Chapter 2: Step One
I toyed with my spaghetti and bit down on my lip as I looked over at the empty chair across from me. If Morgan was here, that's where he'd sit and he'd be looking at me with those smoky gray eyes.
Those beautiful eyes. I never seen anything like them and the thought makes me blush.
Why am I thinking of him?
"You okay, sweetie? You seem to be…preoccupied." My dad said.
I shook my head. "No…I'm fine. I'm just thinking of…."
"No I'm not!" I yelled.
Kurt and my dad stared at me.
"What?" My dad asked.
"I….what were you gonna say?"
"I was just going to say that Morgan is out late." My dad said.
Kurt nodded as he took a sip of his beer. "Yeah, he's always out gambling or smoking, out with his friends."
"What's his plan for school?" Hank asked.
Kurt sighed and shook his head. "I keep telling him he needs to look for colleges. That Summer won't last forever but he's more into going out with his friends than focusing on school."
Hank nodded. "Of course. It's summer. Who gives a shit about school during summer time?"
Kurt nodded. "You got a point." Then Kurt looked to me. "Ready for college?" He asked.
I shook my head. "Dreading it." I said.
Kurt snickered. "Every kid does.College is where all the drugs, parties and sex appears."
My dad nodded. "Thank you for reminding her."
Kurt chuckled. "I never said she'd get involved with it all, I'm just saying she needs to watch out for it all."
Hank nodded. "I know she will. Ginny is a good girl." He smiled and I smiled back.
I was. I mean…I guess I was. Except for these feeling I have for Morgan. They were bad.
A sin really….I do remember my mom being big on religion and her teaching me that being around boys was bad. She was crazy. Insane. But I understand why she wanted me to stay away from boys. She was the type of person who believed that if you even look at a boy, you'd get pregnant and she scared my reluctance towards boys into me.
Yet I did still want one as a friend at least. And I would want Morgan to be my friend….but that's just it, I don't get why I feel something else about him.
He wouldn't be interested in agirl like me.
I'm not smart or pretty enough for him.
Then I think back to earlier when he told me I was sexy. I blushed and shut my eyes.
"He seeing anybody?" My dad asked.
I looked over to him. Why would he want to know that? But then again, I wanted to know too.
Kurt shook his head. "It's weird. I mean a month ago, it was a different girl every night. And they suddenly just stopped."
Hank nodded. "I was gonna say that if he's seeing someone, that may be the reason why he's not focused on his future but I may be wrong."
"Who's not focused on his future?" Morgan asked as he entered the dining room.
Kurt shook his head. "No one. Did you win?"
Morgan nodded and placed a few bills onto the table. "I got lucky tonight."
Kurt smiled as if he was proud of his son. "Your mama was the top gambler. Must get that from her."
Morgan smirked and then glanced at me before disappearing out of the room.
I looked to my dad who was looking at where Morgan use to stand. Then he looked to me and shook his head.
"You know what." He said.
Kurt gathered his dishes and walked out of the room.
"I don't want you hanging around that boy."
"Uh…he lives here, I don't have a choice."
"Well I don't want you to be alone with him. From what I hear, he likes to be with a lot of girls."
"You don't have to worry about that, dad." I said giving him a reassuring smile.
He nodded and smiled. "I know you'll be a good girl."
I nodded with him.
By the time my dad went to sleep and Kurt went into his room, it was about midnight.
Morgan didn't come out of his room since he got home and I was afraid to knock and ask him if we were still going to the barn so he can give me a tour.
I guess he forgot.
It made me kinda upset because I was really looking forward to talking to him again.
I was laying in my bed, in my nightgown with the covers over me.
I was turned facing the door.
It suddenly creaked open and I sat my head up.
"Ginny." Somebody whispered.
"Morgan?" I asked.
The figure nodded. "Yeah, come on, lemme give you the tour now." He whispered.
I immediately got up and ended up stumbling over my feet.
Morgan chuckled silently as I followed him out of the room and down the stairs.
Morgan led me through the kitchen and opened the back door.
Everything was soft grass so I didn't need shoes on.
I followed Morgan out all the way to the back where this big, wooden building laid.
"It's pretty." I whispered as we approached it.
"Think so?" Morgan asked as his hand found mine.
I looked down at his hand as it took mine and led me towards the barn.
I nodded. "Yeah." I answered as a lump got caught in my throat.
We got to the barn doors and he dropped my hand as he reached in his pocket for keys. He put the keys in the lock and opened the barn doors. It was pitch dark in there. "Come on." He said as he walked in.
I walked in with him and he shut the door afterwards.
All that can be heard were crickets and me and his soft breathing.
"You okay, Ginny?" He asked.
"Yeah?" It sounded like a question. I wasn't sure.
"You don't like the dark?"
"Not much." I answered.
The lights suddenly flickered on and the place lit up.
It was a dim light but it was still lit up.
It was empty except for a table of tools and piles of plywood in a few places.
"This use to be a farm?"
Morgan nodded. "Before my mom left us, she would raise chickens, goats, pigs, cows. She was pretty weird like that but…" He eyes went to mine and he smiled. "I loved her."
