I was relieved to not see or hear from Leo for the next 3
months. I was swollen to capacity with my baby and felt so
uncomfortable. When it was time for me to give birth, I had my
mother, father, sister, and many relatives at the hospital
waiting to meet the newest edition to the family.
My mother held my hand as I pushed with all my strength. "You're doing great, July." After 14 hours in labor a beautiful baby girl was born. They placed her little red, wrinkled face into my arms and her cries softened at my voice. "Shhh honey... Mommy's here." I ran a gentle finger on her cheek and smiled at her with such love. I didn't think of Leo when my baby was resting in my arms, only her.
"What's this girl's name?" The nurse asked me. "Elizabeth. Elizabeth Marie." I placed a light kiss on her forehead.
Months had passed with Elizabeth and there were thousands of pictures, toys, presents, and love. I was actually happy to have another human being on this planet that I loved more than myself. I spent day in and day out watching her, playing with her, talking to her, and loving her more than life itself.
I was sitting in the backyard with her, rocking her in my arms as I sat on a swing. I sang the song, "You are my Sunshine." to her.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray"
It was a sunny day when I had found the opportunity to encounter July once again. Her parents weren't at the city for some reason I don't remember now, leaving only July and my baby there. Here, they were at the backyard of the house. July had been holding our daughter in her arms, it was impossible for me not to smile with this beautiful view.
"You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"
There was a cute smile on my face when I was singing the song, despite the horrified look in July's face. I was wearing a white shirt and khaki trousers when I showed myself to July once again. Two buttons of my shirt were open, I was holding two roses in my hand.
"Elizabeth Marie... That's a beautiful name. Like her."
I pulled Elizabeth closer to my body when I saw you approach. "Leo! Don't come any closer..." I got up and started walking back to the house. "I'm calling the cops right now. I told you before. This is it." I glared at you with evil eyes and Elizabeth started to cry from my anxiety. She was sensing my fear so I cooed her. "Shhh Elizabeth, Mommy's here... Shhh"
I continued walking towards her, "July... All I want to do...
is to see our baby... I am still her father, no matter how she
was concepted. Don't make it any harder."
But I was afraid she would make it harder for me, awakening Beast, who waited for such a long time to be poked once again from his slumber in his lair.
Maybe he was never in slumber, he was just caged, I couldn't be sure of anything. All I felt was despair, as July kept herself and Elizabeth from me.
I reached the house before you reached me and quickly slide the
door behind me and locked it. I kissed Elizabeth's forehead as
I quickly walked up the staircase to the top floor of the
house. I went into my parents room and wrapped her in blankets
and sat her in the bathtub we washed her in. I picked up the
portable tub and hide it in their walk in closet.
"Shhh sweetheart. Be good for mommy. Don't make a sound." I hoped she would sleep and not make any noise. I rushed out of their room, leaving her there in secret. I looked down over the railing and listened for your footsteps or your voice, just in case you had broken in somehow. I knew you were resourceful. I ran into my room to find my cell phone to dial 911.
Oh fuck... I couldn't catch her before she slipped inside the
door and locked it. Breaking the door wasn't an option here, I
didn't want her parents to understand something happened here.
And there weren't any windows that I could climb into.
The only way I could break into the house was the main door. I just hoped the door hadn't deadbolt lock. I could simply jimmy the door's knob lock with my credit card. Thankfully, that was successful! I slipped inside her house, shouting "JULY! Please, all I want to do is to talk!". That would make her aware where I was, but even if I didn't shout, my footsteps and the jimmied door could be heard.
I checked the rooms at the ground floor of the house. July wasn't there. So I began climbing upstairs.
I heard your shouts from downstairs and panicked. My cell phone was right here the last time I checked, but now I couldn't find it. I heard the thumping of footsteps on the staircase and hide in my own closet and held my breath.
Then I began hearing the cry of a baby... I followed the sounds
through July's parents' bedroom. The sound was coming from
their closet, I opened it to see our little Elizabeth crying,
wrapped in blankets.
I gently picked her up in my arms, "Sssshhhhh, my baby, my precious one.... Do not cry.... Your father is here...."
I looked in her eyes, wondering if she had my eyes... Despite the horror I had created by just setting foot in this house, a heartfelt smile was on my face, with the happiness of finally having my baby in my arms. I sat on the bed, kissed the forehead of my daughter and I began rocking her in my arms till she calmed down.
"July, show yourself... I have found our baby in that closet!"
I thought July would show herself, in case I was harming our baby.
"I have found our baby in that closet!" I ran from the closet and bolted into the room. My eyes seared into you as you held Elizabeth. "Give me her!" I had both my fists at my sides.
I held Elizabeth closer to myself, "July, please! I beg you, calm down... I seek no harm!"
I lost it watching you hold her. She was my whole life now, and you are not a part of this life. "You're racking up a lot of charges here. Rape, Breaking and Entering, and now this!" I bolted from the room to find my phone. I didn't think you would hurt Elizabeth, but I didn't want you near her or me.
