Anal, Inc.

10) Featuring an Enormous Bottle of Olive Oil

I breathed an involuntary sigh of relief when I heard her flush, and - a few minutes later - she joined me on the drop cloth draped over the bed: completely naked, and carrying a large bottle of olive oil.

"Are we making a salad?"

"It's good for you. One of the best oils out there."

"And what are we going to do with it?"

"Have some fun with my boobs. They're not just for decoration, you know. I did this a couple of times with Kevin, but he really isn't long enough for it to work right. So I wanted to try it again."

"Kevin?"

"Ruth's husband. He's the one who used to help us out before you came along."

"I guess I'm not sophisticated enough to see how that would feel all that comfortable."

"We weren't that crazy about it, either. It was always borderline creepy. Not just because he was someone's husband. Everyone is someone's husband around here. But he was the husband of someone we worked with. Miriam thought it was so over the line she just decided to stay out of action for awhile. So she would still be high, and dry, right now - if it wasn't for you. I think she told you that she was making up for lost time: since she wouldn't take an appointment with Kevin."

The reason for the drop cloth became apparent when she coated my penis with a liberal stream of the fragrant oil, and started to make sure that the coating went everywhere.

"Wow. You're still standing at attention. Looks like you're a long distance kind of a guy."

And I had plenty of inspiration to keep me hard. The pink ribbon in her hair was the only thing she was wearing as she reclined on her back, and stroked the oil on her hands across her breasts, and into her cleavage.

The topic of Lust (one of the Seven Deadly Sins) has rarely come up in this narrative, because - as far as Ruth and Miriam were concerned - I was simply following instructions. I Lusted after Kriss, in my heart, and wanted to sleep with her: but she was available only in my imagination.

So it would be easy to understand how, looking down at Robin, I could feel that I was being introduced to Lust for the very first time since I was a kid looking at the kind of quaint, softcore porn that had been around when I was a kid.

Robin's was a body made for sex. Almost made for worshipping: so pink, so smooth, so soft. The legs: clean and perfectly proportioned. Wonderful shoulders and neck. A little kind of keyhole navel. The bare folds of her pussy open, and almost beckoning to me.

The saving grace in the situation was that, momentarily, I was going to have her - with her consent.

Otherwise, the situation would have been intolerable.

She offered me the oil.

"Do my cleavage for me."

"I thought we'd be working lower down."

"Not right now. Have you ever had a tit fuck before?"

"I'm not even sure what that is."

"So something new for you then."

"Obviously."

"OK. Well - first you put some oil in between the boobs. And then you straddle me and scoot up so your cock is moving in the gap."

"So I'm literally fucking you between your tits."

"Right. And you've never heard of that before?"

"I've had kind of a sheltered life, evidently."

It took a minute or two to get everything arranged. It's not a sexual position you can arrive at by accident - and there was a little caution involved, since I didn't want to bruise something by mistake.

But - once I was there - with my rigid penis lying in that velvet valley, she pushed her breasts together, using both hands, and made a kind of tunnel.

At first, there didn't seem to be enough friction.

"Could we have a little more pressure?"

And then - after she pushed them closer together - I started to get some traction. While she studied my face to see my reaction.

"Is that too much?"

I was already a little short of breath.

"No...fine."

"So are you going to come?"

I nodded.

"Pretty sure."

"Come on then. Fuck me. Fuck me. Come on, big guy. Let it go. Let it go."

She went on in that vein for a few seconds until I brought my finger up to my lips. Since she was watching me closely, she got the message and fell silent. I didn't need anymore distraction than I already had.

I was using some new muscles - which were burning with the effort - working as hard as if I had been on some sort of exercise machine. I wanted to stop - but I seriously didn't want to stop - since I could see her smiling in anticipation, and I could feel a huge load building.

I pushed on - and then pushed on.

Just as I felt the gate opening, and the sense of unbearable fatigue about to end, she had further instructions.

"Just before you finish...."

But she was too late.

The earth started to open - I felt reality start to bend around me - and I watched as a thin rope of goo flew up - and some of it flew into Robin's mouth at the same time she was talking. A trick I would never have been able to accomplish intentionally.

The rest of it dropped around her mouth, her nose, and chin - along with a couple of drops on her neck.

Since I thought this was the best possible result, I was surprised by her anger.

"Jesus Christ! What do you think you're doing?"

I was breathing so hard it was a few seconds before I could speak.

"I thought...I thought...."

"Stop thinking! We're not asking you to think! Get off me and go get a wet towel. A warm one, too, since I evidently have to tell you everything."

She hadn't moved at all when I got back from the bathroom, as though she'd been bitten by a snake. She seemed a little less angry, though.

"The idea is to spray the boobs! That's the payoff. Decorate the boobs. Not the face. The face is what you do to a whore."

"The face is in all kinds of porn."

