Will You Be My Fantasy?

By: jennyserotica

Page 1, These are the first three chapter of my lastest novel, a dark erotic thriller. The idea for the book came about while working the chat lines. The subject matter was one that seemed most talked about, and one I found myself enjoying the most to the point of reliving the fantasy to total believability. When I’m working I am Jolene, a woman who can be anyone the callers want her to be and as her I can fulfil their dirtiest, depraved and darkest desires. Jolene becomes whoever they need her to be.

Chapter One

The phone rang shrilly in the silence of her flat. For the sixth, or was it seventh, time that evening, she picked it up, slipping into the persona she had only recently acquired. “Hello, you’re through to Rose,” she purred seductively, allowing her sultry tones to travel down the mouthpiece, across the ether of the network, and into the caller’s ear, provoking a rush of sensations into his brain, and then coursing down to his lower regions.

“So, this is your first time, babe?” This she knew because he came through as a first time caller.

On the far end of the line, the caller made a soft, hesitant sound before answering; “Ummm, yes it is.  My… My name’s ‘er Rick.”

Rose smiled at the telephone, she knew it wasn’t, they very rarely gave their real names, and why would they. She gave him a low, intimate chuckle. “Yes, I thought so. Don’t be nervous, I’ll be gentle.” An air of confidence flooded her attitude as Rick enquired:

“ How old are you? You sound young.

“I’m thirty-eight,” she informed him, “and you?”  From his voice, she could tell that he was not convinced, as he ventured:

“Really? I’m thirty-two but you do sound quite a bit younger.”

Taking it as his preference, Rose offered,  “I can be younger, if you prefer?”

“No, no. That’s okay,” she heard him swallow loudly, as if gathering himself, and then, he plunged in:

 Do you mind if I ask what you look like?”

“That’s what I’m usually asked,” Rose purred.  “I’m five-foot-seven, dress size sixteen.  I’ve got long, naturally wavy, blonde hair, and blue eyes. Nice, good size tits and a trimmed pussy. I’ve got a short skirt on and a low-cut top. Black lacy panties and matching bra.” She had only really lied about her clothes, which were, in reality, far less provocative than she had told him. But he could not see her, and the image of a girl in her lingerie was far more arousing than the truth, she knew. Just as he did not need to know about the slight signs of world-weariness that marked her pretty face.

“You sound really nice,” Rick replied, sounding excited, before offering:  “Do you want to know what I look like?”

“Yes. Indeed I would,” Rose replied, deliberately matching the interest in his voice with her own.  Her caller cleared his throat, and revealed,

“I’m six-two, quite large build, I do weights a bit.  I’ve got short-cropped hair, brown, and I’ve also got blue eyes. And, I’ve got seven inch knob.”

Even though she had heard it all before, Rose made sure that she sounded impressed as she drawled:

“Mmmm, nice. I like my men big, all over,” she gave a low, sexy chuckle designed to tickle Rick’s libido, and asked:  “So, is there anything in particular you’d like to talk about?  Anything that makes you really,” she dropped her voice even lower, “really horny? As there’s just us two, we can talk about anything. Look at it as though it’s your chance to go really wild.”

“Well,” Rick ventured, “I’d like a girl to ride me. You know, straddle. I like the thought of a small young girl bouncing up and down on my lap with my knob buried inside her tight young pussy.”

Rose smiled, knowingly, and suggested:

“Let’s say I’m eighteen. We can imagine anything, can’t we? Now, where are you right this minute?

“Sitting on my sofa, in shorts and a tee-shirt.”  His voice sounded breathy already.

“Well imagine I’m stood in between your legs, right now. Close your eyes.  I’m so close you can almost smell my sweet perfume. I’m pulling my top up over my head revealing my beautiful breasts, the nipples erect, dark and inviting. They bounce free of the tight garment. I unzip my skirt and now I’m slowly, slowly, pushing it down.”

“Aaahhh, mmmm, yes,” Rick sighed, beginning to squirm as Rose’s words conjured the image in his mind. “I can see that.  Mmmm.”

“Now I’m stood in just my little black lacy panties,” she breathed throatily. “I take hold of your hand and place it between my legs so you can feel how wet my panties are. I slip your fingers inside my wanton slit so you can feel my hot juicy lips as I let you explore inside me.  Feel me thrusting against your fingers?”

Rick groaned out loud: “Oohhh, yeah, baby. Fuck those fingers,” he grunted. “You dirty bitch!”

Rose moaned out her pleasure at his groaning in her ear. “Ooh, yes. Go on, see how many you can push in. Let me fuck them. Ohh, yeah, that’s it, all four.  Aaahh.  Fuck, you’ve got me so wet and horny, desperate for that big cock. Pull my panties down, big man. I’m gonna climb onto that big stiff cock of yours. I want it buried deep inside me. I’m stood over you now, my legs each side of you. I’m going to squat down on you and rub my wet juicy cunt all over your face. Ooh yes. That’s it, lick it, taste it.  Ooooohh, I’m riding your face now, you dirty fucker.”

