Chapter 5:Mixed Emotions
S Toy: Chapter 5
I got up and got dressed. What are Katie and Alex going to say about the way I look? I had bruises all over my face. I knew Alex wouldn't care. But Katie was a different story. Her reaction was going to be shocked, scared, concerned and anger. I used my key to open the door and I walked in. Carsia was sitting on Alex's lap on the couch. His eyes stared into mine. I was already upset and angry and I had to walk in to see this. I almost broke down and cried....but I composed myself. Carsia turned to look at me. "Hey, Liza." Carsia smiled. I took a deep breath and tried my hardest to hold myself back from ripping out her throat. "It's Leah." I said. She turned her attention to the TV. "What happened to your face?" He asked. I shook my head. I saw a flash of anger in his eyes. He hated it whenever I lied to him. It was like he saw right through me. And that was scary because even Katie couldn't do that. Alex was the only one. He placed both his hands on both sides of Carsia's waist and leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She smiled, got up and went upstairs. "Come here." He told me. I slowly walked over and stopped in front of him. "What happened?" He asked. Think of something. But would it really hurt to tell him what Nate did? Probably not. "Um," I was on the verge of tears. "I was walking home and these people robbed me and jumped me." Even I didn't believe me. But Alex's face turned into a smile.
I looked at him in disbelief. "Why are you smiling?" A small laugh escaped his lips. "Because........It's just funny because I can actually imagine that shit happening." He laughed again and sighed and looked back at me. "What did they steal?" He asked. His expression and tone was suddenly serious. "What?" I asked. "You said they robbed you. What did they take?" I had to think of something. Anything. "The only thing you had on you when you left was my lighter. I swear to god, Leah, you better tell me that you still have it." I looked down and bit my lip . I've always had possession of Alex's lighter. He always lost it every five seconds so I told him to start giving it to me. "They didn't take the lighter." All the lies were starting to get ridiculous.
"I don't believe you. Did. they. Take. My. Lighter?" He asked again. I shook my head but I couldn't prove that I still had it because I left it on my dresser. I bit my bottom lip. Alex touched my thigh and then rubbed it. I looked at him confused. His nails dug into my thigh. I tensed up and looked at him. "I want my fucking lighter." He said clenching his teeth. I grabbed onto his hand and pulled it off of me. I stood up and looked down at him. "It's at home. I'm not walking all the way back there. Plus it's like ten o' clock at night." Alex stood up. His piercing eyes looking down into mine. "Yes you are." He assured me. I shook my head. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the door. "Get off of me." I said trying to snatch my arm away. He opened the door and brought me outside. "Come back here as soon as you get my lighter. You understand me?" He asked. I nodded and he slammed the door in my face. I closed my eyes and breathed out deeply. I hated myself. Why the fuck did I let him walk all over me? I'm so stupid! I ran home as fast as I could but stopped when I saw Nate's car in the driveway. My eyes immediately watered as I stopped in the yard. I couldn't do this. I couldn't. I was about to turn and leave but if I love Alex and I would take even the greatest risk for him.
I slowly walked up to the door and turned the knob. My objective was to get in here, grab the lighter and get out without Nate knowing. I walked through the living room. His keys were on the coffee table. I sighed and slowly walked up the stairs. As quietly as I could, I heard somebody talking upstairs. Fuck.....Fuck......Fuck. I took a deep breath and continued walking. Butterflies were in my stomach. I've never been so scared in my life. Once I got to the top of the stairs, they made a creaking sound. Whoever was talking suddenly stopped. My heart was beating fast and I felt sweat on my forehead. I peeked down the hall and saw Nate on the phone. My bedroom was about seven steps away. I quickly crawled into it. Finally. I stood up and grabbed his black and red lighter that was on my dresser. I placed it in my pocket. I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I hid behind my door. The footstep stopped in front of my door. I saw his shadow. Oh my god this wasn't happening. My heart was beating so fast. I felt dizzy. The footsteps walked away and I sighed quietly in relief. But I wasn't completely out of the woods yet. I pushed my door a little and peeked out of my room I didn't see Nate. I let out a shaky breath and quietly walked down the stairs. So close to the door. I finally reached the knob and forced the door open. I closed it and ran.
