Dear Ladies, April 22, 2013
I realized I dropped out of site without even giving any hint that I was taking a little break while I find myself. This was completely insensitive of me since, I continuously complain when people do this to me. As a Midwest girl this is a common acceptance that is quite rude. Simply put I have no business dishing out advice when my life was in a complete shambles. Hubby was convinced we needed to move to the East Coast so he could find himself. My daughter who is morbidly obese has now messed her senior grades up she cannot get into a good college. As far as myself I am still trying to find my inner peace.
You must be asking yourself why I am dumping my problems on you. After all no one’s life is perfect but, somehow we put on a good face and smile nicely throughout the day. Well, this weekend I basically had sense knocked into me by three unlikely sources. First of all Mystery Man sent me a scathing message urging me to grow-up and deal with my issues or he is done with me. Then Joel Osteen echoed his speech by talking about people dumping their personal baggage onto family and friends. Osteen said these people are often good, kind individuals with a propensity to suck everything they can from people. Finally, at church the preacher said fear is the leading cause of co-workers or even complete strangers lashing out at you for zero reason.
If this wasn’t God answering my prayers loud and clear than I do not know what it was. I left church feeling like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Hubby was not happy to learn that I am nixing moving to New York until my son graduates high school in four years. In complete hubby style he yelled at me that I am ruining his life! Then he demanded to know who I was talking to that made me come up with this stupid plan. By Sunday night he had quit talking to me and refused my offer for sex. Well, I guess now he is the one who will have all the headaches. Talk about the shoe being on the other foot!
Before he left today he handed me my study guide for my exam I must take before graduation. He stated flatly that I must live up to my goal of finishing college and getting a job soon in my profession. His remark was the same one Mystery Man made on Friday just in different verbiage. My brother added that if hubby and I do not work together then we will both lose everything. It is hard to imagine losing your belongings, hubby, kids, and more when I never thought I had much to begin with. I guess I have taken my daily lifestyle for granted. My house is not large but it is a home filled with memories of my kids. My job is a peon one that anyone with sixty college credit hours can get but, I am bonding nicely with my co-workers. Lastly my kids are not on jocks, on the honor roll, and do not have any outstanding qualities.
No indeed my family is not unique in any way. However, they have the most stubborn mother in town that refuses to stop believing that we can make something better out of our life. That is my takeaway from this weekend. No matter what road my journey through life takes me, it is up to me to never cower down and cave to the easy road. Trust me each time I opt for the simple path it gets me into debt, aggravation, and confusion. Therefore, I am trying a new path by growing up in my middle age before it is really too late to do so. I have no idea where I am headed expect I know I need a change.
I hope this message made some sense to someone out there. Heartfelt Sincerity, Emma