Breathing heavy as he tossed himself harder, Rick moaned:  “Fuck! I wanna put my finger up your tight little arse.”

Gasping at the thought of his probing finger, Rose squealed: “Oh fuck, yes. Thrust it up my arsehole, you dirty bastard! Ooh, yeah.  Aaahh I can feel you fingering my tight arsehole.  Now, I‘m sliding down your chest with my big heavy tits bouncing on your face. Suck those nipples, you fucker. Suck ‘em hard,” she squealed again, and moaned:  “I‘m sitting down hard on that fucking big cock of yours. Oooooo, fuck that’s so big,” she panted. “I wanna ride it all night, babe. Yes, yes, aaahhhh oh yeah, oh yeah!”

“That’s it you little dirty bitch,” Rick growled.  “Ride that fucking big dick hard.  Oooooohh, fuck! That’s it! I’m cuming, you dirty slut. Cumming right up that tight little cunt of yours. Here it is babe, all for you.  Aarrgh, arrghhh. Aaaahhhhhh! Panting hard down the phone he gasped. “Fuck me, girl. You’re good!”

“Why thank you kind Sir,” Rose chuckled over the phone. “Do ‘cum’ again.” For a moment, she was almost embarrassed at the pun, but then again, she never could help herself!

“Oh, God, babe. I will ,” Rick assured her.  “You were great, and that voice of yours.  Phew! It might have been my first time but it certainly won’t be my last. Do you ever meet up with some of the guys?”

“Not as yet,” she teased, “but I never say never.” She did not plan to meet any of them, but then again, she thought as she hung up, there were a lot of things in her life she had never planned to do. Besides, no harm in keeping the guys hoping.

For starters she had never planned to talk about sex for a living. But, as with everything in life, circumstance could be blamed for all kinds of changes, for all sort of people, and for all sorts of reasons. Nowadays, you had to go where the money was.

Having one failed marriage and a long-term relationship that ended recently leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. A taste that, as yet, she had not been able to rid herself of because the man concerned still clung to the remnants of their tattered love affair. Not that she ever called it that. Talk about ‘where is the love?’  Not in her life, not with him! From now on men were a big no-no in her life. But as things turned out, she reflected, you never know what fate has in store for you.

Suzanna had an excellent telephone manner, something she developed over the years as a call centre operator. She often flirted with some of the male clients over the phone. She had even gone as far as enjoying and responding to some of the clients she chatted with. She was not sure where the idea to go further had come from. It had been a mad, spur-of-the-moment idea that had just popped into her head.  Sex chat-lines. She had found herself stunned, almost conflicted, as she weighed the idea in her mind for all of two minutes, and then… Why not? Why not be just that bit more outrageous and far removed from anything else she had ever done before? With that thought, that sudden spark of naughtiness and strong resolution, she had made it happen.

She stumbled, quite by accident one day in the jobcentre while investigating the few jobs that suited her skills that they had to offer when her eyes fell upon an advert for chat operator. The skills they required were simple and for her quite basic: Friendly, chatty, easy-going and a fun person who communicated well over the phone. It ended with being part of an adult chat company. When Suzanna returned home and check out the website it was like a light-bulb flashing in her head, it was indeed the something different she’d been looking for.

She applied online, three weeks later the paperwork came through, after reading through the pamphlet included a few times she discovered she would have to create a whole new persona. Apparently, they advised every new operator to invent a different persona for security reasons, in the event of a caller recognising you in the street or, worse still a family member. This she took up on with great relish. She knew what name she wanted to use instantly, Rose. Not only was it far removed from her own name it always reminded her of that saying; a Rose without any other name could not smell any sweeter…and roses were her favourite flowers.

Although Suzanna had only been working the lines for a month, she had gradually grown more confident with answering each call. On this particular night she had logged off to cook her evening meal. It was her one-month anniversary of her new job, so she had cooked herself something a little special, her favourite dish always as bit of a treat, beef Bourginion.  However, as she was sitting down, getting ready to enjoy it, her phone rang. This in itself it was a bit odd, first since not too many people knew her number and second because it was close to ten at night, so she knew it could not be a cold caller. Perhaps, she reasoned, she had not logged off properly, since if you did not press the correct buttons on the telephone key- pad this could quite easily happen, and had done so on more than one occasion before.  Tentatively, she picked up the receiver. Silence greeted her. Puzzled, she said a soft “Hello?”

A cold chill travelled down her spine at the sound of a disembodied voice, a voice she had hoped never to hear again in a million years, merrily greeted her:

“Hey babe, found you at last!”

“Gary?” she whispered to herself in complete disbelief at the realisation. “What do you want?” She knew what she wanted and that was not to have this, or any other, conversation with the man. Since finally being brave enough to break free from him and his shackles. Starting out all over again always seemed so daunting, but after a few set-backs, like losing her new job at a credit-card call centre, and her new flatmate moving out to live with her boyfriend, she had found herself this new job, she was getting by and, most of all, she was, or had been, free of him. Until now. Hatred welled up in her throat until it almost choked her. The audacity of the man! But then, that was Gary Coleman.

