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Dominant or Submissive?

Essay By: venusandmarz

contemplating strap-ons in my relationship

Submitted:Jan 13, 2011    Reads: 1,005    Comments: 1    Likes: 1   

I've been intrigued by strap-ons lately and I just got done watching the renowned video "Bend Over Boyfriend". The instructors described what it is like for the man - blah blah blah - and then there were the actors who portrayed the couples willing to experiment with strap-on dildos, and when they got to that part I was lost. Lost in fantasy that is, because one of the guys looked just like my ex. The ex of the tumultuous relationship that I could barely escape from alive. My ex was so beautiful, and as shallow as that makes me seem, it was a huge part of what kept me hooked. So anyway, to see this porn with a guy looking like my gorgeous ex was hot hot hot! The look-a-like guy was wearing a spiked collar and licking the stilettos of his female partner, and then he was taking it up the ass from the dildo-wearing wench and it totally reminded me of our relationship because I was always the dominant one - but unfortunately not when it came to sex. It might have been fun to experiment with a little dominant/submissive erotica like in the video but our dominant/submissive role-playing was outside the bedroom. I played Mommy and he played teenage son. I drove him everywhere, I bought his food, I cooked and cleaned for him, and told him to keep the music down when he (always) played it too loud. This was not a role I was proud of and frankly I have no idea how I got myself into that mess because usually I prefer a man who has got himself together and has at least an air of self-assurance. I want a man who is as far away as possible from the emotionally-stunted, unavailable, never-around father that I grew up with. I want to be dominated. I want my man to take charge. And yet.....and yet..... I am an Aries and tend to get very sassy, when you push me too far. So it is as I fear, I am too mixed up to be a proper dominant or a proper submissive, but I gotta say, I really liked that image of my ex's doppelganger licking that woman's shoe and writhing in exctasy. It was like watching my ex have kinky sex with someone else and THAT turned me on. I'll have to do another post just on strap ons alone (my original intent) because today I got too sidetracked. And now please excuse me while I go rewind the dvd......


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