We are shadowy, twilight creatures, two animals fighting in the depths of the night. One on one. Real. Raw. It hurts. There is no one here to see us transform. Struggling, we are two creatures in the shadows of the night. A violent past, psycho eyes. And a mad smile to each other. One on one. We touch. It is like a fight. He holds me down. We entwine naked upon the bed. "No, no," I cry, cry real tears as he pins back my arms. I kick out, yet think, a voice in my head says, take me if you can, rape me if you want. He pulls my defiant limbs. He turns me on. Turns me around. Crazy eyes and shadowed jaw. He looks so bad. That is why it is so good. The tip of his tongue explores me.
"Do you trust me?" he asks.
"No," I am defiant and I push him away as he holds his snaky tongue inside my mouth. He holds me down and tries and tries and tries again. It is like a fight. My wild strong man, take me if you can, rape me, rape me if you want. Nails graze. I bite his shoulders. I cut deeper, deeper lacerations into his shining skin. He moans, grunts, the sound of an animal in pain. Veins protrude from his tense, muscular neck, pumping blood to the mask with the psycho eyes. There is a sudden tightness, a painful churning in my stomach, my ovaries. A sword is thrusting inside, stinging. He has lanced me. I scream, then smother sobs as I grip his shoulder in my jaw, growling, noises forced out with the pounding, pounding of his hips.
One on one. There is no one here to see us change. From human form to animal to spirit. It as raw and real. He is my demon. My god. Just a piece of meat, pounding, pounding. In the twilight he changes again. He could be anyone. Any one of those men, those strangers. We transform. We are fantasy animals from the mythical planes of good and evil. There is no one here to see us change. He is a beast with winged arms, falling upon me as I growl and snarl and bite. Beneath this human guise, stripped of flesh and bone, we are beasts of the ether of our imagination, of the night, emerging from unknown dominions. There is no one here to see us change. Two animals entwine.
I hold him close. Like a mother to a son; like a sister to a brother, like a gangster to a gun, like a lover to a lover.
I touch his scalp. Wet with perspiration and his shaved head so soft like a baby. What a bad, bad baby. What a bad, bad boy. What a beautiful man. You are my beautiful man. He clings to me. I put my arms around his strong back. Two strangers holding tight together, lost upon a spinning world. And I am sure I heard him whisper, "Please make it safe, please make it safe."
"You're a man, you're a man." No regrets at all.
I light a cigarette. It is getting light. I have a bruise. Streaks of semen, blood upon my skin. They seep into my pores, disappear. We smoke and do not speak. A train rolls through the city in the distance. I will always remember this twilight time with him. I will always remember this night.