Author's Note: Sorry to say but there's one more chapter after this. Thank you guys for reading this. It really meant alot to me and I'm planning on writing another novel soon Hopefully it becomes as popular as sex toy and this story. We'll see. Thank you all again for reading. Also sorry forsuch a short chapter.
Chapter 9: Can't Love You Back
I kept my eyes on the floor when his dad got off of me. I took a deep breath holding back my tears. I had to leave. I had to leave now. I heard him pulling his clothes on. It was as if everything was in slow motion. Every breath I took. Every time my heart beat. It was slow. He grabbed my hair and yanked my head up to make me look at him. "You were amazing, darling." He placed his lips on mine and then walked out without another word. I felt horrible. It was worst than what Shane does. This was a harsh punishment that I didn't deserve. I got up slowly feeling sore and just....disgusting. I heard footsteps and I cried knowing that his dad wasn't done with me. But Shane came in and I felt a strange sense of relief. "I'm so sorry, Haley." He picked me up. I was too upset to have a surprised reaction that he actually called me by my real name. He sat me on his bed downstairs and began to run bathwater for me. He placed me in the warm water without a word and began to wash me. I kept my eyes closed. But I could tell he was looking at my face the whole time. When he was done, he covered me in a towel and laid me in his bed. He laid me down in the bed and turned off the light as he walked out of the room closing the door.
I didn't know why he was being so nice all of a sudden. But it made me slightly happy. I had a dream and it was amazing. I was laying in my own bed at my house and my mother was smiling down at me. But that's how I knew it was a dream. Because somehow in my dream, I was aware that she was really dead.
When I woke up, Honey was looking down at me. That was it. Honey reminded me of my mother. Maybe that's why I feel so close to her. "Are you okay?" She asked. Remorse was filling up her voice. "Yeah." I answered. A small smile was on her face. "We're going to escape. This time, this plan is guaranteed to work." I shook my head. "No, Honey. Not this time. I'm done trying. We're just going to make it bad for ourselves." She shook her head. "No. This plan is better. I guarantee." She sounded excited.
"Okay. Tell me what it is." I said. She shook her head. "You'll see. Just make sure Shane has sex with you tonight. And when you two is about to, give me a signal. Say something like 'Love'.
"I'm sore. And why would I say 'Love' of all things?"
"Would you rather stay here for the rest of your life?" I shook my head. "Sometimes it can take a little pain to get what you want." She was right. Honey was right. I would prepare for the pain. "He's been acting nicer to me." I commented. She rolled her eyes as if I was late. "He loves you. I keep telling you." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. Shane suddenly came into the room. "And if I do, that's my business." He said. He glared at Honey. She looked down to the floor. She's been more scared of him since that day he raped her in the basement.
"Haley, you have to take the birth control pills. I'll get them for you." He said. Honey snapped her head up looking back and forth between me and Shane. He slowly turned and left out the room. She looked at me and nodded. "Yes. He definitely loves you. He has never ever never called a girl by her real name. Ever." I almost heard a hint of jealousy in her voice but her face looked shocked. I shrugged.
Her face suddenly became serious. "Don't." She whispered.
"Don't what?" I asked.
"Fall for him. It's easy to but you can't. Promise me you won't, Haley."
I nodded. "I promise I won't." Honey nodded once as Shane came back into the room. "Leave us." He demanded. Honey glanced at me once before she left out of the room. Shane closed the door and handed me the pill and a glass of water. I took the pill and drank most of the water. I sat down it on the night stand next to the bed and looked at him. "I'll get some clothes for you." He went to the dresser. I wasn't in the mood to wear fishnets or heels or G-strings. He brought out a white t-shirt and black shorts. It was different from what I normally wear but I didn't argue. He gave me a pair of panties and a bra and I slipped the clothes on. He stared at me and smiled. "I want to talk to you." He said. I nodded and sat down looking up at him. He sat beside me and placed his hand on my thigh and his green eyes looked into mine.
