That night had passed even worse than the first night. Now I
was sexually satisfied, having fucked a pretty girl at her ass,
but storms were roaring inside me. My face was buried to the
pillow when I had fallen asleep, I had been sobbing in the
darkness and isolation of my room. I hated myself with my whole
heart. And July. I know I wasn't right to hate her, I was her
rapist, but I still hated her.
I woke up from a nightmare at the morning. It was about the first day of the cruise. I was approaching July at the bar, I was giving her that drink with heart-stirrer. And she noticed the heart-stirrer on her drink, she just threw the glass over me and laughed, "How dare could you serve me this? You are a piece of shit! You are not worth even for kissing my feet!". I got ready for bar, wearing my uniform. It had surprised me to see July at the bar's entrance. I would be cold towards her.
I walked down to the bar but you were standing behind it stocking things for the start of the day... My heart raced with each step towards you. You didn't look very happy. "Hey. Uhmmm... Leo... I lost my room key..." I didn't know what else to say to you.
I talked with a cold voice.
"Okay. If you walk about 200 meters from this way...", I showed a direction, " ...you'll see an information office. Tell them you have lost your card, they will redirect you to lost items section. Any other question?"
I reached up to brush away the tears before they fell. I hated
myself for crying like this in front of you, for showing you
that you had ultimately broken me down.
"And what should I tell them about this?" I motioned with my fingers to my face and clothes. Surely they would ask me what happened to my face with all the scratches, dirt, and traces of blood mixed in. I looked like shit and I knew it.
"Ahhh... I got it. Okay, then let's do this: Let me open the
door for you now. You get clean, have rest... And then I will
search for your card. As I was following you, I know the way
you used before... I raped you."
I looked away with shame after voicing that event.
I led her to the passenger's cabin. "Have you used any different path after I left you?"
"Have you used any different path after I left you?" I nodded
my head slowly. "When one of the cleaning ladies found me in
that room... I ran away and went this way..." I explained all
my steps to you as we approached the room.
I tried to hold my composure as I walked with you, but my emotions would not allow it. I kept wiping tears away and hanging my head low whenever other people walked by so they couldn't see my disheveled appearance.
I opened the door for her, "I will bring it to the room if I
find it". And I said nothing else.
I quickly traversed the path we had used before the rape. I have found a card lying on the staircases with the ID of 23676. I compared the number with the one I noted at the first night, it was really her card.
Then I want back to July's room, knocked on her door. I gave her the card without saying anything.
You opened the door for me and I stepped inside. I half
expected you to come in and rape me while you had the chance,
but instead you said, "I will bring it to the room if I find
I shut the door and slide down it as the sobs came again. The room was dark so it fit my mood perfectly. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face into my arms. I sat there for a while before getting up to call room service. I ordered some food and water for myself because I was famished. I waited on my bed until I heard a knock on the door. It was you. You handed me the card and the left without a single word. Maybe I finally gave him what he wanted, I thought to myself.
I climbed into the shower and washed away all the dirt and blood from my body. The gashes on my knees burned as the water ran over them and the same for the scratches on my face. I used nearly all the body wash they supplied to us until I felt clean once again. I examined the little cuts on my face and hands, they were barely noticeable now.
I got dressed in a sundress and left to find Lisa... Even if she was a bitch and a horrible sister I needed someone right now.
At a time I wasn't occupied with the bar customers, around 5:00
PM, I sent an SMS to July: "9:30 PM, in front of my bar. Be
pretty like the 'mirror' day."
My shift ended at 9:00, but I had some work to do. I wrote a testament letter, willing to leave my whole wealth to July. And to our baby, if s/he ever will be born. I was pushing July to the limits, I knew I could be in legal trouble even if she didn't report me. People would notice she had been repeatedly raped. And you know what I would do when I encountered such a problem.
I had a quick shower and facial shaved. I wore my white shirt, black trousers. Smell of a good perfume, was carried with me when I was waiting for July for a final night. I was still as cold as ice that night.
I spent the day refueling my body with food and water. I was
about to leave for dinner with Lisa when I got a text, "9:30
PM, in front of my bar. Be pretty like the 'mirror' day." I
cringed at the thought, but complied anyway. I went to dinner
with Lisa and then said goodbye as she headed towards the bar.
I made my way back to the room.
I put on my body hugging leopard dress and black heels just like the first night of the cruise. I brushed on a little bit of foundation to cover my scratches from last night, and did a deep smoky eye. I finished all my makeup and looked at myself, I didn't look anything like a girl who was broken.
I left the room early at 9 PM because I didn't want to make you angry. I walked into the bar at 9:21 PM and took a stool in front of the bar where you always worked.
After my preparations, I had arrived the bar at the 9:25.
Looking around, I noticed July sitting on a stool. I wasn't
expecting her to come this early, but it made me happy
I approached her stool, sat next to her.
"You are early, my pretty one... It seems like that worked. Once Nietzsche said 'You go to women? Do not forget the whip!'. It is so sad that he was right."
I noticed July hadn't begun drinking yet. "What would you like to drink?", I asked her. Then I ordered July's drink and myself a glass of whiskey.