I walked over to a window and looked out of it, in a distance, you can see the moon shining brightly over a small body of water.
I didn't know that Morgan was next to me until I looked over.
His eyes locked on mine the same time mine locked on his.
His gray eyes had me hypnotized for a second. I didn't know what to say or to do so I just stood there.
His gray eyes pinned me and then I blushed as his eyes went down to my nightgown, slowly studying my body. Every inch, before his eyes went back to mine. "Can I kiss you?" He asked in a hushed voice.
I shook my head although I wanted it. I wanted to. It would be my first kiss and if there's anybody I would let have my first kiss, it would be Morgan. "My dad wouldn't like that." I said stepping back.
Morgan shook his head. "Your dad doesn't have to know." He said.
I looked at the barn doors and then back to Morgan. He's waiting for me to give him the 'ok'.
I bite my lip. "O-Okay." I whispered. I was nervous. I didn't know what I was supposed to do so I just watched him.
Morgan walked-more like glided- over to me until he was standing in front of me.
"Just relax, okay?" He asked.
"Close your eyes."
I closed them and waited.
I felt my back against the wall and his warm breath against my lips.
And then I felt his lips. The kiss didn't last long.
I opened my eyes and looked up at him when he pulled away.
"Have you ever been kissed?"
I shook my head.
He raised his eyebrow. "You're a virgin?"
He nodded too. "Can I kiss you again?" He asked.
I nodded without hesitation.
His fingers went up through my hair into a grip and it made me gasp.
His lips went to mine again and I shut my eyes as his bottom lip slipped in between my lips.
I followed his lead and began kissing him back. I didn't know if I was doing it right.
Morgan then pushed his tongue inside of my mouth and I froze.
He stopped for a second, "Open your mouth." He whispered against my lips.
I did as he said and he dove his tongue into my mouth and it moved against mine.
I began to move mine with his and he pushed himself against me.
I had chills running through my body. I didn't know what this meant.
My fingers felt dead so I ran them up his back, around his neck, through his hair and Morgan moaned in my mouth.
I suddenly got this feeling…I felt….wet…down there.
I gasped and Morgan suddenly stopped.
He pulled back, breathless to look down at me. "What's wrong?" He asked.
I shook my head. "Nothing." I whispered.
"I feel weird." I said.
"Just…down…here." I said pointing to my….area.
Morgan bit down on his lip, his gray eyes not leaving mine. "Can I see if I can find out what's wrong?" He asked.
Morgan's fingers went to the very bottom of my nightgown and lifted it up until he can see my purple panties.
This was embarrassing.
He stared at my panties and then looked to me. "Can I touch you?" He asked.
I nodded. "Please." I breathe.
One hand kept my nightgown up while the other went to my panties and he cupped me. It made me gasp and a sound to slip out of my mouth.
"You never touch yourself?" He asked.
I shook my head.
Morgan's hand moved down more and he gave a slight smile. "That's what you're worried about." He slowly took his hand away.
"You're wet." He whispered and I looked up at him. "What's that mean?"
"You're turned on, Ginny. By me."
"What do we do about it?"
"You know what you're supposed to do about it?"
I didn't say anything.
Morgan dropped my nightgown. "We're supposed to have sex."
"Will we?" I asked.
He shook his head. "No. At least not yet."
"Oh." I said and looked down.
I looked up at him.
"You know you're very young for this stuff, right?"
"Then why'd you kiss me?"
He shrugged. "I wanted to but this is something that's wrong and if you want me to stop, tell me." He said.
Did I want him to stop?
Not really but daddy won't be so happy about this. "My dad will be mad."
"Like I said before, Hank doesn't need to know. We can keep this a secret. Me and you can be friends during the day but at night time, we can come here and I can show you the steps it takes to be intimate."
I looked down as I played with my fingers. "Will it hurt?" I asked. I didn't want him to hurt me in any way. I would have to tell my dad then.
Morgan shook his head. "Not until I take your virginity. If you'll let me."
That's the part I'm scared of.
Morgan saw my hesitation. "Just think about it, okay?" He asked.
"We should get back before they come looking for us." Morgan said and I nodded. "Okay." I whispered.
His eyes didn't leave mine.
Without asking this time, he placed his hands on my waist and his lips went to mine again.
He grabbed my arms and made me wrap them around his neck.
And then he wrapped his arms around my butt and lifted me from the floor and held me up against the wall.
I felt so exposed but I just kept focusing on his soft lips on mine and how weirdly good it felt.
I feel too young for this but I really, really wanted this.
More than anything right now, I could feel our middles touch as he envelopes my lips with his in a warm motion.
My daddy would be so disappointed with me. Momma too.
I was being…nasty with this boy.
But I didn't care. Not right now. It felt good.
Morgan sat me back down on my feet and slowly pulled away from me after sighing. "You taste good, Ginny." He breathed.
It left a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. I bit down on my lip and looked up at Morgan through my eyelashes.
He placed his hand on my cheek and bent down to kiss my lips once more before grabbing my hand. "Come on. We gotta go back."
I nodded and followed him to the door. He shut the light off before opening the door and locking it back.
I was overwhelmed…scared and curious all in one.