He took a deep breath. "This wasn't something I always wanted to do. My father basically forced me into this and soon.....I was addicted. Addicted to being an ass to every girl. I just became heartless and sick. And that's what you think when you see me." He had that right.
"I don't mean to be rude but what is your point?" I asked. He bit his lip and looked down to the floor. "I'm sorry but I can't ever let you go." I looked to the floor also. "Why?" I asked.
He didn't answer. But I knew the reason. "Because I love you." He admitted. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. "Ever heard of the saying if you love someone let them go?" He looked at me. "I think that is the stupidest fucking saying. It makes no sense." He said. He was irritated.
There was no use. Well maybe there was, I had a little hope left. Honey said she had a plan. I hope it would be successful. "I don't love you, Shane. I might have if none of this would have happened. You forced me into sex way before I was ready. You've scared all the love out of me. Now I feel.......numb."
"I still need you here with me rather you love me or not." I didn't answer. I knew he was going to say that. I was sick of this. This was too much especially for a sixteen year old. "Well could you at least promise me that you might consider it one day?" He shook his head. "I can promise you that my dad will never touch you again." I was at least grateful for that.
When it was dinner time, the girls all glared at me because I was the only girl that actually had on comfortable clothes. It made me nervous. Shane sat next to me. There was spaghetti and salad and garlic bread on the side. Along with wine. When it was around ten o clock, Shane gestured for me to follow him into his room. We just laid there in silence and it shocked me. I was surprised that he didn't want to just get right to it. He got up and turned the light off and got back onto the bed with me. I turned to my side and he held me in his arms. He started to kiss my neck. Honey told me that we had to have sex in order for the plan to go through. So I didn't stop him from doing what he wanted. His hands gently rubbed on my thighs. I closed my eyes.
This would be over soon. He turned me on my back and looked down at me. "This time, I will make you cum." I had no idea but him saying that turned me on slightly. I was disgusted with myself. Being turned on by a guy that kidnapped and raped me repeatedly. He made me sit up and he slid my shirt up over my head. His eyes never left mine. He wasn't as agressive as he normally is. His touches were gentle and so was his lips. I was nervous and scared that he'll hurt me like he normally does. My heart pounded hard in my chest. "I'm not going to hurt you. I promise, Haley." Even the sound of my name didn't phase me out of my nervous mood.
He's already hurt me since the day he kidnapped me. He got me out of my clothes while still staring me in my eyes. Should I say 'Love' now? Or should I wait until......he's inside of me? Once his clothes were off, he was on top of me moving pieces of my hair from my face. "It's not going to hurt this time." He said. I nodded. Although I only partially trusted him. 1/18 trusted him. He stuck his fingers inside of me. It hurted only a little. I was still sore from what his father did earlier.
But what he was doing to me felt good. I felt myself getting wet. I closed my eyes. I didn't want this. But my body was saying that I did. "Shane......please..." He stopped my sentence by kissing me as he pushed in. I moaned unexpectantly and he smiled at me. Maybe that's what he wanted the most. A reaction. I dug my nails into his back and closed my eyes. He loved me even if he didn't know how to show it and he was really sweet, when he wanted to be. This felt so good. He was right. He can bring pleasure to me whenever he felt like it. And he can make it hurt whenever he wanted to. I felt his lips on mine and I kept my eyes closed. When he pulled back he moaned 'Haley' in my ear. It was just crazy how this twenty something year old man was in love with me.....a sixteen year old girl. I let out a sigh. "Love." I said. He stopped and looked at me confused and then smiled warmly at me and kissed me again while thrusting in and out. My hips went up to match his. I closed my eyes again and tried to keep my mouth shut. I didn't want him to know that I liked the feeling of him inside of me. It'd make me a sick person. When I opened my eyes, they widened as I saw Honey walking towards me and Shane with a knife in her hand. Her eyes more than completely focused on Shane.