“Just wanted to know how you were and to tell you I miss you, babe. You know, Annie there never really was any need for you to go.”

She hated it when he called her that, like it was not even worth the effort of saying her name. Suzanna listened as he prattled on, rebuking her for leaving him, arguing that him having another woman couldn’t possible be the reason she had for leaving him…blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!  His words became a continuous drone in her brain. He was no longer worth the effort of actually listening to what he had to say.  The only thing she did pay attention to was how he had gotten hold of her number:

Apparently, he had bumped into her close friend Linzi who, believing Suzanna to be a bit of a drama queen, would not accept either that he had cheated on her or that he had kept her like a prisoner. She could not blame Linzi though, not really; no one ever knew what she had gone through under the same roof as the generous, charming, polite gentleman that Gary portrayed himself in public.  She even remembered having this conversation with Linzi, once, and that her friend had not believed her then:

“Surely he can’t be as bad as all that, Suzanna,” she had said.

“You never know someone till you live with them,” Suzanna had told her. “The Gary you see is not the man I’ve had to live with.”

“Tell me, then,” Linzi had asked her. “Tell me what he does that’s so bad, that’s so different from how he is when I see him?”

For Suzanna, the emotions had still been too raw for her to go into too much detail, but instead, she had tried to make Linzi understand.

“Linzi, after Terry left me because as you know I couldn’t have children, Gary was the first man I met, and he just accepted that fact. He didn’t want kids, so for him it wasn’t an issue, and I was quite happy with that. Terry and I got married at nineteen, and that was all I really knew, so being with Gary kind of let me continue being that person. And at first, that was great, but then, all he wanted was to get rid of every part of me that didn’t fit that role, that wasn’t the obedient little housewife he wanted.

“I was pretty much a prisoner,” she had gone on. “He wouldn’t let me leave the house without him, or at least without his permission. He told me what to wear. When we went out, he told me what I could or could not eat. I couldn’t communicate with any of my friends that he didn’t like. You didn’t see that, because he liked you. So at least I had you. And there was so much more, Linzi, but I can’t, I just can’t, talk about it now. Not yet.”

Even then, though, Linzi had, clearly, not quite believed her. How could she have done because Gary would never have been able to get Suzanna’s number off her. But no, all Linzi had been able to see was the dazzling image Gary portrayed to the world.

To be fair to him, he had been all that and more, but it all had come at a cost, and that cost had been her freedom and happiness. The thing she had not been able to tell Linzi, and that she could never forgive Gary for was that he had forbidden her to visit her mother when she had been diagnosed with cancer. She had stood by his side when his uncle passed away from lung cancer, held his hand and wiped away his tears, comforted and consoled him when the loss got too much for him to bare. But, when she had asked for the same…  For Suzanna, this had been the final straw. Only Suzanna ever had the misfortune experienced the true wrath of the control freak who had turned into her jailer for the last two years they were together.

She thought that, if she had been able to tell Linzi that then maybe, maybe, she might have understood, and she would not be having this conversation with him now. But she had not been able to tell her that, anymore than she could make herself hang up on him, and now all she could do was listen to him go on and on, even if she did not let herself take in any of what he actually had said.

When he had finally gone, his offer of, still being there for her no matter what, ringing in her ears, Suzanna logged back on the chat lines and lost herself in the many lives and worlds of the men desperate to escape into their own fantasies. In a way she understood their need more than most chat girls because she needed to escape too.  

“Hi there,” she said, nothing in her voice to betray the emotions stirred up by his call. “You’re speaking to Rose.” And, just like that, another dance began…


Chapter Two

After she had left Gary, change was the one thing she was in desperate need of. At first, she had gone for the ‘safe’ option- taking a job in a credit card call centre but, after cut-backs had cost her that job, she wanted something different, something to take her away from her present situation. So, there had stood Suzanna Hargraves, three months shy of her thirty-ninth birthday, deciding to take up a challenge, hoping both to find the woman she had been, but also to reinvent that woman into the person she was certain she could be, and in a way that was completely different to anything else she had experienced before. She had needed change, and change was indeed about to happen.  She was about to become a completely different woman altogether- because that was what was required of her to undertake her new career. She had struggled at first, even under the new name of ‘Rose’, but then, little by little, she had allowed Rose to become almost a separate part of her. A part of her that did not have her inhibitions or reserves. A part of her that was freer, not tied down by her concerns and responsibilities.

From that point on, the job itself could not have been easier and, to be quite honest, she actually enjoyed flirting with the guys on the phone. For the most part they were really nice, down to earth, everyday guys who were a bit lonely, even talked to her about an up and coming divorce or separation. Sometimes they were frustrated naughty boys who just want to explore a different side to their sexuality. Not one to judge, disapprove, or misunderstand them, Suzanna, as Rose, was getting to know a different side to men, and to herself, truthfully speaking she was enjoying the mutual masturbation, which a whole new experience for her. Not masturbation, she had done that most of her life either in or out of a relationship and had no hang-ups in that area. Where Gary was concerned, that had been just as well, since he had never turned her on even when he was trying. They had fucked many times but only when and how he wanted. Sexual gratification over the phone with a complete stranger, however, was sometimes mind blowing for her. Up until then she had though it to be made up and solely to enhance a writers’ vivid imagination. In a way it was a good thing really, she knew from first hand experience how the chat affected men because it affected her that way too.

