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My First BDSM Experience

Article By: MaureenS
Erotica


I always knew I preferred to be submissive; there was something about being dominated by a man that I found deeply exhilarating. But with a disinterested husband, how could I explore this side of myself?


Submitted:Apr 1, 2012    Reads: 4,196    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   


I always knew I preferred to be submissive; there was something about being dominated by a man that I found deeply exhilarating. My upbringing, peers and career made women of my generation very defensive about our equality so I always felt the need to assert myself - to dominate - even though that was at odds with my sexual need to submit.


I always found BDSM alluring but strange. I enjoyed a playful smack during the heat of the moment but the whole leather and whips thing just seemed so alien and so strange. I enjoyed the thought of it but didn't know where (or how) to start.


The internet revealed that BDSM is Bondage (tie me up!) and Discipline (I've been a bad girl!) Dominance (who's the boss!) and Submission (You're the boss!) and Sadism (smack that!) and Masochism (oooh I'm getting spanked!).


I had (and have) a partner who seemed uninterested in the idea. I didn't want to cheat per se but had a fantasy and didn't want to die wondering. A single friend told me about an interesting experience with a BDSM "Master" (male version of a Dominatrix) who called himself the "Marquis de Sud".


I toyed with the idea for weeks before I sent the Marquis de Sud a very sheepish email. He replied by calling me a slave! To be honest this was somewhat offensive initially but I quite liked the idea of being dominated, of being a slave to this strange man. He was very helpful and seemed to have helped other beginners before so this put me at ease. But how could I meet this strange man?


A window of opportunity soon presented (my partner went away for boys weekend). I sent an email asking the Marquis de Sud to visit. We agreed that I might change my mind at any time and we also agreed on "safe words". Safe words are used so the dominant can know how the submissive feels ("Green" = Keep going! "Orange" = It's ok but I'm reaching my limit! and "Red" = Stop). This is so a slave can scream in the heat of the moment "No Master, please don't do that!" when they really mean "Don't stop this is just getting good!".


The big night arrived. I changed my mind about a thousand times before the doorbell rang at the agreed time. I was an absolute mess. My heart was racing; I looked ridiculous in the best BDSM style outfit I could muster (as if I was going to a fancy dress party) and sex was the farthest thing from my mind.


I opened the door and saw him: six feet tall, strong looking, dressed in black and wearing a mask. Yes a mask. I nearly fainted. All I could see was this mask that was straight out of the movie "Eyes Wide Shut". Without saying a word he handed me a mask too, similar to the Catwoman mask. I put it on. I realise now that to see him as a human would have triggered my conscious mind into making the same judgements I use on people I meet every day. Not knowing who he was made him more than human and placing a mask on myself separated my daily life from this adventure. This was my first exposure to the mental aspect of BDSM and as I discovered BDSM is in many ways much more mental than physical.


I invited him in and he asked that I show him around. As I gave him a tour I noticed that he was more interested in watching me. I realise now that he was seeing where I felt comfortable with him and seeing where I was not. He was not interested in comfort zones; I had called him to take me out of mine.


We finished in the bedroom. He gently placed a collar around my neck. I was told to get on my knees and he walked me through the house. He was my master and I did as I was told. He was calm, spoke softly but firmly. When he held me I felt secure. When he ordered me I obeyed. I wanted to obey. I wanted a master and I wanted it to be him. It was strange and I still cannot work it out, as if something came over me, as if there is a part of our brains that are hard wired to obey a master. I felt powerless but I never felt more alive, more in control.


You see in my daily life I choose to be strong. I fight to be strong. I am strong. The Marquis de Sud showed me that it takes strength to choose to submit. It takes strength to obey and a great BDSM Master can help a woman explore the deepest and most rewarding parts of her inner sexuality.


I was tied up in an endless amount of ways. I was spanked, whipped and slapped. I was dominated like never before. I felt like a woman and I felt like a whore. I felt pleasure and I felt pain. I said things I still cannot believe I said and he called me things nobody else has. I was broken down and built back up again.
I loved every second. I lusted every second.


It was the most intense and rewarding experience of my life. I have never felt so sexually aroused or satisfied before, which is strange considering a large percentage of the activities did not actually involve intercourse. It was as if he had sex with my mind and I guess this is what domination and BDSM is about. It's not about costumes, whips and chains but about our own human nature, desires and vulnerabilities.


The Marquis de Sud is a BDSM Master. He is a master at dominating your body, mind and soul. I felt exposed and I thank him for exposing me. I know more about my sexuality now and feel somehow more complete. He taught me that sexuality is something we hide and never see. We experience it but never explore it. I feel that the Marquis de Sud placed me face to face with a long lost friend and I will forever be his "Sub". For the record I have never seen his face or learned his name and think I prefer it that way.


To other women on this journey I wish you the best of luck. If you are in Sydney then I grudgingly recommend the Sydney bondage master the Marquis de Sud (grudgingly because he is my master!).





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