Author's Note: So this chapter will probably be boring but you always have to have a boring chapter before shit starts getting real. Chapter 13 is.........going to be extremely crazy. You'll see.
Chapter 12: On the Inside
I came back from the doctor's appointment and she told me everything was fine. She even gave me an ultrasound picture. I didn't know what the hell it looked like but there it was. Inside me and living. Abortion would be stupid. Right? Keeping it wouldn't be bad. Would it? And Ronnie did say that he would help me raise him or her. I hope it's a girl. I would want to name her something that's uncommon.
I was sitting on the couch drinking water. Unfortunately. Ronnie makes me drink water nonstop. But I was happy to know that he cared for my health which meant that he cares for the baby's health.
Me and Ronnie's relationship has been progressing fast. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. As soon as he walks in the door, I jump on him instantly.
It was hard not to. I looked at the time. It was going on twelve and Ronnie was supposed to be here at least two hours ago. I held the phone tight in my right hand hoping he would call soon.
The door suddenly opened and I quickly got up. Before I could speak, my mouth dropped open. Ronnie had blood on his face. "Holy fuck, what happened?" I walked up to him and placed both of my hands on his cheeks. "Alex." He muttered.
"What?" I asked. "I don't how the hell he knew where the hell I worked but I was placing some more beer in the refrigerators and out of no where, I'm being pushed to the floor. I look up and see that fucker staring down at me. Him and his faggot ass friends jumped me. Plus stole some beer out of my store. I swear to god......."
He shook his head. There was blood coming out of both of his nostrils and his right eye was black. I dropped my hands as he walked away from me and into the bathroom. "We should go to the police." I suggested. Ronnie shook his head and turned to me. "Fuck that, Leah. I think......we need....to get a gun."
My eyes grew wide. Was he serious? I mean I hated Alex and I wanted something bad to happen to him, but was killing him really necessary?
"Ronnie, don't be stupid."
"No, Leah don't you be stupid. You know you want him dead just admit it."
" Ronnie, you could go to jail."
"It doesn't fucking matter. He's raped you and hit you, how could you not want to kill him?" Ronnie asked. I never saw him so angry. He grabbed some tissue and turned on the faucet. He then, placed the tissue on his nose. "I can't believe Alex did this to you." I said. Ronnie sighed.
"Leah, this guy, is a fucking lunatic. What the hell is his problem?" He asked looking in the mirror. "Me. I'm his problem. I have a feeling that he wants me back or........dead." I answered. I never actually knew what it was that Alex wanted. I knew the kind of person he was but what he wants? I never knew.
"He's not going anywhere near you anymore." He promised. I leaned on his shoulder. "Let's talk about this later." I suggested. Ronnie wiped the blood from his nose and turned to me. "Okay. Okay. I'll leave it alone for now, but I'm not playing about the gun." He said with a serious expression on his face.
"I know you're not. Come on." I grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the couch with me. I picked up the ultrasound picture and gave it to him. Ronnie looked at it and rotated the picture in his fingers. "Uh Leah?"
"Hmm?" I asked. "Can I be honest with you for a second?" I nodded. "Uhh. I have no idea what the hell I'm looking at." He said staring at the picture. I chuckled. "It's my ultrasound picture. It doesn't look like much right now. I heard her heart today."
"Her?" Ronnie asked. I shrugged. "I hope." I answered. He shook his head. "The fact that you want a girl means you're going to have a boy." I nodded. I knew that's how it always went. Fate is Fate.
"That's what my mom would have wanted." He slowly looked into my eyes. I already knew what he wanted to know.
"Car accident. She was driving drunk. I was in the car with her when she drove into a building."
"How did you.....?"
"Live? I have no fucking Idea." I answered. I guess god wanted my mother gone. She wasn't the best mother in the world. But what mother is?
"So we both had fucked up mothers that are dead and fucked up stepfathers who we wish were dead." I nodded.
"I guess we were meant for eachother." I said. He smiled and kissed me. "I think so too." He whispered. His eyes slowly looked back at the ultrasound picture. "Looks kind of like alien with black eyes." He said.
"What?" I asked laughing. "Well the dad is Alex. Never know what it could be." I shook my head and laid on his shoulder. "I'm tired." I whispered. Ronnie put the picture on the table and then got up. He held his hand out for me and I just looked at it.
"Carry me." I said. Ronnie smiled and leaned down, placed his arms under my thighs and lifted me up bridal style. I wrapped my left arm around his shoulder and laid against his chest. He carried me to the bedroom. I laid down in the bed and looked up at him. "I'm going to be upset." He said.