"Oh my God! Porn isn't real life. Do I need to explain that, too? Wipe it off! Get this baby goo off me."

And I carefully took off the smelly stuff. I felt more explanation was necessary.

"Ruth swallows it, you know. Doesn't even seem to think anything about it."

"Ruth is Ruth. Ruth does a lot of things I'd never think of doing. If I tried swallowing, I'd never stop throwing up. Just the texture by itself...."

Her voice trailed off.

"I know. She french kissed me with some in her mouth."

"Well, there you go. The woman will do anything. That whole swinger scene she likes so much is just unbelievable to me."

"You'll be faithful in your marriage?" (I had a highly personal reason for asking this).

"We'll see. But I'm never going to find myself in a room full of naked people boning each other."

I held up the towel.

"Looks like this took some makeup with it."

"Well we can't have that. Let me make some repairs - and we should have some lunch if you're hungry."

"So you're not mad anymore?"

"I was mostly just surprised. But please don't let it happen again."

"That's a deal. I'd be happy to eat, if you feel like eating. It's usually about half an hour before I'm ready again."

She rolled off the bed, and went to the closet before heading into the bathroom. Wrapping all of her perfection in a plain black robe, she threw a white terrycloth robe over to me.

"You saw the kitchen when you came in."

"Right."

"Just see what you want out of the frig."

That appliance was well stocked, and the condo was so small that we could converse while I sat at the counter in the kitchen, and she straightened out her makeup in the bathroom.

"Are these the same tuna sandwiches that Ruth makes?"

"Right. She's the sandwich queen. Even Miriam uses her recipe cards, and Miriam is the True Blue Mormon Housewife of the Century."

When she came out of the bathroom, her translucent pink robe, pink underwear, and pink slippers were all back in place. Evidently it was her boudoir look, and she was reluctant to give it up.

I gestured toward her tits.

"Sorry to see those beauties covered up."

"They're something, aren't they? All natural, too. They've never been under the knife."

"And I bet that nobody in the office even knows that you have them."

"Of course they don't. I explained that to you. It's an accounting office. Most of those guys have been married since they were 12 years old, and their wives are sick and tired of having sex with them. That makes them mad at women in general. Your wife hasn't cut you off, has she?"

I shrugged apologetically.

"I have 3 kids...."

She nodded, with a little half-laugh.

"Full house, huh?"

"Just a phase of life you go through. Not good, or bad."

"Well that speaks well of you."

"Meaning?"

"I would expect you to be making fun of your wife in this situation. You should be thinking of me in a girlfriend kind of way. But you seem to be a good guy - even if you don't seem very bright. At least you're realistic. You know that this is a one-time appointment, right?"

"I know enough not to assume anything. I'm just here to do the work in a workmanlike way. Ruth said it was an advantage to be married, because none of these sexual sessions is really designed to go anywhere. No one's looking for companionship past the moment."

"Exactly. So you're an improvement on the guys I work with. They're basically all looking for a mistress, and none of us - in our little group - are really mistress material. Of course, the accountants never look at it that way. Because I won't shack up with them, I get labelled Frigid Brigid: the girl who's trying so hard to be a guy. And those are the reasonable ones who say that: the ones with some common sense. There are others who would love to have an affair with me so they could get the sex - and then run back to HR so they could get me fired."

"Pretty low strategy."

"I've heard of it happening. Honestly, working in a boys' club like that, the only way you can cope is to be as sexless as possible - twice as macho - and three times as smart. You probably noticed how assertive Ruth is."

"She's very butch. But very butch in private, too."

I gestured toward all the pink elements of the room.

"Not like you. This is a real girlie place."

"I like to be girlie. But I can push it off to one side when it's to my advantage. And I have the option to do that, because none of my accounting buddies will ever set foot in here. Not in a million years. This is my sanctuary - my special place - and I'll miss it when I'm married. If I could somehow keep it, and hide it from my husband, I would. But Tariq wants something much bigger - and in a more upscale neighborhood."

"For children, you mean?"

"He's been pretty clear. He wants sons. And he wants more than one."

"And what about what you want?"

"I want to stop trying to cope with the big, bad world all alone. He's the best of a bad bunch - and really, for the most part, I get to write my own ticket, since there just aren't that many virgins running around."

Again, I was too distracted by her cleavage to really register what she was saying.

"I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that."

"That I'm still a virgin. Still intact."

"You have an odd sense of humor, if you don't mind my saying so."

"No. You have an odd sense of humor - since you don't believe me. But I guess you could say that I'm used to it."

She came around the counter and lowered the front of her panties. Then she took my hand, and guided it to her vagina.

"Feel."

And, sure enough, it didn't take a surgeon to detect that the membrane that divided innocence from experience was still emphatically in place.

"Now I should probably say that I'm sorry for making a joke out of it."

