Good Morning Ladies, 3/7/13
I hope this Thursday is amazing for you. After posting on the comment section that I am possibly a slut my column received more reads than it has in a while. The ending result of that honest remark left my emotions tail spinning out of control. I confided in Mystery Man about my actions and he was quite blunt with me. He immediately told me that it is very wrong and must stop. He continued to suggest that I have fantasies about this man. The deeper Mystery Man went the more upset I became. I was even rude to him. Finally I came to terms within myself that he obviously struck a nerve in me indicating some truth within his view point. Otherwise if his claims were completely false I would not have been upset. I finally apologized and I am hoping we can remain friends.
I am sure if any of you have followed my Mystery Man posts from the beginning that “friend” is not the word you would chose to describe him. Undoubtedly for me this is the deepest non-sexual relationship I have had with the opposite sex. We discuss every subject under the sun with his little spins on them. I really have a fun time speaking to Mystery Man. He has encouraged me to come out of my shell with hubby and confess things I never have before. Although this is cathartic leaving me feeling at peace it is also scary to open up candidly to one’s self not to mention a stranger. I think my additional 70 lbs. of weight were packed on by eating my way through guilt and shame caused by previous actions. All of my negative ways are now coming to surface as I am searching my soul for my real self.
Part of me feels incredibly wrong for dragging Mystery Man through my entire l. He obviously was not looking to untangle the past of a middle aged woman when we began speaking with each other. I trust him with my inner beliefs and I have not lied to him once. However, I am hoping I do not get too deep and scare him away. I just hope that if he does decide to break off our communication that he says goodbye to me. For me the hardest part of having a secret friendship is knowing they could end at any moment without bothering to say: “Thank-you for the good times,” “bye,” or “kiss my ass.” I have heard therapist on TV shows that condone breaking off platonic friendships with your other friends girls in this fashion. This woman said it is easiest to do by ignoring phone calls, blocking them, and deleting them off of your friends list on Facebook. To me this is the coward’s way out.
Recently I worked with people who behaved in this fashion to co-workers who they decided were no longer in their click. They were incredibly rude to the point where the entire group got up and moved lunch tables when the person the hated sat down with them. To make matters worse they turned vicious to the lady who sat down to eat knowing they did not approve of her. This childish behavior was not only acceptable at my previous job, but condoned by the boss. You see the head woman in charge hated this person who these ladies dissed at lunch. When the rumor weed got back to the head boss these self-centered ladies became number one in the boss’s eyes. Eventually the person they hated quit. The next target on the boss’s hit list was me. I am so stubborn it took me two years of being tortured before I finally left. I probably would not have quit however, I was bluntly told to get out before I was fired. Everyone told me to let her fire me, but I had never been fired before and did not want that to follow me to my next job.
I left that job eleven months ago leading me into my sad existence of making junk food, lazy days, and lots of sleep my new best friends. I was depressed and cried a lot during this time off. Most people thought I was crazy for not enjoying staying at home. For me a strong work ethic has always been an important part of life. Perhaps it helps me focus on something or maybe I enjoy my little dab of paycheck every two weeks. Whatever it may be I always go stir crazy when I am not employed. Fortunately for me my life is taking a turn for the better. I ended up with my new job by chance of dumb luck and absolutely love it. I met Mystery Man who encourages me to make a deeper bond with hubby and more importantly I am rediscovering who I am. I just am grateful for the chance to feel whole again. Ladies if you are willing to reinvent yourselves please be prepared for a fast and wild ride. After all exploring fifty years of your life can be a grueling process. For me understanding my past behaviors is the only way I can mature into a powerful woman when I reach the big 50!
With heartfelt sincerity, Emma
P.S. If anyone has any comments that are not too radical I would like to hear from you. Thank-you, Emma
Erotic Homework Corner- When you greet your hubby at the door today and you have your legs straddled over him begin kissing him with a piece of chocolate in your mouth. Swap it back and forth letting in fully dissolve before you finish kissing him. Then get up and casually say: Dinner will be ready in a few.
Homework corner if you are shaking your head no- Straddle your hubby from behind and rub his shoulders for a long while. Then whisper in his ear how much he means to you.
Youtube Playlist for Your Dance Workout
Joan Jett I love rock n’ roll
Pat Benatar Love is a battlefield
Ike and Tina Turner Proud Mary
Three Dog Night Joy to the World
Rod Stewart Forever Young
Elvis Jailhouse Rock
Madonna Like a Virgin