"Why?" I asked slipping under the covers. "Because of the symptoms. You're going to be sleeping constantly and crying and getting angry for no reason." I smiled."Increased sex drive is one of the symptoms." I said. Ronnie smiled. "I know. That's the only good symptom." I grinned as his lips touched mine softly. He pulled back a little. "Sleep." He whispered. "Where are you going?" He looked really guilty for a second. "I'll be back, okay?" I was too sleepy to get more information out of him so I just nodded and closed my eyes.
Alex's voice was in my head. His moaning was in my head. Everything about him was in my head. I could feel the ground underneath me. It was just like that night. I could feel Alex inside of me. And I could feel the pain that he was making me feel. My cries echoed in my head. And everything just became louder. All at once.
I clutched the sheets in my fist and my eyes flashed open. My breathing was heavy. It was a nightmare. That's all. I looked over and the clock said three fifty seven. Ronnie still wasn't in the bed with me. Where was he? But in a way, I was glad to be alone because I thought of that other night. What Alex did. I cried and screamed in the pillow. Ronnie was right. I did want Alex dead. I gripped the sheets in my hand and cried until my eyes were dried out. When I was done, I looked back over at the clock. Four twenty. I sighed. I was scared to go back to sleep. To have the same nightmare. But eventually, I did go back to sleep.
I was laying on my side when I woke up. I felt Ronnie's lips on my shoulder. I smiled and turned my head slightly. It was Alex. I screamed as his hands flew to my neck and he squeezed. My air was being cut off. I couldn't breathe.
I sat up and let out heavy fast breaths. Another fucking nightmare. Goddamnit. I looked at the clock. Seven fifthteen. Ronnie walked through the door and looked at me. "Where were you? You haven't been here all night." I said. "Work for my stepdad." I narrowed my eyes. "What kind of work?" I asked. He looked down at the floor. "What do you want to eat for breakfast?" He asked as he walked out of the room. I followed him out of the room.
He was getting eggs out of the refrigerator. "What kind of work?" I asked again folding my arms. He didn't answer. He placed the carton of eggs on the counter. "We haven't even been together for a week and already you're keeping things from me."
He slowly turned to me. "I'm not. It's just........." He turned back and took the eggs out of the carton. "It's just what?" I asked walking over to him. "Nothing." He answered. I shook my head and sighed. "So, I'm guessing that's your only flaw. You're a liar." I said. Ronnie's eyebrows pulled together as he looked at me. "I'm not a liar." I leaned against the counter and stared at him. "So why can't you tell me where you were?" I asked. "Leah, it's nothing leave it alone." He said angrily. I sighed. "I can't believe you. You would lie to me yet claim you love me. That's so fucking pathetic.
"Do you want to get into an argument with me?" I shook my head. "Then why are you questioning me?" Fuck. What was wrong with me? I was mad because he wouldn't tell me where he went but at the same time, I wanted him to fuck me. Fucking Mood Swings. Pregnancy symptoms are a bitch.
"I'm not. I want you." I said kissing him. Ronnie pulled my body against his. I want me on the counter and him inside of me. NOW. He pulled away for a second. "You don't want breakfast first?" He asked. I shook my head and pulled my shirt over my head. "I'm more horny than hungry." I said as I unbuttoned his pants. "Come on. In the bedroom." He whispered. I shook my head. "It's going to take too long. Lets stay in the kitchen. I said pulling my panties down. Ronnie didn't argue with me and anymore. He pulled down his pants and his black boxers. He laid down on the floor and I laid on top of him. I kissed his neck. I loved his bitter yet sweet taste he had. But his lips were the most sweet. My tongue explored his and his hands caressed my hair and then my back. I sat up a little and lowered myself on his cock. I whimpered and laid on his chest. I closed my eyes. Whoa. This shit felt so good. His hands rubbed my back. "You ever been on top before?" He asked. I shook my head. "I'll help you." He said breathlessly.
I nodded and then sat up a little. I placed my hands on the left and the right of his head onto the tile floor. He grabbed my ass and pushed me forward. Me and him moaned at the same time. Unbelievable. I was almost there. "Um...Ronnie?" The pleasure was still on his face as he looked up at me. "I'm about cum....like really soon." He nodded. "Cum as fast as you want." He breathed. He kept his hands on my ass and started moving me back and forth. His hands dropped down to the back of my thighs as I started moving on my own. Oh fuck. I was so close. Ronnie's eyes rolled to the back of his head as I went faster. I closed my eyes and tried to hold back. I wanted him to get his release too but......it was hard. Ronnie sat up and grabbed my waist as I continued to ride him. Our moans were muffled when his lips attacked my mine. I felt the familiar tickling feeling. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. His lips were at my neck as I let out a shriek of pleasure. The whole fucking neighborhood could have heard it. My release ran through my body slowly but surely. I felt Ronnie's breath on my neck. I looked at him. "I'm sorry." I whispered.
"For what?" He asked. "Cumming before you." I answered. He smiled. "Your pleasure is my pleasure."
