong with you, Lindsey."
After we were done feeding the twins, we gave them a bath, and went shopping.
I opened the door to the house and Nate was sitting on the couch watching TV."
"Wow," I looked to Lindsey. "Were we gone that whole time?"
"All damn day." Lindsey answered rolling the twins' stroller in.
"I have to stop doing that." I whispered.
Nate smiled as he got up and kissed both of the twins.
"I have to talk to you." I said to him.
He nodded while picking both Haylie and Kaylie up in his arms.
"I'll call you later." Lindsey said giving me a look.
"Bye Nate." She said.
He waved at her and brought the twins back to the bedroom.
I reluctantly followed him.
Lindsey was gone before I can run to her for help.
I took a deep breath and followed Nate into the room.
The twins were sitting on our bed playing with each other talking in a weird language.
Nate smiled at them and then came over to me. "What's wrong?" He asked.
He kissed me softly and brought me into his arms. "Just tell me." He whispered.
I sighed as he pulled away from me.
"Well. I kind of….um…I'm sorry."
"For what? What happened?" He asked. His gray eyes showed true concern.
"I never sold Tristan's house." I whispered.
Nate stared at me not moving. Only his look of concern changed. "You what?" He asked.
"I never sold his house. I just…couldn't."
Nate inhaled and closed his eyes and opened them back. "Oh my goodness. Oh my fucking goodness. Are you serious?"
"I'm sorry, Nate."
"After Four years. After what he done to your mother, your unborn child and you, you're still paying for his house? Jenna, what the hell is going through your mind?" He walked away from me into the living room.
I followed him.
"Nate, I can't tell you how sorry I am. But I cannot let go. I just can't sell it."
"Yes you can and you're going to."
"No. I'm not."
"You know, I get that he's your first and all but do you seriously think for one second that I'm okay with this?"
"No. I knew you wouldn't be. I will not stop it though. It's not like I'm using your money to pay for it. When Tristan died, I got all of his money and that's what I'm using."
"After four years Jenna. You and Clementine are both crazy."
My jaw dropped. He put me in the same category as that blonde whore?
"Tristan is dead. Not coming back. So why the fuck would you pay for his house?" I never saw him so angry. I didn't know what to say. I knew why I was doing it but if I explained, no one would ever understand.
"Some part of me still loves him and I go to his house and think about the good times and it makes me happy sometimes."
"He'll always come first dead or not is that what you're saying?" Nate asked.
I just stared at him.
No. That wasn't what I was saying.
I don't think it was.
Nate sighed. "Guess that you feel like me and the twins and even Ana was a mistake. "
"No. I don't. You're starting to…."
"To what? Sound like Tristan? Maybe that's what you want."
"No. I only want you."
Nate grabbed his jacket from the couch.
"Where are you going?"
"For a drive. I'll be back."
"Nate!" I hugged him but he pushed me away.
"Don't, Jenna. Just don't." He slipped his shoes on, grabbed his keys and opened the door.
He slowly turned to me. "Make a choice, Jenna. Me….or the guy who killed your mother and your unborn child."
He slammed the door shut and I burst out into tears. Oh what the fuck is wrong with me?
I placed my hand on my stomach and close my eyes.
Ana always calms me down whenever I'm upset.
Shit. The twins.
I walk back into the bedroom and the twins are still playing with each other.
Smiling. They have my brunette hair and Nate's gray eyes. They have my pale skin. Nate's lips. My mother's nose.
They are magnificent.
More beautiful than both me and Nate.
No I don't regret them. I don't regret Ana. And I don't regret Nate.