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only 18 and up

Submitted:Jul 4, 2012    Reads: 1,163    Comments: 4    Likes: 3   

Now I lay me down to sleep / My undies down around my feet / Sheets turned back and a bottle of lube / For the next 10 minutes I'll think of you

A husband and wife r laying in bed. The husband says i cant decide if i wanna watch GOLF or PORN, the wife says watch PORN you already know how to play GOLF.
you are the definition of a squirrel... your only happy when you have nuts in your mouth

I'm pretty sure it was a man who invented the tampon. Why? Because if a woman had invented it they would vibrate so women would actually enjoy their periods.
To the fool who decided a 1 inch Snickers bar should b called 'fun size' --SERIOUSLY when was the last time anything an inch long was fun!?!

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys-R-Us kid. Oh wait! They have adult toys now! Oh, hell yeah, let me grow up!

Bacon is bacon, Eggs are eggs, Don't let a guy get between your legs. guy says your cute, guy says your fine, 9 months later guy says "Not mine!"

say "eye" then spell MAP then say "ness" . so immature right ( =

Say ICE, now say BANK, then say MICE and finally say ELF. Now say each of them together REALLY fast;)LOL
two drunks walk out of a bar and see a dog across the street licking his balls! Drunk#1 Wish I could do that! Drunk#2 Better ask the dog first!!
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids...but now that I'm older I prefer mine in-a-bottle!

roses are red violates are blue all of my naughty thoughts involve you
Husband: Tell me an Interesting fact that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Wife: Yours is bigger than all your friends.
Q. what do you do when there's a cop car behind you, a hippo in front you, and a pony beside you? A. stop drinking, and get off the kids' merry-go-round
im as frustrated as a T-Rex with a hard-on. "CURSE YOU LITTLE ARMS!"


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