"No. Fuck me again." I said. He didn't argue. He turned over so that he was on top. He stayed inside of me. "Fuck me, Ronnie." I whispered. Ronnie thrusted into me forcefully. But it didn't hurt. It felt so good. I could feel the passion within each thrust. And every noise he made brought me closer and closer to triggering another orgasm. "Ronnie, I'm going to cum." I whimpered. "Cum for me Leah." He whispered. I felt the heat rising throughtout my body. Another release. Seconds before I came, he did. He moaned loudly and kissed my lips as a wave of pleasure filled me. The kiss stopped me from screaming out of pleasure. He stayed inside of me and we stayed on the floor for a while catching our breath. He slowly got up and looked down at me. "Wait, weren't we just mad at eachother? How the hell did we just get done fucking?" I chuckled. "I don't know. Why was I mad at you again?" I asked. I literally forgot. He shrugged and kissed me once more before getting up. He grabbed his boxers and his pants and slipped them on. I got on my panties and grabbed my shirt. "Wait." He said handing me his shirt. "Wear this. I like seeing you in my shirts." I slipped on his shirt and smiled. "And I like seeing you shirtless." He grinned and went back to making us breakfast. Soon afterwards, Ronnie and I fell asleep on the couch. But I woke up when I heard phone ring. Would he mind if I answered his phone? Probably not. I grabbed it and held it to my ear.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Oh. Well I expected you there." It was Alex. I suddenly felt nauseous.
"How did you get you get this number?"
"Oh, I have my sources, Leah."
"What the fuck do you want?" Alex sighed through the phone.
"When are you coming back home? I missed you. Well...actually, I missed your pussy. We should do anal more often also."
I held back my tears and tried to compose my voice so he wouldn't get the sense that I was scared.
"Fuck you." I whispered and hung up the phone. Who told him this number? I wonder if he knows what the address was. I hope not.
The phone rang again. I sighed in frustration and picked it up again.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Why did you hang up on me?"
"You know why. I don't want to talk to you. You fucked up my life."
"How's your boyfriend's face?" I slowly looked at him and then looked back down at the floor.
"Why did you hurt him? He did nothing to you."
"He has my girl."
"You never cared about me, Alex."
"You know how it gets when you use a girl and when she's actually gone, you start to miss her. That's how I feel now."
"I don't care."
"Sure you do. All you ever wanted was for me to love you back. Right, Leah? Remember all those times you told me you loved me especially while you were cumming? I never said it back. But now I feel it."
"Right and you proved it by raping me more than once."
"I'm sorry, Leah. Just come over and let's talk." Was he serious?
"No. Because you're going to try to get me to have sex with you and I'm going to say no and you'll rape me again."
"Leah, deep down inside, you like it." Why was I still talking to him? Oh yeah. Because I'm a fucking idiot.
"Alex, don't call back."
"Come over. Please. I'm begging you."
"No. I don't trust you. I never trusted you."
"I won't hurt you. Just come over and we'll talk."
"I'm done being your sex toy."
"My what?" I just hung up the phone. He thought I was stupid enough to go over there and be alone with him. Ronnie's head snapped up. I looked at him. Tears were in his eyes and one trailed down his cheek. "Damn." He whispered as he sat up on the couch. "Ronnie? What's wrong?" I asked sitting on the couch. He wiped his tears away with his hands. "I just.......I had a dream about that night. When Alex..........when he raped you." His voice was shaky. I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I have to.......I can't continue doing this." He said. "Doing what?" I asked raising my head.
"I want to fucking kill him, Leah. I can't sit back and pretend like I don't want to any longer."
"Ronnie, please don't." He buried his face in his hands. I nuzzled his neck. "Don't." I whispered. He let out a sigh and placed his hand on my knee. "I don't want to scare you."
"You don't. You worry me. Think about it. If you kill Alex, you'll go to jail." Ronnie scoffed. "Alex should be in jail getting fucking raped in his goddamn jail cell."
A very bad time to think about this but it turned me on whenever Ronnie cussed. I guess that it was that he was the perfect romantic type guy that rarely gets angry. But his anger somehow turns me on.
"You're right." I finally said trying to keep my thoughts to myself. Ronnie's eyes looked into mine.
"I'll be back." He got up. I shook my head. "Don't go after him." I begged. "I won't. I promise." He leaned down and kissed me softly. He pulled back and walked into the bedroom. I sighed. I knew he was about to go somewhere and as always, not tell me where. My eyes suddenly glanced at his jacket. I looked back towards the bedroom. I didn't see any sign of him coming. I slowly walked over and grabbed his jacket and dug in his pockets. I felt something cold and hard. Like a device. I dug it out. My eyes widened as I stared at the small black gun. Why would Ronnie need a gun?