Suzanna believed it was because she and they were tapping into parts of the brain that had a direct link to their genitals. There certainly was a direct link to hers! She had never experienced a throbbing sensation between her labia lips before. She was always amazed at how wet she was from the moment she logged on until falling asleep.

Quite often it was not just sex fantasies she brought to life.  She had been an agony aunt and even a sex therapist on several occasions. Suzanna felt, sometimes, that she was bringing a small ray of hope into the lives of those seeking help or advice. If they wanted to just chatter on about anything and everything she was happy just to listen. She had been a barmaid in her late twenties so she knew all about listening to peoples’ problems. Once upon a time she had had lots of good friends she could chat to, but that was before the last man to invade her life.

Somehow, talking to strangers over the phone was very freeing, almost liberating. You never really knew each other so it was easy to talk about anything. No barriers or inhibitions. Occasionally, some of her regulars listened to her trials and tribulations, could easily be deemed therapy both ways. Suzanna, discovered things about herself, such as how much she got off with some of her callers in ways she never did in real life sexual encounters. She found that she had not even been aware of half the stuff that turned her on. She did not want to do most of it for real but the thought of it, especially the outrageous stuff, gave her such intense orgasms. In fact, she had her first multiple-orgasm over the phone, squealing as she did so as what felt like a waterfall of wetness, a cascade of convulsions, shuddered repeatedly though her body.  She could so easily understand how it was for some of them when at the end of a call the guy would say it was better than any sex he had ever had. They would go on about her voice and how sexy and warm and womanly she sounded. That her soft breathy whispers of pure sexual delight oozed down into their ears and had them rock hard every time they heard her intros stored on the chat lines. She found it gave a fantastic boost to her confidence. Which was just what she so needed right now.

Suzanna found her thoughts being pulled back to the other day when the phone rang, bringing a certain unwanted guy back into her life. Why did he have to trouble her again? She had prayed for so long for him to meet someone else and leave her high and dry just like any other normal two-timing bastard. But no, he had to cling on to her like a drowning man holding onto the remnants of her dignity as though his life depended on it. When he did finally meet someone else she honestly thought she would be rid of him, at last. Initially, she had been hurt that he had cheated on her. It was a natural reaction for any woman who had been in a relationship for so long, feeling betrayed and used. That very next morning, however after she had made the discovery of his affair, his other woman had rung him in the early hours of the morning. Suzanna had heard him downstairs, talking to her, Suzanna still did not know the woman’s name, that she had found out about them. It had become obvious from his response that she had asked if Suzanna was all right. Suzanna had realised that Gary must have told his mistress the day before that she had found the musical card she had sent him thanking him for loving her. 

Hearing the one-sided conversation drifting up the stairwell to her all Suzanna had been able to think was “poor misguided bitch”. She would soon learn that Gary loved no one but himself. A lesson which, like Suzanna, she would undoubtedly learn the hard way. She knew that was how Gary could make a woman feel. She had felt that way once, but now Suzanna found herself thanking God for bringing this wretch into Gary’s life. It had given her the opportunity to break free of him; while he was abroad with his ’other’ woman she had escaped his clutches.

Forcing herself out of her depressing thoughts, Suzanna looked at the clock and realised it was time to sort out some lunch before logging on at two this afternoon. She had been out shopping for a special treat planned for this evening: her former flat-mate, Sarah, was joining her for dinner and Suzanna was really looking forward to a good old catch up and half-hoped things were going well in her friend’s love life. Thinking about her friend’s impending visit she pottered around the kitchen preparing a chicken Caesar salad for lunch, quick and easy just how she liked her midday meal to be. The ringing of the phone caused her to stop mid-chop. Only when working did she have the phone with her, so she had to dash into the sitting room to pick it up. Suddenly, a sickly familiar commanding voice invaded her ears.

“Hey babe, sorry to intrude. There’s some mail here for you. I can bring it round if you like or you can come and collect it.”

As if you care, she thought. He was always so generous in his offers. He had helped her when she split from her first husband. At the time, Terry had left her homeless and in debt, debt which Gary had paid off. They had met quite by chance.  For some unknown reason, she had poured her heart out to him and, before she knew what was happening, she had moved in with him.  Looking back now, Suzanna thought that he had probably manipulated her into that, too but, either way, he had been there for her, but only on his terms, only to get something he wanted, and she was sure that was what he was doing now.

Finally, reaching the only reaction she could muster, Suzanna let an audible sigh escaped down the phone line. She could almost see his smile at the sound of this. Like an alligator smiles before it devoured its victim. She just knew she should have moved a lot further away. “Next week, sometime it will have to be…”

Of course it was, and why wouldn’t it be? A chance to get his hooks into her again. For that reason, she did not want to face him alone, but she knew Linzi was popping by next week to see how she was coping without her man. Linzi could come with her to pick up the mail. She knew Linzi would only be too happy to see them together again, for all of five minutes, at least, and perhaps, she might finally see what Suzanna had been trying to get her to see before.

