A bitter chill clung to the air inside the house. Owen pressed his hand lightly against Sabrina's lower back and guided her to the doorway of the living room. He felt the tension enter her body the moment they stepped through the front door, and wondered if she would ever truly feel safe and secure in this house again. If not, they would move. Simple as that. He loved the ranch, but it was just property, just buildings. It could all be replaced. Sabrina's sense of well being took precedence over everything else.
"I'll build a fire." He said quietly as he moved into the living room and went to the fireplace. As he squatted down by the hearth, he glanced back at her. She remained in the doorway, arms wrapped around herself. Her pretty face was tight, though she was trying to hide her anxiety. When she caught him looking, she forced a smile.
"It's good to be home." She said softly, but she clearly wasn't feeling her words. And how could he expect her to? Yet, the natural way that she called this 'home' still filled him with joy and peace of mind. Just as he had so easily called her his wife at the hospital. This was meant to be, and they both knew it.
Owen went about building a fire, gathering newspaper and kindling. When he stood up to grab the box of matches from the mantle, he realized Sabrina was gone from the doorway. His face tightened with worry. He didn't want her going back to the bedroom alone. Not the first time back in the house.
He quickly lit the fire, made sure it was going well, then went to find her.
Sabrina hugged herself tightly as she stared at the closed door of the bedroom. She forced back the images of the events that took place in there, and gripped the door handle, twisting slowly. She opened the door and stared into the room.
The light was still on from the previous night. And the blankets on the bed still messed and crumpled. Sabrina's pulse quickened. The ties Jackson had used to fasten her hands to the headboard were still there. She began to shake and hugged herself again. Her eyes burned as the images began to rush back in.
She cried out when hands gripped her shoulder, and spun around quick. Owen grabbed her and pulled her against him, drawing her back out of the room, closing the door. She clung to him, crying.
"You shouldn't have went in there." He said tightly. "I haven't even back here since last night."
He led her back downstairs to the living room and sat her on the sofa..
"We'll sleep down here, in the guest bedroom." He said softly, stroking her wet face. "I don't even want you going in that room, not for a few days anyway. Just get comfortable being in the house again."
Sabrina sniffed and wiped her eyes. Her hands trembled in her lap. "Do you think...everything will ever really be okay again?" She raised her wet eyes to his. "Will our lives ever really be whole, Owen? Is it even possible?"
Owen slid his arms around her and held her tight against his chest. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her hair. She felt his comfort, the assurance of his arms...but there were no words telling her it would be all right.
This is my life and it can't be fixed.
Owen held Sabrina tight against him, his lips touching her hair, and stared blankly at the fire as the image of the shattered vase on the church floor filled his mind. They had both spoken words of encouragement and hope to each other at the hospital, but now, back in this house, back in this life...Owen felt an anxiety creeping back in. He wanted to believe their life could be good, that it could be their own. But though he believed Tony would deal with Charles Braxton...what about Celine? She wasn't the kind of woman to just back off and leave them be. After what she had deliberately done to her own sister, she would make it her life mission to make their lives hell.
Owen squeezed his eyes shut. He wished the woman were dead. God forgive me, but I do. He waited for the guilt of his thoughts, but it never came.
Drawing back, Owen lifted Sabrina's face. "Do you want to lie down while I fix us some dinner?"
She shook her head slowly. "I don't want to be in another bed right now, unless you're in it with me."
Owen smiled and kissed her softly. "Does that mean you'll help me make dinner?" He smiled.
"That it does." She murmured and kissed his lips again.
They fixed a simple meal and ate in the living room on the sofa, just watching the fire, not talking much but just enjoying being together with no secrets between them.
When they were finished, Owen took their dishes back tot eh kitchen then returned, sitting next to Sabrina, holding her close. She intertwined her fingers through his and he found a strangely powerful comfort in that simple touch.
"Everything will be okay, baby." He murmured. "It will."
Sabrina raised his hands to her lips and kissed them warmly. "What if it's wrong for us to be together?" She whispered thickly. "What if it's wrong in God's eyes, and doesn't bless us?" She kissed his hands again as tears slid down her face. "What if He never lets us have a baby?"
Owen turned her to face him and caressed her face softly with his fingertips. "This is right, Sabrina. Us, right here, right now. Together." He kissed her forehead. "It was our former lives that were wrong. That were never meant to be." He kissed her lips. "We were always meant to be together. I will always believe that." He kissed her again. "We haven't done anything wrong. And I believe God will find a way to show us that this is where He wants us, that our being together is blessed in His sight."
Sabrina smiled and pressed her face against his warm throat, kissing his tender skin. "I wish we could make love." She whispered. "I want to be with you so much right now."
His arms tightened around her. "I want that too." He said thickly. "But soon, baby."
"I feel like..." Sabrina's voice thickened with tears. "I feel like we haven't even really made love yet. Not you and I." She drew back and gazed into his blue eyes. "Do you know what I mean?"
He nodded slowly. "Yeah. I do."