"You won't be hurt this evening. Relax yourself.", but I was still cold to her.
"It seems like that work. Once Nietzsche said 'You go to women?
Do not forget the whip!'. It is so sad that he was right." I
sat there tapping my fingers on the bar without replying to
you. "What would you like to drink?" I hadn't intended on
drinking tonight, but I figured it was best to just go along
with everything you said tonight.
"I'll have a Cruiser..." I needed something sweet to even out this bitter taste in my mouth. "You won't be hurt this evening. Relax yourself." I forced a slight smile, but I doubted your words. Your demeanor was so cold that I feared what tonight would bring.
We sipped our drinks in silence. There was really nothing much
to talk about. I was feeling both hate and love for July, but
it didn't make me want to hurt her. The trauma she had been
suffering, because of my sick desires, must have been
compensating it more than sevenfold.
After our drinks were finished, "I want to fuck you, like usual. I will be gentle. But I want something different, too...". I kept my silence for a few seconds.
"I want to sleep with you..."
I knew it would be hard for her.
"I think Lisa could disturb us, if we slept in your room. So let's move to my room? If your current dress is not comfortable for sleeping, then we can take comfortable clothes from your room."
"I want to fuck you, like usual. I will be gentle. But I want
something different, too..." I tensed up as you went silent.
What else could he possibly want from me?
"I want to sleep with you..." I blinked with confusion, but quickly agreed because I knew I didn't have a choice in the matter. This was the last night and then I was DONE.
"I think Lisa could disturb us, if we slept in your room. So let's move to my room? If your current dress is not comfortable for sleeping, then we can take comfortable clothes from your room." I took a final sip of my drink.
"I want to get other clothes..." I waited for you to finish your whiskey before we left to go back to my room. I used my own room key and walked in to rummage through my drawers for something comfortable. Light blue pajama shorts and a white tank top were good for me. I shoved the clothes into my bag and turned to leave with you.
I smiled at her as she came with the comfortable clothes. I was
getting warmer with the effect of whiskey.
Without touching her, I led her to the lower floor of crew's cabins. I opened the door of my cabin, turned on the lights and kept the door open as she was stepping inside.
"Here, that's my world..."
It could be a minimalistic, usual room; but there were charcoal drawings on the walls with Leo's signature. Some of the drawings were depicting lovers. In one of them, the couple was standing naked, the man was cuddling her woman from behind. Another one, couple was sitting on a couch. They were clothed, the woman was hugging her man, as the man rested his head on her light-colored hair. Other drawing depicted two hands holding each other. A lightly-hairy hand and a delicate woman hand.
The other pictures were about inner wrath. One of them depicted an agry lion's face, with a long scar on his eyes. Other depicted a man breaking the mirror in front of him. Another one, dark silhoutte of a man hang himself.
None of the pictures had frames, they were all attached to the walls with bluetags.
Leo walked at the white bed in the center of the room.
I stepped into the tiny room and my eyes instantly shifted to
the drawings on the walls. I saw how the pictures progressed
from romantic and sensual to angry. I wondered if you drew
these over the course of our week together or if you'd had them
You walked over toward the bed in the center of the room and I followed you, placing my bag of things on the floor near the bed. I stood with hands resting on my hips and watched your every move. I still had an eerie feeling when I was around you.
As I was sitting on the bed, I motioned July to come and sit
near me, patting on the bed. After she sat, I gently hold her
and began kissing her.
"You are so beautiful... I recognized the dress. You wore it the first day... When I laid my eyes on you...", I continued kissing her lips and neck.
Still kissing her, I laid ourselves on the bed, our legs still close to the carpet on the bed's side.
I slowly walked over to the bed putting one foot in front of
the other. I sat on the edge of the bed rigidly and stared at
"You are so beautiful... I recognize the dress. You wore it the first day... When I laid eyes on you..." You started kissing me and I had to try a little bit. I needed to make you happy so this would all be over. I relaxed my body into your arms and let you kiss down my neck as you laid me back on the bed.
I changed my position, I got on my knees on the carpet, facing
"Relax yourself...", I said, taking her black heels off. I rubbed her two bare, delicate feet, "There is no part of your body... that I don't want to lick..." I buried my face on her two soles, licking her right one along her heel and toes.
My lips began moving along her right leg, starting from her ankle. My head was buried between her legs when I reached her groins, I slipped it under the skirt of her leopard dress. She could feel the light bites and kisses I had been leaving on her underwear. Soon, I peeled the cloth off with my teeth. I didn't let her underwear go, my hands were on her legs as the cloth was pulled down. After taking it off her ankles, I took a bite of left foot's arch and big toe. My hand was running along her waxed leg, my lips sucking on her toe painted pinkish red.
I began unbuttoning my shirt, gazing at between her legs.
I propped myself up on my elbows as you got off the bed and knelt facing my legs. "Relax yourself..." Images of you pushing me to concrete flashed through my mind... Stop thinking about that, July... Keep it together. I tried to talk myself through this as you licked and rubbed from my inner thighs down to my toes.