So that was agreed. No more chitchat; he had got what he wanted, Suzanna coming back into his life. That’s as may be but certainly not the way he had planned it, not this time.

Sitting and eating her lunch, Suzanna could not help but think maybe she had tempted fate by having thoughts about Gary but at least she had stayed strong, had not shown any weakness and had held her resolve. There was a bit of a slip with the sigh, then the thought of going back there to his house with Linzi pulled her back and had her hanging up with her head held high. Besides, knowing Gary there probably was no mail at all. He had leapt upon her weakness once to often when she was at her lowest, when the break-up of her marriage and the two miscarriages seemed too much to bear. He comforted her in his own way but there was never any compassion from the man. What did she want kids for anyway? All they did was take up your free time and swallow your social-life. Suzanna could see why he never wanted kids: they would have taken away his control of everyone around him. He could manipulate anyone to his advantage just like he had done her. When she had been at her most venerable he began his destruction of her strength and resolve, turning her into someone she was not, his doormat, his pet, his captive.

She hadn’t always been this weak, had she? Suzanna wondered. She knew she could be called an easy-going person that was true. And if any of her friends needed her she was always there for them, no questions asked. But the same could be said for them with her. She never saw it as a sign of weakness, being there for people you care for. Yes, she would be the first to admit she could not say no to her any of her friends but surely that did not mean she was a latent submissive?

This was one area of her life were the chat-lines taught her so much about herself. Occasionally, she cringed inwardly at some of the submissive calls she had to participate in. One of her callers who had become a regular did tend to freak her out somewhat in the beginning. He sounded a little too much like Gary for her liking, but he always ended the call on a much sweeter note than Gary would ever be capable of. Suzanna had let herself succumb to the caller a little more than she usually did however, it did work in her favour because other than the fantasy the guy seemed really nice. She ‘performed’ so much better than the other girls, or so he had reassured her. There was a vulnerability to her voice he never heard when sharing his fantasy with one of the other chat girls. He was always quick to reassure her it was just fantasy. She knew that all right, with him at least.

When she got to do the domination calls, she had often wished she could picture Gary as the sub, especially with cock and ball torture fantasies, considering the number of times, in reality, where his genitals had been at her mercy…. Except that, no matter how much she wished and tried, she just could not visualise it ever being him. He had simply been too controlling for her to reconcile his nature with that fantasy. But the fantasies had shown her, her own dominant side, and how much she enjoyed letting it out. There was this one time a caller came through she had found herself getting turned on by his fantasy and that was for her to sit on his face and smother him. Afterwards, when she had thought about it, it had a felt a little bit disturbing in the way it aroused her like never before. It was completely out of character but, then again, it was just fantasy, after all.

She smiled at the thought: perhaps it was just a case of wishful thinking. Suzanna knew in her heart of hearts she was not a submissive, not to the extent that Gary had demanded of her, it was merely an unfortunate set of circumstance, otherwise she would have still been there under his control.

The sound of her phone ringing snapped her back to reality. It was one of her regular callers that came through. His was a fantasy of a different kind, not so much fantasy as he did it for real. Amazingly, it was always the same fantasy. She referred to him as “The knicker-sniffer” He was obsessed with sniffing worn panties. A sixty-nine year old widower, called Les, who got hooked on sniffing dirty knickers after visiting a massage parlour in a fit of extreme horniness brought on by not having a woman in his life since his wife passed away some three years before. Suzanna had discovered this about her caller on and off the last two months of chatting with him. She had been quite surprised to discover just how well she had gotten to know several of her callers over time.

She remembered that first time with him very clearly; his devotion to knicker sniffing was astounding.

“Hi there, you’re through to Rose. Would you like to know what I look like?” If only she had a quid for every time she gave her description, she thought. As always, this was followed by…”So, what turns you on, horny man?”

A deep guttural groan of pure sexual pleasure vibrated down the phone line. Then came the sound of sniffing. At first, it was almost animal-like, she could imagine it to be a sniffer dog. He was a dirty dog, all right!

“Dirty knickers!” He continued sniffing deeper into the garment he most surely was holding as sometimes the sniffing sound was muffled. “I love sniffing dirty knickers.”

“Then you’d absolutely love sniffing mine. I’ve had then on since nine this morning.”

“Fourteen hours? You’ve had them knickers on all that time? Fuck me, they must stink!”

As Rose, Suzanna chuckled at his remark and could not resist adding, “How would you feel if you knew I hadn’t washed down there for two days?” She knew her men liked it real dirty, and let’s face it she aimed to please. She was not disappointed as she got the reaction she wanted. She had to confess she did get a kick out of whipping them into a verbal frenzy. Thanks to this bit of juicy information she even managed to sell him a few of her knickers via ebay over the weeks they had been talking. That had the advantage of bringing in a bit of extra money, since he had bought a dozen pairs in that time. The disadvantage being he wanted the real taste of her.

