Twenty three years ago…
Four year old Jennifer Downes heard the sounds of moaning from the top of the stairs. Her father told her to wait by the door while he went to investigate. Climbing up the steps, she heard her father kick the door of the bedroom down before an argument erupted from the hallway.
"YOU FUCKING WHORE!"
Her dad screamed profanity whenever he became enraged. Pressing her tiny hands through her mass of black hair, the toddler covered her ears hoping to drown out the fighting. She hated it when her parents fought. In fact, she loathed it. Apparently, this became a daily occurrence in the Downes' household.
Glancing up the steps, she saw a naked man running down from banister covering his privates a crumpled mess of his clothing. Ignoring the little girl in front of him, the stranger grabbed the doorknob and raced outside but not before tripping over Jennifer's leg and landing face first into the pavement.
"You little bitch!" The naked man spat out a bloody tooth from his mouth. Furious, the stranger marched toward the tot who screamed in fright just as her father came rushing down to protect her.
"DON'T YOU TOUCH MY DAUGHTER ASSHOLE!" Her father shouted. Gripping a tight fist, the muscular naval officer swung making contact with the naked man's nose cracking it in several places.
Pain throbbed in the stranger's face as he covered his bloody septum and raced out to his car. Jennifer looked up to see her mother sprinting down the stairs with her robe fully open displaying her brown nipples and the small dark patch surrounding her privates for all the world to see. Black hair fell down the woman's breasts as the Thai mother cleared her throat and spat in her husband's face.
"I no like you no more!" Her mother sneered. "You not good husband! I divorce you and go back to Bangkok!"
"Good!" The little girl's father spat. "Go back to being a bargirl and found some other military idiot to marry!"
"It better than being boring housewife!" Jennifer's mother frowned. "You only good for green card!" She shifted her focus to her daughter. "I only got pregnant for that!"
"Well you can find some other American guy to take care of you!" Her father yelled at her mother. "Divorce me and go back to Thailand if you want to but I'm taken Jennifer!"
"Take her then!" Jennifer's mother scooted her away. "I no want her! She bad luck!"
"FUCK YOU!" The navy man screeched. Picking up his daughter, he slammed the door shut as he headed toward his car.
"Mommy!" Jennifer called out to her mother.
"Shhh, princess," replied her father. "All you need now is me, grandma and grandpa and Aunt Brittany. We won't see that mean lady anymore."
The toddler listened to her father make that promise as he buckled her into the car seat. Turning on the ignition, the navy man pulled out of the driveway and headed toward the direction of their new residence.
Twenty three years later…
"So what do you do?" Her date asked the twenty seven year old woman while chewing on piece of his lettuce leaf. She noticed the green residue stuck between his two front teeth and wanted to say something but refrained. They had not served the main course yet.
"I'm work for my husband's company at the corporate level," said Jennifer. "We come up with strategies to improve business mergers and acquisitions."
"So you're like the C.E.O.?" Her date inquired.
"Something like that," she replied. "The C.E.O. is my husband and I assist him with the business. You could say I'm his right hand man…er woman."
Jennifer Chambers stirred uncomfortably in her seat listening to her moronic date prattle about himself. Wearing an Armani low-cut blue dress and black pumps, the exotic woman played with her salad appetizer on her plate. It had been three weeks since she last updated her profile on the dating site Ashley Madison referring to her profile name as EurasianBeauty and included a sexy, bikini shot in black and white with her hair covering her face. Already, she received hundreds of messages and requests and weeded through them all until settling on the current nitwit she now was having dinner with.
Calling himself Angelhunk on his profile, the Eurasian woman specifically selected him due to his physical attractiveness. Sun bleached long hair and green eyes captured her attention as he stood on the beach in his profile picture showcasing his ripped chest and abs. Intrigued, Jennifer invited him to dinner in San Francisco's Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and attempted to make polite conversation. Unfortunately, the man seemed more empty headed than many of her previous hook-ups.
"Like what are you?" Her date named Royce asked her. "You don't look white?"
She could not believe he actually made a comment regarding her ethnicity. Part of her wanted to leave but she decided to stay in the hope that the evening improves.
"Actually I'm half white or 33% of European ethnicities," Jennifer explained. "My father was an American naval man and his origin extends to French, English and German descent. My mother is Thai which accounts for my black hair, dark brown eyes, and light tan skin."
"Yeah I guessed you were Japanese," Royce laughed.
The Eurasian beauty rolled her eyes. "I just told you that I'm part Thai."
"Japanese, Thai. You people look all the same," the doofus remarked. "But you oriental girls sure know how to give good head! It's much better than my girlfriend!"