Nate was my stepfather. I never knew where he worked and neither did my mother. But from everything I saw, he treat her right. He's thirty five years old and an atheist. We use to be basically best friends. He was almost like a real father to me.......until my mother died. That's when everything changed. I hated his guts now. He was the most fucked up person I ever knew. And still is. I opened the door to Alex's and Katie's house and walked in. I caught my breath and dug into my pocket. Alex was on the floor looking at the TV. He paid no attention to me. "Here." I said as I threw his lighter. He caught it without even looking at me. Katie came downstairs. "I didn't think you were coming-" She had a shocked expression on her face as she looked at me. "Uh....Leah? What in the hell happened to your face? She walked over to me and touched the bruise on my cheek with her finger. "Nothing." I whispered. Katie tilted her head in curiosity. Her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms.
"Nothing." I said again. "You want to stay over? You can borrow my clothes for school tomorrow." I nodded. Like Nate would really care where I was. I was almost never at home. "I'm going to take a shower." I said slowly walking up the stairs. I know I already took one but I still felt gross. I just kept thinking of Nate's rough hands on my body. The fact that he didn't care he was hurting me. My screams and cries didn't affect him. I hope he has fucking nightmares. The water washed down my body and once again, I sat on the floor of the shower and cried. But something more than weakness I felt was anger, rage, the feeling of wanting to kill. I suddenly heard the door to the bathroom open. I was still sore and I was in no mood for Alex's aggressiveness. I stood up and pulled the curtain back and saw Alex standing there naked, looking back at me. "Alex, I'm tired." I said in a shaky voice. He sighed and got in with me anyway. He pulled the curtain back in front of the shower and looked down at me. His eyes were darker than usual. He placed his hands on my waist. "I'm sorry for everything I did today." He said. My hands went up to both sides of his face and I leaned up. His lips touched mine softly at first. Then, his tongue slipped into my mouth and I pulled him closer to me. His lips went down to my neck and he sucked my flesh that was there. I gasped and moaned.
I felt his cock grow hard against my stomach. "Where's Carsia?" I breathed. "Don't worry about it." He said. His lips went back to mine. His taste was intoxicating. I dug my nails into his back. I loved his smell. I loved everything about him. He was....perfect. I closed my eyes as his lips explored my body. He grabbed my ass and lifted me up and held me against the shower wall. I grabbed on to the towel rack. Some part of me was scared. I remember Nate holding me down. I tried to get that thought out of my head. But it was hard. I suddenly felt Alex slide inside of me. I screamed and he immediately slid out and backed away from me. I was in so much pain. Still sore from earlier. "What the hell is wrong with you?' He asked. I shook my head and sat down on the floor and cried. Alex looked down at me. "I don't know what's wrong with you. God you're so fucking irritating." He pulled the curtain back and stepped out. I heard him grab something and then he walked out of the bathroom. I was in so much bullshit that I didn't want to be in. The room felt dizzy. I managed to stand up and grabbed the soap and rubbed it over my body. Once I got out, I peeked into Alex's room and saw him lying on his bed reading something. He only had pajama pants on. I opened the door a little more and looked at him. He glanced at me and then looked back at whatever he was reading. "If you're not going to fuck me, get out." I bit my lip and walked in a little more. "I'm sorry...I just-I'm just in pain." I explained to him. His eyes looked at mine. "Someone else has been fucking you?" He asked. I shook my head. He'd be angry if I admitted that to him. "It really doesn't matter rather or not you're sore. I really don't care. If you're not going to give me your pussy tonight, you can leave. I'll get it from Carsia once she gets back." He said not looking at me. Maybe we could have sex. As for the pain, I'll just have to suck it up. Hell. Why the hell not? I was already wet from earlier in the shower. Thanks to Alex.