All he wanted to talk about was her sitting on his face all night while he licked her, all the time with her pretending to suffocate him at the same time. There were all kinds of asphyxiation and seemingly a lot of men were turned on by the idea of being suffocated by some girl’s dripping wet cunt. But, that was all it was as a rule, the idea of it. No man would really want to die that way. At least, that was her first thought but, the more she dwelled on it, she supposed there were some guys that might actually want to. After all, as she had learned on the ‘lines’, there were more fantasies out there than she could ever had believe. How erotic she found the notion. She had confessed to some of her callers that it did turn her on. Total control did make her a bit giddy at the thought of it, but in a sexual way. Nothing like the sort of control she had been the victim of recently.

This mad world of eroticism Suzanna often found herself lost in was a completely different place to anything she had ever experienced before. It was like a strange sea she was adrift in, and she relied upon the Rose persona as her life-boat. The current and waves transported her, as she did the callers, to a place only they could share. Those ten, twenty, sometimes sixty minutes of sharing another life seemed to renew a passion for living in her. On the phones lines she became stronger and in more control of her life and destiny. All she ever really wanted was to take care of herself, financially and rely on no man for anything.

This time it seemed Les wanted to take things even further, perhaps a little too far for Suzanna, even as Rose.

“You know I’m obsessed with the scent of you.”

She knew all right, after all it was her that got him into this state in the first place.

“You ever asked to meet up with any of your callers?”

Smiling at the mouth-piece she replied, “ Oh, all the time. It seems to be an occupational hazard with this job.” Now he could see the smile on her face from the laughter in her voice.

“And have you?”

“No, it’s just something I wouldn’t do.” And as she intended to put him off completely, she told him. “Baby, if I take time off to meet with one of my callers I’d lose a lot of money, if I don’t work I don’t earn.” She had been asked this question so many times this was the reply usually put them off.

“I could make it worth your while.”

“No, thank you for the offer, but no thanks.” She cut him stone dead with her reply. If there were one thing she would not do that was to have sex for money. Selling her voice and imagination was one thing but her body, no way. On that she was adamant. Too many times she been asked to meet just for a quickie or an all night session but never offered money before. The thing was it could be so easy, like the next progression but she could never be brave enough to start selling her body.

Little did she know that fate would soon be having her doing something similar to what the caller Les wanted to do, eat her; but she would be eating her own words.

That evening Suzanna planned delaying logging on until ten o’clock. Sarah was visiting and she relished a reason not to work for a change. As she lived alone, Suzanna often found herself logging on to the chat lines more and more.  She was beginning to think that was all her life revolved round: sex chat. She was cooking Sarah’s favourite, spaghetti bolognaise followed by chocolate sponge pudding with chocolate sauce. The chocolate pudding was bought, of course, but from a quality bakery. She was a good cook with starters and mains but desserts she had to leave to the professionals. She remembered some years ago, in her early twenties she had the good fortune to date a man who was the best when it came to desserts but unfortunately she became too addicted to him and his puddings that she gained weight until finally he traded her in for a slimmer model. Suzanna cried desperately for some weeks over the loss of his puddings. She concluded she had indeed loved his cooking skills and sadly not the chef.

The doorbell rang, letting Suzanna know that Sarah was finally here, twenty minutes late but that was usual with her friend. Suzanna knew from experience that Sarah always left things to the last minute, and then still managed to change her mind just one more time before she left the house. She did not care, she was just so pleased to see her, it had been some weeks since Sarah had left the flat.

Over the meal the two women shared the recent activities that had taken place in both their lives.

The news of a certain man coming back into Suzanna’s life shocked Sarah completely. All she could muster was a gasp of disbelief. ”No! You’re not going to tell me you’re taking him back?” She knew all about the infamous Gary Coleman. She had consoled her ex-flatmate many times the first few weeks of living together. Sarah hoped her news would put a smile on her face and restore her faith in the male species again, as she told her:

“Engaged to be married!” Suzanna repeated, shocked, but pleasantly so. “Maybe there is hope,” she laughed as she took hold of Sarah’s hands and the two women proceeded to bounce around the room together with joy at the news.

Suzanna had managed to reassure Sarah positively that under no circumstance was she ever going back to the dark place Gary had taken her to ever again. And she really was pleased at Sarah’s news especially after Wayne had confessed to Sarah that he had in fact made a couple of passes at Suzanna and that she had never took him up on the offer. Honesty in a man was the one trait that surpassed any other, and that went for both sexes.

Were things finally looking up for Suzanna, something extra special to look forward to. Standing her ground with Gary, feeling she was strong enough to face him again and on her terms. Things have to go right eventually, don’t they? She thought. It was surely now her time. All she had to do was to get this impending visit out the way, put it all behind her and come out fighting. Be the strong woman she used to be when life held no fear for her.