That was the last straw for her. She was not going to sit at table and become intimate with an ignorant stranger. Tossing her napkin on to the table, Jennifer pushed her lips together and blew the surfer a kiss.
"You know what really turns me on, Royce," she purred.
Royce gulped anxiously as he stared at her perfectly, proportionate breasts. "What?"
"I love turning a man on in a public place," she teased. Proving her point, she slipped her stocking foot out of her high heel and pressed it against his groin underneath the covered table.
"Tell me Royce," she sipped her wine glass. "Do you think you can drink me under the table?"
Choking on his salad, the idiot coughed as he felt the soft smoothness of her stocking foot caressing the zipper of his pants. Making an up and down movement across his growing cock, he sensed the blood pumping through his shaft while she sensuality observed the other customers at the restaurant. Hard pressure forced his erection back causing him to grunt and grip the sides of the table.
"You never answered my question," hummed Jennifer. "Do you think you can drink me under the table?"
Royce nodded his head fanatically. "I'll do more than drink you. I'll eat out your pussy!"
Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Ooooh. I can't wait."
Jennifer slipped back her stocking foot back into her shoe as their server began placing their plates on to the stable. Still with his raging hard on full alert, Royce giggled picking up his knife and fork to dig in. The Eurasian woman then politely gestured to their waiter.
"Actually, I would like my meal to go and separate checks please," she informed the server.
"Right away, Miss." The waiter replied.
"Where're you going?" Her date frowned. "Don't tell me you're too horny to wait until we're done eating?"
Their server quickly returned with a Styrofoam container and neatly placed her dinner in an a la carte bag. Handing the man the full payment of her meal in cash, she pulled a hundred dollar bill out of her purse and handed it to the waiter.
"Keep the change and this hundred is for your tip," she whispered to restaurant employee.
"Thank you Miss!" The waiter replied excitedly. Watching the exotic woman saunter off, the server grinned admiring the sensual features of the customer he just assisted.
Meanwhile, a sexually frustrated Royce called out to her as she exited. "Hey baby! Who's gonna pay for my meal? Wait for me, we can start the fucking right away!"
Gasps and dropped silverware filled the room upon hearing the rude gentleman's comment. It took the manager to come out and calm everyone one down so they could return to their meals. Royce dropped his credit card on the table as he chased after his date outside.
Seeing her get into her convertible black Bentley, the imbecile raced toward the driver's side of the vehicle. "Baby! You had me going for a moment! I thought you were pissed at me and wanted to end our date right now!"
"Wow, you actually have some brains in that attractive body of yours," clucked Jennifer. "Sorry, Royce but this date is over. I'm afraid you're not the man that can satisfy me tonight."
She turned on the ignition and began to pull out of the driveway.
"But baby! You can't cocktease man and leave him hanging!" The idiot remarked.
Casting her dark eyes down, she saw that his erection had shriveled up. Lifting her gaze back to Royce, she grinned. "Yeah, I can." Stopping on the gas pedal, she sped off.
"BELINDA!" He shouted. "BITCH!"
Belinda. She had used that alias far too often. She had been Tammy, Rita, and Dawn. Next time, she would be more creative. Pulling into her beach house situated by the Bay, she parked inside the garage and pulled out the five carat solitaire diamond ring from her handbag. Slipping it on her wedding finger, she made her way inside.
Sounds of cheering echoed in the living room as she saw her sixty six year old husband Palmer and twenty two year old assistant Vince playing Mario Kart on the huge flat screen television with the Nintendo Wii.
Palmer Chambers threw his arms in the air in triumph. "Hah! Beat the young guy on Mario Kart with 5000 points!" He broke out his old school dance moves.
"Hey I would have won if I didn't drive into that wall!" Vince Perkins declared. "I demand a rematch!"
Jennifer placed her hands on her hips. "Jesus, it's like I'm living with two children!"
"Sorry honey," her older husband approached her and kissed her. "How was your date?"
"Uneventful," the Eurasian beauty replied. "The man was an ass! I wouldn't fuck him if my life depended on it!"
"I'm sorry to hear that."
The business woman's other assistant, twenty year old college student Wendy Anwar, stepped into the living room carrying her laptop. "I think we need to change a couple things on your AshleyMadison profile. That way we can weed out the losers."
Jennifer tossed her handbag on to the couch before handing her husband the Styrofoam container of her dinner.
"Ruth's Chris Steakhouse!" Palmer squealed like a giddy schoolgirl. "You have great taste!"
His wife raised a finger to him. "You can cheat just this one time but it's back to healthy eating tomorrow. Remember you have a heart condition!"