Robin went around to the other side of the counter. She matter-of-factly exposed her body. And then she matter-of-factly covered it right up again.

"I've had skeptics before. The most important one being my future mother-in-law. When Tariq took me to meet his parents for the first time, she very politely cornered me in an upstairs bathroom, and had the same kind of adventure that you just had. Because she had absolutely no reason to believe me. And I'll explain to you what I explained to her: that staying this way has made my life so much simpler."

"I doubt that you explained everything to her."

"Maybe not everything. But all she wanted to make sure of was that I was not used merchandise. And, according to her definition, I wasn't. There was no need to explain all the other things I learned to do in college."

"But why did you learn them? A lot of the rest of us didn't learn them."

"Adventurous boyfriends, basically. I knew that I had years and years of school to go - CPA and MBA - then years and years of building a career. I couldn't have a baby in tow. And I couldn't face the mental strain of always wondering if that blood was going to be there the next month. If the plans for my life were going to be wrecked. So I came up with a compromise solution. Back on the bed, you wanted me. I could see it."

"Sorry...."

She waved that away.

"I'm used to it. Back in the day, all of them wanted it and wanted it and wanted it - and then would pout and act like it was the end of the world when I said 'no'. Then I offered them my once-in-a-lifetime deal: 'You can't put it in this hole. But you can put it in that hole. As long as you're nice about it.' And they perked right up."

"I'll bet they did."

"And all I really asked was that they just be careful. The same way I'm going to ask you to be careful. It's a longer lead in. And a little more work. But there's a nice payoff at the end if you can just be patient."

"You have a regular kind of climax from that?"

"I have. It's not frequent. But I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. And, when Tariq finally breaks the seal in Puerto Vallarte next month, there'll be a cry of real pain, and a bloody sheet, and everybody will be so happy."

"And will you tutor him in all the things you know how to do?"

"Come on! I'm supposed to be the blushing bride, remember. We went through the seduction routine on our very first date. He wanted it all. Right there in the car! But I wasn't going to fuck him in his car - or anywhere else - because I wanted him enough to give him the impression that I was a very old-fashioned kind of girl. And the more I resisted, the more he respected me. Once he knew he had a real virgin on his hands it was just a few weeks before I got this ring. Where else was he going to find a body, and a face, like this - completely untouched?"

"Doesn't sound like life with him is going to be easy."

"It will be an adjustment, for sure. But I have a pretty good idea how to handle him. Have you had enough to eat?"

"I think so. Don't we have to wait 45 minutes to get into the water?"

She came around the counter again.

"Very funny. But you still want me. I can see it."

"Ruth loves to talk about anticipation."

"Well - for a woman - that's golden time. The 'ramp up'. The prologue. Once you start pumping - well - pumping is pumping. Doesn't vary all that much. But - you know - waiting for the insertion, it can drive you kind of crazy."

"Maybe you can show me what you mean."

"Sure. Why don't you take my panties off, very slowly, and give my pretty pussy a little kiss while you're down there. You've been looking at it long enough."

"It's a look of pure admiration, though."

"Being hairless does wonders. I think, eventually, everyone will lose the hair. Girls have lost the hair everywhere else, and guys are starting to expect it. So go ahead and investigate. But don't do anything else. Just a kiss. You don't want to spoil things for me."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Not only did it look good. It smelled good. I could have stayed down there all day.

But there was other work to do.

"Now - unfasten my bra and give my nipples some work."

"You mean suck them?"

"If you want. Not too hard. And I'll explain what comes next."

My voice was a little muffled.

"Yes. Please explain what comes next."

"You're going to have to work on me awhile. You know: tongue, then finger, then tongue. You're going to have to be very patient. That's why Ruth recommended you."

"So - not the Last Tango in Paris treament, then."

"What a waste of time: that movie. It actually made me mad. In that butter scene, he's hurting her - and he knows it. If I had been in that dirty little room, I would found the knife, cut off his pecker, and handed it to him. I'm not into pain. Please remember. And there really is no pain - just the opposite in fact - if we're all lubed up, and we go nice and slow."

"Understood."

"I'm all about anticipation. That's the payoff for me."

"And not the enema?"

"Sure, that's fun. But, mainly, that's a favor for you. Peace of mind."

"And peeing in front of me?"

"More anticipation. Seeing most of my body. Then seeing all of it. Then seeing me do something private. Then touching me."

"Then squirting you."

"I didn't think you'd be that fast on the draw. I was about to tell you to shoot lower down. But you get the idea. The warmup. The prologue. The lead-in. You would know as well as anyone: once you're in, and pumping, it's all the same, isn't it? Friction. Friction. Friction. Kaboom. You look at things that way, all men really are the same."

"But not you. Women are all different."

"Right. All different. But anticipation, and situation, are still big parts of it - even though we all have different ways of going about it."

END OF CHAPTER TEN