After taking my shirt off, I stood up and began unzipping my
trousers. I pulled it down with my boxers. My penis wasn't
completely erected, its circumcised head was leaking pre-cum
like always. Pubic area and testicles looked shaved (it had
been only one day since I shaved them).
"There is something we have never done yet... I guess you have never given a blowjob before? ........ Good... Hold it, gently."
I began rubbing my hand on my dick, as if I was masturbating. "Rub it like that... Then lick its head. Lick the shaft and my testicles. Like an ice-cream."
"There is something we have never done yet..." I stared at your
penis with a new sense of hatred. "I guess you have never given
a blowjob before?" I shook my head nervously, I had only heard
stories from girls that had about how much they hated it. I
slide off the bed and onto my knees in front of you, waiting
for your instruction.
"Good... Hold it gently." I reached out my shaky hand and took hold of it. I closed my fingers around it and started rubbing up and down half-heartedly. Despite my lack of enthusiasm I could feel it hardening at my slightest touch.
"Then lick its head. Lick the shaft and my testicles. Like an ice-cream." I forced my tongue out my mouth only an inch and leaned forward, but when I came face to face with the tip I slipped my tongue back into my mouth. I took a deep breath.
Come on, July... Just make him happy. Make him happy and this will all be over with. I poked my tongue back out and licked your head. I wanted to get up, run away, and never have sex again but I knew that wasn't an option. I licked it again and started moving my hand once more over your veiny penis.
"Isn't it a powerful thing?", I said as she was licking my
dick. "It can make a woman happy... and it can also destroy
"Come on... Lick its shaft... and balls...", my veiny dick was getting swollen with excitement.
After she licked the rest of my genitals, I held her head, groping her blonde hair with my two hands. "Open your lips...", I slowly pushed my erected penis along her pretty lips. As my dick's tip reached half of her tongue, I pulled it back and pushed again.
"MMMmmhhhhhhh yessss!", my hips movement got faster, but it wasn't as fast as I raped her pussy. I pulled my stiff penis out of her lips, "Ahh, greaat.... Now take your dress off. And lay on the bed."
I began taking my trousers, shoes and socks off as she laid on the bed, staying naked. I laid next to her, but at an inverted position. Our heads were facing each other's hips, about to start a 69.
"It can make a woman happy... and it can also destroy her." I
narrowed my eyes at you. I was doing what you asked, but you
still felt the need to take little jabs at me.
I licked the underside of your penis because I remember my friends saying that was one of the most sensitive spots. I continued down and licked your balls as you buried your hands into my hair.
"Open your lips..." Oh God... This is the part they all complained about. I knew you could see the fear and hesitation on my face as I opened my mouth for you. I tasted the pre-cum again as you slipped it past my lips. It hit my tongue first and then pushed back farther into my mouth making me gag even from just a few inches.
"Ahh, great... Now take your dress off. And lay on the bed." I untied the halter and let it fall down my shoulders. I slide the dress down over my hips and legs and stepped out of it. I laid down on the bed and was close up with my worst enemy again.
I moaned as she was licking the underside of my penis, "Ahhhhh
yessss I loove it! My goood giiirl!".
I knew she hated having my cock in her mouth, especially because it was the dick that has stolen her joy of life and virginities. But I wouldn't let her go before doing everything I wanted.
After getting us in 69 position, I licked my lips, gazing at her waxed pussy.
"Okay... You know what to do...", I tingled my penis muscle voluntarily, as its head was pointed at her face.
I groped her ass with my two hands, buried my head between her legs. Firstly, her womanhood was repeatedly licked all along; starting above her belly, ending at a point close to her anus. Then I began kissing, sucking her slit with lust, knowing it was our final night (probably).
My tongue slipped inside her labia, its tip found her clitoris to stimulate.
"Okay... You know what to do..." I grabbed the base of your
penis a guided the tip into my mouth again. I sucked on the tip
for a minute before attempting to push it farther into my
mouth. I tried to remember what those magazines had said, slow
down...suck up... or maybe not... I couldn't concentrate very
well as you were kissing and sucking me too.
I gagged several times everytime I tried to push it farther than a few inches. I tried my best to lick the head and suck on it without gagging or involuntarily groaning with disgust.
"Let it go, July! Let it go!!! Surrender yourself to me, your
I continued nibbling on her pussy, groping her ass strictly. My tongue was licking her cunt wildly.
I couldn't hold a few drop of semen getting ejaculated into her mouth, dick head was at half of her tongue at that time. I quickly pulled my penis out of her mouth, my cum still dripping off, I looked down to her mouth.
"Swallow it!", I ordered her, stopping to bite her pussy.
My dick was still stiff, despite having ejaculated some semen. It was enough to inseminate her.
Well, I wouldn't leave her even after cumming into her pussy once, anyway! The night was long.
Your tongue was moving so fast and firm over my clit that I
felt myself on the verge of an orgasm. An orgasm I didn't want.
I pushed your penis into my mouth again and felt something mix
with my saliva, something salty. You pulled your erect penis
from my mouth and a sticky line of cum dripped onto my chin.
"Swallow it!" You bite my clit lightly as a warning and I swallowed it before wiping off my chin.