"Yes mam," responded the sixty-six year old. Taking the meal back into the kitchen, he feasted on it like there was no tomorrow.
Lounging on the sofa, the Eurasian beauty twirled her hair in annoyance. "I really need to stop picking up these idiot guys on these dating sites. Better yet, I need to stop going to these dating sites."
"Hey! Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!" Vince snorted. "You're married to one lucky sonabitch! He's rich and believes in an open marriage. He encourages you to cheat on him!"
Jennifer softly punched him in the arm. "Well I wouldn't need to cheat if he didn't have a heart condition. I married the man because I love him not because of his money. I hate sleeping with loser guys simply to satisfy my physical desires."
"There's nothing wrong with fulfilling your needs," Wendy rolled her eyes. Straddling Vince on the couch, she gave him an affectionate kiss on the lips. "You of all people should know that. I mean Vince and I wouldn't have met if you haven't answered his Yahoo personals ad."
"And helped take away my V-card when I was nineteen," the male assistant added.
"That was different," remarked the business woman. "I was still new to this casual dating thing and you were a sweet guy online that wanted to lose his virginity. I wanted to be the one to help you out with that."
"Well with helped each other," smiled Vince. "We both became confident with sex and formed a friendship from it."
"Exactly," Wendy agreed. "I mean how else was he able to approach me and ask me out?"
"And it's been two years ever since," Vince growled. Pulling his girlfriend close, he kissed her hard.
"Get a room you two!" Jennifer clucked. "Better yet, use one of the upstairs guestrooms. I don't want you ruining my upholstery." The two lovers broke separated. "Back to what we were saying, I don't think AshleyMadison is for me."
"Nonsense," said Palmer coming out of the kitchen with steak juice on his face. "It's the perfect site for married or attached people to engage in casual affairs."
"Yeah but so far I haven't found anyone remotely interesting to sleep with," Jennifer slapped her forehead.
"Then you need a change!" Wendy stated. "I got the perfect site." She opened her laptop and typed something in the search engine on the Google page. "Craigslist!"
"What?" The exotic beauty gasped. "Are you insane? You know how many serial killer rapists are on Craigslist?"
"It's only coincidence," Wendy shrugged her shoulders.
"It's not coincidence!" Jennifer remarked.
"Look the chances of finding a psycho on Craigslist is not any different than finding one on e-Harmony, Match.com or even AshleyMadison," Vince stepped in. "At least give it a chance. Go through the ads, meet the person and see if they are worth your time."
"Vince is right, honey," Palmer agreed. Kissing the top of her head, he gave her his blessing. "Give it a shot. Satisfy your carnal needs. If doesn't work out, then we'll try something else."
Jennifer sighed. "Fine. What should I be looking for?"
Wendy clapped her hands. "Oh goody! We're focus on the city of San Francisco under the heading casual encounters. Since you're not placing the ad but answering it, we'll click on the abbreviation m4w."
"What does that mean?" The businesswoman wondered.
"Man for woman," answered her female assistant.
Clicking on the entry, a long list of ads popped up. Each one had its own heading and abbreviation with age range, what the gentleman was searching for, and if there a picture noted at the side.
"What's all these abbreviations mean?" Jennifer asked. "BBW, SWF, BBC, DDF?"
"BBW stands for big beautiful woman, SWF for single white female, BBC is big, black, cock, and DDF is down dirty fucking," explained Vince.
All eyes turned toward the male assistant.
"What? So I peruse Craigslist! Sue me!" The twenty two year old twisted his lip.
"What's N.S.A. and F.W.B.?" Jennifer turned to Vince.
"No strings attached and F.W.B. is friends with benefits," he informed her. "That's what you need to click on."
"All right let's do this thing!" Wendy announced. She clicked on couple before Jennifer cringed.
"Does every picture on these ads involve men showing their dicks?" The business woman asked. "No one believes in a face picture anymore?"
"Not unless you don't want it to be discreet," answered Vince. "Nowadays, it's all about what the dude is packing underneath his jeans."
"Hey, here's one that's interesting," Wendy noted. "Nerdy guy looking for N.S.A. action. It even lists a pic. Let me click on it!"
The twenty two year male assistant's eyes turned ghostly paled. "WAIT! DON'T!"
It was too late as Wendy opened up the page. Focusing on the pic, it took her a second to figure it out.
"Wait a minute! I recognize those Star Trek boxers, that piercing, and mole on that dick!"
All eyes once again turned to Vince.
"VINCE! YOU ASSHOLE!" Wendy screeched. "YOU PLACED AN AD?"
Palmer laughed. "Vince, I didn't know you had the Prince Albert done? Ouch that must have hurt!"