"Okay." I said. Alex finally met my eyes. He threw his book down and got up to walk to me. His hands grabbed onto my towel and he pulled it open. He let it fall to my feet. My body was pressed against the door and him. He kissed my lips again and felt myself getting lost in it. His hands brushed over my pussy. I whimpered. His lips were on my neck again and I breathed deeply and closed my eyes as he left a trail of kisses down my body. He could be sweet when he wanted to. He licked my nipple and my body shuddered, I was about to cry. It was almost too much pleasure. His lips brushed my stomach and then went back to my lips. He touched every intimate part of me and I felt like this wasn't going to be us fucking. It seemed like we were going to be making love. We've never made love. It was all about quickies and fucking and blow jobs and fingering and sucking and licking. I know that all sounds like heaven but I rather make love. Make love to the point where it takes hours for me to come down from my orgasm. I wanted him to make love to me to the point where I scream to the top of my lungs in pleasure and end up losing my voice. Alex picked me up once again and brought me over to the bed. I looked up at him and his dark eyes stared back down at me. "I love you." I whispered. And as usual, he didn't say it back. It didn't upset me. I was used to it now. But the first time I told him and he didn't say it back I got angry and we got in an argument. That was the first time he ever hit me. But now.......I was dealing with the Alex I fell in love with. He got up and pulled his pants down. He wasn't wearing any underwear. His cock was already out and erect. I smiled. He smiled back at me and climbed back on top of me.
I knew this was going to hurt. I didn't expect much pleasure from it. I want him to have pleasure from it. "Wait." He said getting up. "Turn over on all fours." He said. I did what he said. We never did it like this before. It was new to me. "I would actually prefer to fuck your ass but I know you'll be sore for days afterwards." He said. I'm already sore now so it wouldn't make a difference really. "I'm just going to fuck you from the back. Okay?" I pushed my ass against his cock as my answer. He groaned and grabbed my hips. I felt his cock enter me. Ow. Ow. Fuck. I hid my cries of pain by biting down on my lip. He lifted my upper body up so that my back was against his chest. His hand slid back and forth against my clit as he thrusted into me. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. I felt him kiss my neck. Lust shot through my body from each painful but pleasure filled thrust. His hand put more pressure on my clit. "Oh Fuck! Alex!" I cried out as his thrust became faster. Each one bringing me closer and closer to my climax. One of his hands pulled my hair. I heard him groan in my ear. I loved the sound. It confirmed that he was enjoying this as much as I was. I still felt sore but now.....it just added to the pleasure. I can already tell that I wasn't going to last long.
Alex started panting. "Ugh, I'm about to cum, Leah." He told me. I was close too. So close. His finger flicked my clit and my body jerked. Oh fuck. That familiar feeling of my orgasm was coming. I could feel it. His cock slammed in and out of me and he pulled my hair harder. I closed my eyes. I felt him cum but he didn't stop. He wasn't going to stop until I came. He wasn't going to have to go on for long. The most intense feeling of pleasure came from my pussy. Oh my fucking goodness. I came harder than I had in a while. My body went limp as I fell back onto the bed. I laid on my stomach while my head was turned to the side. My hair was covering my face. My breathing was heavy and fast. Alex laid next to me and rubbed my back. My breathing finally calmed down and I turned my head to him.
"You're going to have to leave soon. Carsia will be back soon." I nodded and slowly got up. I couldn't do this anymore. I guess I was blinded by the lust that he gives to me. But Also the Love. I guess that's what I call it. He hated me but he obviously loved fucking me. And he'd make me do anything and I guess that's what I was scared of. The door suddenly opened and Carsia stood in the doorway glaring at me and Alex. Oh Shit.