Sabrina gazed at him for a long moment, then whispered, "I want our first real time together... to be as husband and wife."
He smiled, kissing her mouth. "I want that too." He laughed softly. "But we better do it soon, because as soon as I can make love to you...I really don't think I would be able to resist."
"Me neither." She smiled.
When they finally went to bed, Sabrina wore one of Owen's t-shirts and slipped beneath the blankets. She watched Owen undress down to his boxer briefs. She couldn't keep her heart from racing at the sight of him, knowing that everything she saw before her truly belonged to her now. That the heart keeping that body alive...loved her. Wanted only her.
Tears burned her eyes as he put his clothes aside and came to the bed. His beautiful eyes drank her in. A tear slipped free and he brushed it away as he slid beneath the covers with her. He kissed her face then her lips.
"What's wrong, baby?" He murmured against her soft lips.
"Nothing." She choked out softly, kissing him back. She stroked his face. "For the first time in my life...nothing is wrong."
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her more deeply as they laid down on the pillows. His warm body pressed firmly to hers and his intense hunger for her couldn't be denied. She ached to give him all he longed for, all she longed for. But they both knew they couldn't go there yet. The miscarriage, even more so than Jackson's abuse, prevented them from making love as they both ached to do so.
Owen groaned into her mouth then drew back away from her and lay on his back, his chest heaving. He raked his hands through his hair and released a shaky breath. Sabrina cuddled up close to him and kissed his chest. He looked down at her, his eyes burning with desire. She met his stare and smiled, then began to drop warm kisses all over his chest then lower to his stomach. Her hand softly caressed down over his fierce erection, confined by his briefs.
His breath caught and his hand covered hers, halting her progress. "You don't have to do this, baby." He groaned, his voice ragged. "If you have to wait, then so can I."
Sabrina kissed his naval. "Hush." Was all she said as she drew her hand from beneath his and slipped it down inside his briefs, wrapped her fingers around his hard flesh and worked at him as she continued to kiss lower down his stomach.
"Oh god." Owen shuddered, his breath quick.
Sabrina moved in between his legs and tugged down the front of his briefs, releasing his throbbing cock. She took it in both hands, stroking him with a spiral motion, inciting gasps and deep groans from him.
"Baby..." He gasped. "Are you sure you're...you're ready to be doing this? I don't expect you to..."
"Stop talking, Owen." Sabrina whispered as she licked her tongue across the surface of his cock head, making him flinch. "Nothing I do with you, or to you, will bring back bad memories. So just relax...and enjoy. You more than deserve this."
Owen groaned and smiled, combing his fingers through her hair as she covered the plump head of his dick with her warm mouth and began taking him in deeper and deeper.
"Fuck..." He shuddered.
Sabrina squeezed his hard shaft with her whole mouth, pulling him into her throat, sucking him hungrily. His body trembled beneath her lovin' and it excited her to excite him. She slowly began to stroke her mouth up and down his cock, applying adequate pressure. Owen was beginning to pant and his fingertips pressed into her scalp.
"Oh god, baby, yes..." He trembled hard. He lifted his hips, pressing his dick into her mouth as she worked on him. He began to thrust with her stroking, his breath puffing from between his lips. "Please..." He begged with a shuddery gasp. "Oh god, please...don't stop..."
Sabrina had no intentions of stopping. After all Owen had went through, this was just a mere taste of what he deserved. And she would take great pleasure spending the rest of her life giving him all he deserved and more.
She massaged his scrotum with one hand while she sucked and stroked him with more urgency, feeling the tension beginning to grip his body.
"Oh my god!" Owen gasp sharply, gripping her head more firmly. "Oh fuck, baby!"
Sabrina sucked him harder, faster, pumping his cock with her mouth.
A strangled cry ripped from him. "Fuck! Baby! I'm gonna cum!"
His shaft thickened in her mouth and she knew he was right there. She stroked him with more hunger, wanting his fluid love, starving for him in every way. Another fierce, strangled cry erupted out of him as he released her head and clawed the sheets, his jaw clenching hard as his orgasm burst, squirting hot cum down her throat.
Sabrina sucked and stroked, drinking his love, drawing out every drop. Owen clutched the sheets in fistfuls, panting hard, his chest heaving as Sabrina took all he had to give. And only when the tension began to release him did she moved back up beside him. He grabbed her and kissed her hard, rolling them over, covering her with his strong body.
His hot mouth moved to her throat, biting and sucking her warm, tender skin. Tears streamed from her eyes. "I love you, Owen." She cried softly. "I love you so much."
He grabbed her mouth again in a kind of desperation that overwhelmed her, kissing her with so much love and passion that she felt intoxicated. "I love you." He gasped into her mouth, panting hard. "I love you, Sabrina. I love you so much."
He ravaged her mouth, and then her body, setting her on fire. She knew knew he couldn't take her all the way, but she didn't care. Soon he would be able to put the fire out, and until then she didn't mind burning alive beneath his fiery touch and scalding kisses.