I gently left Elizabeth on the bed and followed July as she was
about to find her phone.
"Okay, so you are also ready for Lisa and your parents to watch... how you were raped. How you lost your virginity... And how you moaned you were mine. I know your father has a problem with his heart, should we show that video gradually?"
I slide behind the counter in the kitchen and found my phone
near the sink. I forced a smile onto my face. "You don't get
it. Elizabeth means more to me than anything, and I will never
let you see her. You can publish those videos on the internet,
show them to my family, do whatever you wish... But you will
never know her."
I had to protect my child. I knew you were mentally unstable, loving and caring one moment and the next you were a monster. I began to dial 911 from behind my back.
"But July... She is also my baby. You know I can do EVERYTHING
for her. Do you really think I will harm her whenever I visit
to see her?"
I kept approaching July. "I am a monster, I know... But you know that I can be full of love.... when I am close to the ones I love. Please..."
"A baby that you forced onto me without my consent. You have no right to see her. And you never will." I placed the phone near my ear. "911, what is your emergency?"
Oh great... She was dialing 911 when we were talking! I looked
around the kitchen, a meat knife was shining right on the
counter. I quickly picked it up and jumped over July, we both
fell on the kitchen's floor, the knife in my hand.
I pushed my body on July's body and laid the sharp edge of knife to her throat. "Put your phone on the ground... Right now!"
I slide the phone away from me as you laid the knife against my throat, but I didn't hit end call. We could both hear the operator, "What is your emergency? Hello?" They weren't allowed to hang up in case of situations like this. I pushed the phone out of my reach.
I leaned towards the phone, without realizing I stopped overwhelming July with my body weight. The knife wasn't on her throat when I reached the phone, but I was holding it strictly enough not to lose it.
When you reached for the phone I took my chance. I pushed off
of you and quickly ran for the stairs. I used my arms to pull
myself along the railing to quicken my pace. When I reached the
top of the stairs I went for my parents room and slammed the
door shut, locking it. I checked on Elizabeth for a second
before pushing a big night stand in front of the door. I
crawled onto the bed with Elizabeth and cradled her in my
"I'll keep you safe..." I ran over to my mother dresser and opened the drawer, removing a bright red shirt and opened the window facing the street outside. I waved the red shirt in the air vigorously trying to catch the attention of someone outside.
I closed the phone when I reached it, then I followed July to
the her parents' bedroom.
"Unlocking the bedroom's door must not be harder than the house's main door", I thought to myself as I jimmied the door with my credit card. I wasn't wrong. I opened the door to see July waving something out of the window. Probably in order to attract the attention.
I approached July with the knife in my hand, but not in such a menacing gesture. All I wanted was to make her stop from waving that thing. I grabbed her arm and pulled to over me, trying to overwhelm her once again.
I heard the door open and started screaming, "HELP! HELP!" I felt your arm grab mine and I dropped the shirt out the window. I looked from the knife to Elizabeth. "Don't hurt her..."
Grabbing her from behind, I kept the knife close on July's
throat. Its sharp side wasn't touching her throat, but there
was a space of one inch. Her whole back was facing my torso and
hips, she wouldn't be able to hit my stomach or genitals with
"July.... Be silent! Calm down! I will NOT hurt you..."
I realized it was funny for me to hold a knife to one's throat and say I won't hurt her. My voice was getting gradually softer.
"Well... I hold this knife only to show... I could hurt you now if I intented so... Please, calm down.... Let's speak..."
"Fine...We'll talk." As you relaxed more I stepped away from you, climbed onto the bed and picked up Elizabeth. I held her close to me and leaned against the pillows on the bed. "What do you have to say?"
I threw the knife to a distant corner of the room.
"I just... wanted to see her. I know what I am... A rapist. An insane person, still seeing treatment. But please..."
I got on my knees, keeping my head's level to hers. "Elizabeth is not yours only. She is also my baby. It was me who wanted the baby at the first place. Do you really believe I intent to harm her?"
I stared ahead not showing any emotion. I had to regain my
"Let me try to get you to see it from my point of view... I have had everything ripped out from under me. My entire life is no longer the same, and its all because of your doing. Now, you ask me to forgive you for all that in the biggest way possible which is to let you love this baby that is the only thing that is mine." I looked you with tearful eyes.
"It doesn't matter if you don't intend to harm her... You didn't intend to harm me either, right?"
I looked at the ground with the shame of what I had done to
"But it is different... You know what I wanted from you... It wasn't something as simple as just seeing you and fondling your hair, was it?"
I crossed my legs at the thought. "And what about this is
simple to you? This is a little human being, a precious,
innocent, and beautiful little girl. I can barely stand to look
at you, let alone let you hold my Elizabeth." I couldn't
believe you were asking me to be involved in her life...