All through the journey to Gary’s house the following week, Suzanna fought to remember those words, and to keep all other thoughts out of her mind. She didn’t want to remember her life with the man who practically had her as his prisoner the last three years of their relationship. She listened silently as Linzi gushed on endlessly about the two of them getting back together: Maybe now she’d had time apart she would see that the hic-cup they’d experienced would be the making of them. After all Gary knew what he’d lost because he had ended his little dalliance with that other girl. He had seen the light and now so should she Even as she listened, though, all Suzanna could think was that she had seen the light all right, it had been at the end of an escape tunnel and there were no way she would travel back in time!

The two women stood at the front door waiting for it to be opened for them. Suzanna could hear Gary on the phone and suddenly she was transported back to that other conversation she had overheard. She remembered wondering if the other woman knew what she was stepping into. Suzanna knew exactly what she was stepping into:  a house, a relationship and a chapter of her life she hoped she could close the book on.


Chapter Three

“Mmmm, I’ve got a nice wet pair of panties for you this time,” Rose purred down the line. She was talking to Les again. In fact, in the weeks since she had first spoken to him, he had called her a dozen times. “White and frilly and I’ve been wearing them for two days, rubbing myself through them all the time…”

 “Oh, darling, you’re spoiling me,” Les’s voice was thick with arousal down the line. 

“I know,” Rose laughed sexily. “At the rate you keep buying them off me, I’m going to need to start buying panties in bulk soon.”

“No problem,” he replied. “I’ll buy as many as you can send me.”

“Oh, I know you will, baby,” Rose shook her head, chuckling. She had just run through another fantasy with Les about her sitting on his face and drowning him in her cunt juice. She was finding herself more and more turned on by his fantasies, and did not mind at all that she spoke to him twice a week now. She had not been joking about needing new panties, though. She had sold him about a dozen pairs; sealing them in plastic bags in big envelopes, and sent off to the address he had given her, all of it arranged via email. “I’ll send them out to you today,” she promised him.

“I’ll talk to you again, soon,” he assured.  “Keep that cunt dripping for me, darling.”

“Oh, you do that just by speaking to me, Les,” she told him. They laughed together, and then:

“Have you thought any more about my offer, Rose?” She knew exactly what ‘offer’ he meant.  The offer was to meet up and turn his fantasy into reality.

“I don’t meet my callers, Les, I told you.” she said. “I’m sorry, but I don’t.” She usually teased her callers into believing she would meet with them one day but she did not want to do that with Les. Even though he was a dirty old sod, like most of them he seemed a nice old bloke to string along.

“I’m going to keep trying, you know,” he told her.

“I know that too,” she replied. “Bye now, take care.” The line went dead, and Rose logged off the chat line. She put the phone down, and let the character of Rose go once again, returning to being Suzanna. She loved escaping into this other world, becoming this other persona, Rose. Sometimes, Suzanna wondered if she would ever let this other perverted, kinky side of her step out into reality. Maybe this was a darker side to her psyche she had kept hidden. She found it so easy to slip into to ‘Rose’ it even scared her a little. The stuff she found herself talking about shocked even her.

Putting that out of her mind, Suzanna got up and went to the table.  She had a clear plastic bag already laid out, next to an envelope, which was already addressed to Les. She slid her panties down her shapely legs and stepped out of them. As she had told Les, they were wet, and Suzanna quickly bent down, scooped them up and placed them in the bag. She sealed it, and slid it, and its moist contents, into the large brown envelope, which she then put to one side.

Then, after some days now of putting off the inevitable, Suzanna finally turned her attention to the collection of other envelopes on the table. The mail she had retrieved from Gary. Fighting back a little shudder at the memory, Suzanna reached for the pile. If it had been important enough for her to go and get them, she supposed she should at least look at the letters she had fetched.

The first few were nothing, just junk mail:  offers for credit cards she could not afford or cheap purchases she did not want. Suzanna sighed, hoping that she would find something, anything in the pile that would make renewing contact with Gary, if not worthwhile, then at least not a complete step backwards.

A moment later, she realised that sometimes, you really should be more careful about what you wish for. At first glance, the plain envelope did not seem particularly earth shattering. It was rectangular and white with a little plastic window on the front to show her address, nothing out of the ordinary. Suzanna slid her finger under the sealant to open it, and tugged out the letter within.

Her heart skipped a beat as she read it. And read it again. And, even a third time just in case she was still reading it wrong. She did not recognise the marked stationary, from ‘Richards, Hedley and Johnson Accountants,’ but she did not need to know who they were to understand what was there.  We are sorry to inform you…  Although your mother’s life insurance was fully paid up…  Insurance company suffered badly in recession…  Insolvent…  All funds lost…  Company gone into receivership…  Balance of the policy never paid…

Suzanna read it through a fourth time. And yes, despite what she hoped, it still said the same thing. The company she had paid into, every month, for years, for her mother’s life insurance, had gone bankrupt, before they paid out the policy that was supposed to pay for the cost of the funeral. Cold fingers ran down her spine, Suzanna found the next item of post from the funeral home. With trembling hands, she opened it, her mouth tasting like ash.

