Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I was in a rush.
There was a pain in my back as I was thrown against the wall. There was lust in his eyes. Violent Lust. Nate pinned my hands against the wall and stared me in my eyes. "You're a sick child." His breath was horrible. "Get off of me." I said. He shook his head. His hands grabbed onto my shirt and he tried to force it over my head. I slapped him and pushed him away from me. He forced me back against the wall and slapped me back. I fell onto the floor crying and holding my cheek. He grabbed my legs and slid me over to him and positioned himself above me. I already knew what this meant. "No!" I yelled.
He forced his lips onto mine and rubbed his body against mine. I wanted my mother. I wanted her here with me so bad. "I've always loved you, Leah." He said. "Fuck you!" I cried. He covered my mouth with his hand. My body shook with fear. "I fucking hate you!" I cried. He grabbed my arms and pinned them to the floor. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to watch him as he violated me. He raised his fist and punched me repeatedly. My face was stinging and burning. I felt the blood rush down. I coughed up something. It was blood. "Shh." He whispered. He raised my shirt up and then unbuttoned my pants. "Don't." I choked out.
I reached down to stop him but everything was turning in my vision. I felt my pants slide off. "Wait." I whispered reaching up to stop him. My conciousness was slowly slipping away. I felt my underwear disappearing next. I gasped. I heard a zipper slowly unzipping and I hear fabric moving. His face came back into my vision as he laid on top of me. I felt him enter me and I started hitting him. "Get off!" I yelled. My arms were once again pinned to the floor. "I love you, Leah." He moaned out. I closed my eyes and let him violate me. I had no choice. "Oh god, Leah." He moaned pushing in further. I let my conciousness slip away.
When I opened my eyes, everything was out of focus and I felt nauseous. I gasped and sat up. I felt dried blood on my face. It was dark outside and I was still laying on the livingroom floor. I touched my face. Not all of the blood was dry. I got up slowly. I felt........sore and disgusting. I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door closed. I looked into the mirror and didn't even recognize myself. Why do people like hurting me? What did I do wrong? I got into the shower which burned. It burned so badly. I hit the shower wall and screamed and sunk down to the shower floor and cried. I needed to get away from here. I needed to leave now. I let the water wash the blood off of me. I used my rag to scrub myself good. Everywhere and yet I still felt dirty. Karma. I shouldn't have started anything with Alex. Another girl's boyfriend and now.....god was punishing me. I washed up with the soap which burned when it sunk into the cuts and bruises. I could hardly stand.
I turned the water off and got into my room. I closed my door and laid in my bed. I had sex with Alex everyday and even with his rage and disrespect, I never feel as messed up as I do now. My phone rang and I wasn't going to answer it. But then again, Alex hates it when I don't answer his calls. I reached over and grabbed the phone. I pressed send and placed it at my ear. "Hello?" I asked in a shaky voice. "Leah, you said you'd be back here. Where are you?" Alex demanded. "I-I'm at home. I can't move. I'm in pain." I said closing my eyes. A tear slipped down my cheek. "I really don't care. Come here, now." He hung up the phone. I sighed and turned over on my back which still kind of hurted. I threw my phone against the wall and it shattered onto the floor. I hated myself. What the hell is wrong with me? I let men take advantage of me. Why? Why do I do this to myself? I sat up in my bed. I fucking hate this. It's been going on for years. It has to stop.