"You don't think she'll notice later on how I cringe at your voice, your presence... You just think I should forgive you and treat you like a normal person? It's not going to happen."
"What can I say... You are right... She will eventually feel
that I hurt you... But let me hold her for a final time? I will
miss her so greatly..."
And I was sincere with what I said...
I stood up and walked to the door to shut it again in case you decided to run off with her. I stood in front of the door to block your way. "Fine. You can hold her one time and that's it." I still couldn't unlock my arms from her as you reached for her little body. Every alarm in my body was telling me this was wrong, but nonetheless I let you hold her in the hopes that would be enough to keep you away...forever.
I gently held my daughter in my arms, I spoke looking in her
eyes. She was looking at my eyes, too, when I spoke, as if she
"Elizabeth Marie... I am so sorry for what I have done to mom... She and you deserved someone much better than me. I just hope you never encounter a man someone like me. And have a happier life than me and mom. Goodbye, my precious one... Just know that your father loves you, despite what he is."
I put a goodbye kiss on her forehead before placing her back on the bed. She began crying, trying to reach for me when I left her.
"Okay... Now I can go..." I headed for the door, looking at July with red eyes.
I had an undeniable feeling of sickness watching you with her. I was relieved when you sat her down and her crying sent me into tears. I moved out of your way. "Go ahead." I didn't have any good words for you, or well wishes. I just wanted you gone.
Leo: I put my hands on my jean's pocket to take my wallet off.
I pulled a piece of paper and put it on the bed, out of the
reach of Elizabeth. That was a cheque, giving $250k dollars to
July, the whole money I could save during my lifetime. And the
value of what I had inherited before and had just sold.
I walked past July without looking at her. Before I went downstairs, I turned myself to her, "By the way, you don't need to call the police and put yourself in a shameful position to get rid of me. You will understand what I mean soon... Just know that you were my love of life..."
I continued going downstairs without saying anything. After exiting her house, I moved to the car I had hired before visiting July and the baby.
I stared at you with confusion as you as you laid a piece of
paper on the bed... I had intended to call the police the
second you left and report you for everything. As you walked
downstairs I went over to the bed to see what the paper
"Oh my god... $250,000?" I couldn't help but stare at it with an open mouth. Was he trying to shut me up with money since the black mail didn't work? I put the check down and held Elizabeth again in my arms and walked over to the window, watching you walk to your car.
I stepped inside the car and opened the black leather bag,
which was awating me on the driver's seat. There was only one
item in the bag; it was a revolver.
And now, these are my thoughts passing in my mind right now; as my revolver's cold, metal barrel is pointed at my heart. I know what I am and what I will stay as for my whole lifetime. Nothing can change the fact that I have raped July more than once. And Elizabeth Marie is the fruit of one of those rapes. Beast will never be killed, unless I am killed with him.
I wanted to be close to July when I'd do this thing. I wanted July to know that she and our baby will be safe from my insanity.
Okay... I am ready to pull the trigger.
And from that moment, Beast disturbed neither July, nor Elizabeth Marie once againRead more: http://64shadesofgrey.freeforums.net/conversation/82#ixzz2PXKu3SbF
I held Elizabeth close as the door shut to his car. I let a long breath out as I looked down at my baby, once again safe in my arms. "Elizabeth... Shh don't cry. Mommy's here." BANG. I heard a loud sharp noise from outside that made me flinch. My eyes scanned the street for the source of the noise until I realized it was Leo... I walked into my room and laid Elizabeth down in her crib where she started to cry.
"Oh God. Oh God." I said to myself as I flew down the stairs and flung the front door open to find my neighbors rushing the car. My heart sank to the ground, skin turned pale white, and I ran to the car. I could see splatters of red on the drivers window. "July... Call 911! This man has shot himself!" I called 911 immediately. "Do you know him, July?" They asked since he was in my drive way. "Yes... I know him." I said as tears starting forming in my eyes.
I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I couldn't look at his body, something that tormented me for a week, now sitting lifeless in this car. I ran back into the house and picked up Elizabeth who was crying furiously. "Shhh Elizabeth. You can't possibly know..." I looked out the window again as the ambulance arrived. I carried her outside with me and watched as the paramedics felt for a pulse. I saw them shake there head and stepped back from the car.
I closed my eyes as the first of many tears fell. How could he do this? Was this my fault? That night I dreamt about you.
I was lying underneath you as you slide into me again. I could feel the heat from your body making me sweat, the hair on your chest rubbing against my breasts. I could feel your eyes feasting on my skin, watching me writhe in disgust. "I hate everything about you... I hope you die!" The words flashed through my mind before I shot straight up in bed. I looked around the room as if you would be there. I stressed my eyes in the dark to look for your silhouette in the shadows. But you weren't there.You would never be there.You were dead.
This is not the last chapter... Please come back for 1 more chapter! Please drop by and thank SirLost on his page or in the comments! We still need to write the next chapter so it may be a day or two before it's up.