Dear Miss…  Final demand… overdue payment…  She read it over three times, again. Suzanna was numb with disbelief. The funeral home had never been paid. The insurance that was supposed to have paid them was gone. She was suddenly liable for the full cost of her mother’s funeral. Some eighteen-hundred, twenty-seven pounds and ninety-four pence. Suzanna stared at the letter, at the large, bold-print figure at the bottom of the letter, and felt her head swim. 

“Oh, Christ…” she breathed. Her legs felt like wet rubber as they folded up beneath her. She was suddenly sitting on the floor. How the hell am I going to pay eighteen-hundred, twenty-seven pounds and ninety-four pence? For fuck’s sake. Normally, she saved the swearing for her callers but right now she wanted to swear at the indignity of it all. Instead she screamed a tirade of obscenities silently inside her head. Money was tight enough as it was without a bill for nearly two thousand pounds coming out of nowhere. Her poor mother would have been horrified if she knew she’d been buried in debt, she never owed a single penny to anyone in her entire life. Now, in her final hour, Suzanna felt she had let her mother down. What could she do? No one she knew could lend her that kind of money. Well, one person would trip over himself to help her, the man who she had gone to retrieve the letter from, but there was no way she was opening that door again. Not even for this. She would almost rather sell herself first. Almost…

In a daze, Suzanna pulled herself to her feet and went to her old, out of date, barely functioning laptop, and pulled up her bank balance. A lump of lead settled heavily into her stomach as she realised that, at most, she could put three hundred pounds towards the debt. So I still need to find fifteen-hundred-fucking-quid… she thought despondently. What the hell am I going to do?

For three days Suzanna tried to keep her life in some sort of coherent existence. Throwing herself into the calls and her callers. Maybe she should just contact them and offer to pay so much a month, but then how much would ‘so much’ be? Besides, it could take years, and she hated the idea of going cap in hand, hated the indignity of it all, of having to admit that she had no money to pay for her mother’s funeral with. Had it been any other bill, she could have coped, but for that… It felt like everything was falling in around her. She wished so badly for a lifeline. Something or someone she could turn to. While she had several friends she could ask, perhaps beg a few hundred from each one. There was then the problem of paying them back. And what if I can’t? She thought. Suzanna certainly did not want to alienate them.

The phone ringing dragged Suzanna out of her ever-spinning thoughts, leaving her occupied for the next three hours with a wide selection of intermittent calls from both new and returning callers. The slew of calls trapped Suzanna in her Rose persona, enabling her, to her relief, to take a break from her tumultuous deliberations. The next call came through on ‘special interests,’ which made her sit up and pay special attention; some of those could be very interesting indeed. Could be just what she needed to stop her brain from exploding! You could say it was just the diversity, and diversion, she needed right now.

“Hello, you’re through to Rose.”

“Hello darlin’, you a big girl, then?” Suzanna found it more profitable to say yes to whatever they wanted from her, and so confirmed that she was, in fact, just as big as he obviously hoped.

“Do you have a big fat arse?” The man enquired greedily, huffing and puffing like a warthog down the phone. She imagined she could hear the spittle spraying from his slobbering wet mouth.

“Yes, a humongous fat arse, babe.” Suzanna could not help getting a bit of a kick out of winding the guys up, whipping them into a frenzy, as she termed it. She had to stifle a little throaty giggle at this. Once more she threw herself into this perverse world.

“Oh my God! I’ll just bet you’ve killed a few blokes with that big fat arse of yours.” The hopeful eagerness oozed out the caller’s mouth.

Feeling slightly antiqued, but completely into the call already, Suzanna replied, “Fuck yes! I’ve killed loads!” She seemed to have a knack of knowing where the caller wanted to take the fantasy and slipped easily into any role that was expected of her. Suzanna’s imagination had never been tapped into so vividly before. Perhaps she was a latent actress, she certainly took to all parts very well.

“Ooh…yeah, bet you crushed their heads like grapes. Smothering them under the weight of your humongous backside…mmmm”

Suzanna swore she could actually hear the man slavering his delight at this thought over the phone. “Yeah…” Suzanna continued to feed his frenzy. “ Some of them got stuck up me until I had to grab hold of their ankles and hoist their semi-conscious bodies out my big fat arse!” Sometimes she delighted in her own wickedness. Often she just could not help herself and continued once more with her dance of deception. “There was this one old bloke,” she confided in the caller. “I sat down so hard on his small, wrinkled, old bald head that his false teeth shot up my arse!” she chuckled silently at the man’s gasp of disbelief, then on she danced with the grand finale, in the absolute certainty that it would finish the caller off. “I wouldn’t mind but it took me two hours to pick his fucking teeth out my arse!” This left her in fits of laughter, with the phone discretely muted, of course. She laughed so hard she almost missed hearing the man showing his appreciation by spraying, with such intensity, that he must have splattered all the way up to his ceiling.

It was a good job the caller left when his did. Suzanna had to make a mad dash to the bathroom, she felt sure she had wet herself from laughing so hard. Adjusting and removing her sodden underwear, Suzanna thought, boy oh boy he was just what I needed; an injection of humour into my life right now. She had to admit it was the oddest things that made her guys cum on the chat lines.  


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